SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 3:2-4
Moshe meets Chaim in the cafeteria during their lunch break. “I just met Zevi; he was at the meeting with the boss and the heads of his department. He said that Michoel delivered a report on the company’s profits for the past three months. The boss was not very pleased with the report — and he had a fit when Michoel tried to lay the blame at the boss’s doorstep!
“Zevi says that Michoel had better watch his step, or else he might find himself without a job.
“Now please, don’t tell anyone what I said — I’m sure Michoel would be very upset that Zevi spoke about this, and I’m sure that you don’t want to cause any bad feelings between him and Zevi.”
Had Moshe not warned Chaim to keep the information confidential, then, without question, he would have been guilty of speaking rechilus. The same way he repeated Zevi’s words to Chaim, Chaim would rep eat them to someone else … and eventually, Michoel himself would hear from someone that Zevi had been speaking about him.
The Chofetz Chaim points out that even with the warning not to repeat his words to anyone, and even if he is positive that Chaim will heed his warning, Moshe has sinned by speaking lashon hara. It is obvious that Zevi feels Michoel has acted foolishly by blaming the boss for the company’s problems. Thus, both Zevi and Moshe have cast Michoel in a negative light and have spoken lashon hara about him.
The Chofetz Chaim notes that in the majority of cases, when Reuven tells Shimon what Levi has said about Yehudah behind Yehudah’s back, Reuven has spoken lashon hara either about Levi or about Yehudah. If Levi was correct about what he said, then lashon hara has probably been spoken about Yehudah; if Levi was wrong, then lashon hara has been spoken about Levi.
The Chofetz Chaim notes that there is a situation where Moshe would be correct to tell Chaim this information. If Moshe is convinced that Zevi has been unfair in his criticism of Michoel and he knows that Zevi plans to voice his criticism to others, he would be correct to attempt to silence him. If he knows that Zevi will not listen to him, but he would listen to Chaim, then he would be correct to relate to Chaim what Zevi had said.
The Chofetz Chaim points out an unfortunate mistake that can have serious consequences.
Mrs. Stern meets Mrs. Hoch in the supermarket. “Funny that we should meet today. Just yesterday I was in the doctor’s office, and this fellow Jason who works in your husband’s office was on his cell phone. Boy, was he mad at your husband. Something about having to stay overtime to complete a project …”
Just as it is forbidden to tell such information to Mr. Hoch, so too it is forbidden to tell it to Mrs. Hoch. This is not only because Mrs. Hoch will probably relate it to her husband. It is only natural for a wife to be upset at someone who speaks badly of her husband. Mrs. Hoch will harbor bad feelings towards Jason for what he said. Mrs. Stern, therefore, has sinned by relating such information.
IN A NUTSHELL
Cautioning someone not to repeat rechilus is not necessarily a license to relate such information.
Beware not to speak rechilus when the listener is the subject’s spouse.
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