Author: Acquire@pos

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Positive Commandments

Rabbi Avraham Pam, one of the great Torah leaders of our day, was a legend in his time. He combined within himself all the good qualities one can seek in a human being. His kindness was without limit, his advice was very practical, clear and correct. He never veered from the truth and always walked the path of peace.

How does one define, in one sentence, the essence of this tzaddik?

Someone put it this way: Rav Pam’s heart beat with the qualities contained within the mitzvah, “And you shall go in His ways.” A Jew is commanded to emulate the ways of Hashem. In Sifrei’s words:He [Hashem] is merciful, so you should be merciful; He bestows kindness, so you should bestow kindness.

Rav Pam was so beloved because throughout his long life, he went in Hashem’s ways, relating to every person he met with kindness, empathy, and love.

When a person speaks lashon hara, he is not going in the ways of Hashem. Instead of showing love and spreading good will, he is causing harm and hurt. Therefore, he transgresses the mitzvah “And you shall go in His ways.”

The Chofetz Chaim cites the tragic episode of Achan in Sefer Yehoshua to illustrate how Hashem utterly detests lashon hara. Achan committed a terrible sin by secretly taking some of the spoils of war when the Jews conquered the city of Jericho. Because of this sin, Jewish soldiers fell in the very next battle. Hashem revealed to Yehoshua bin Nin that one man’s sins had caused these deaths, but He did not reveal the identity of the sinner. (Achan was later discovered through a Divinely directed lottery.) Our Sages relate that when Yehoshua asked the name of the sinner, Hashem replied, “Am I a talebearer [that I should reveal his name]? Cast a lottery [and let the sinner be identified through it].”

Of course, the goral (lottery) identified the sinner only because Hashem caused it to do so. Nevertheless, by refusing to identify Achan outright, Hashem was teaching the Jewish people how reluctant they should be to say something negative about anyone — even when the halachah requires that such statements be made l’to’eles (for a constructive purpose). Surely, to say something negative for no constructive reason should be detestable to all.

Whatever has been written thus far applies to lashon hara that is true. If the lashon hara is false, then it is classified as hotza’as shem ra (slander) and the sin is even worse. It is also a transgression of “Distance yourself from falsehood.”

The Chofetz Chaim has enumerated 17 negative commandments and 14 positive commandments that one can be guilty of when speaking lashon hara. Of course, it is impossible to transgress all of them at once. However, says the Chofetz Chaim, if someone is in the habit of speaking lashon hara, then over the course of time he will come to transgress all 31 of these mitzvos.

Not a very pleasant thought.

IN A NUTSHELL
One who speaks lashon hara is guilty of not going in Hashem’s ways.
When lashon hara is false,one has transgressed the mitzvah to distance oneself from falsehood.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Positive Commandments

The study of Torah is the greatest mitzvah of all. A Jew is commanded to study Torah whenever possible. This is why, say Tosafos, we recite Bircas HaTorah only once a day, as opposed to the blessing when eating in a succah, which we recite each time we leave the succah and return later to eat again. A Jew never really “finishes” learning, because as soon as he is free to learn, he has a mitzvah to open a sefer and resume learning.

Of course, this does not mean that we cannot live a normal life. A person needs to eat, sleep, provide for his family — and, yes, he also needs to “unwind,” to relax, to exercise, to “recharge his batteries.” As long as activities lead to the goal of allowing him to study Torah and serve Hashem with a healthy body and clear mind, they are in the category of a mitzvah; they are certainly not considered bitul Torah (time wasted from learning).

However, when a person speaks lashon hara, then aside from the sin of negative speech, the person has also wasted precious time that could have been used for Torah study. The Vilna Gaon taught that every word of Torah is a mitzvah in itself. In a couple of minutes, a person can accumulate hundreds of mitz­vos of Torah learning. By contrast, when a person speaks lashon hara, each negative comment is a sin in itself.

In Pirkei Avos, we are taught that when a person leaves this world, he must stand before Hashem for a “din v’cheshbon” – judgment and accounting. The Vilna Gaon explains that din is the reckoning for the sin itself, while cheshbon is a reckoning for the good that could have been accomplished during the time that the sin was committed. The cheshbon for which a baal lashon hara will be held accountable is frightening.

As the Chofetz Chaim has demonstrated, the harm that one brings to himself by speaking or listening to lashon hara is awesome. A wise, G-d­fearing person should want to stay far away from any group or situation that might lead to such talk.

The Gemara relates that on his deathbed Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai told his talmidim, “May it be the will of Hashem that the fear of Heaven be upon you like the fear of flesh and blood.”

“That’s all?” his talmidim responded. Can it be that we are to fear Hashem only as much as we fear people?

Rabban Yochanan responded, “If only you would fear Hashem that much. For isn’t it true that when a person is about to sin, he says to himself, ‘I hope that no one sees me.’”

Someone who is careless with his words, ignoring the fact that the Torah explicitly forbids us to speak lashon hara, has transgressed the mitzvah of “You shall fear Hashem, your G-d.”

As the Vilna Gaon wrote in his famous letter to his family, “ … For everything one will stand judgment, for every word; not one casual remark will be lost … Why should it be necessary for me to write at length about this most severe of sins … Heavenly angels accompany a person wherever he goes, and not a single word is lost and not recorded … ”

IN A NUTSHELL
When one speaks lashon hara, he wastes time that could have been used for Torah study, and he shows a lack of fear of Hashem.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Positive Commandments

A verse in Sefer Yechezkel1 refers to a beis haknesses (shul) or beis midrash (study hall) as a mikdash me’at, a miniature Beis HaMikdash.

Is it any wonder, then, that to interrupt one’s prayers in shul to engage in pointless conversation is a particularly grave sin?

Is it any wonder that to engage in lashon hara during prayer is even worse?

In fact, to speak lashon hara in a shul or beis midrash at any time is a very severe sin.

The Torah states, “and fear My sanctuary.” This mitzvah, to show special respect for the Beis HaMikdash, applies also to a mikdash me’at, a shul or beis midrash.

In Mishnah Berurah, the Chofetz Chaim writes that engaging in mundane conversation in shul “may transform it into a place of idol worship, G-d forbid.” To speak lashon hara in shul is a particularly terrible sin …
… for in doing so, one shows lack of regard for the Shechinah; also, there is no comparison between someone who sins in private and someone who sins in the palace of the King, in the King’s Presence. This evil is compounded when the sinner causes others to join in his sin…

In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim paints a picture of a distinguished member of a shul who, in full view of the congregation, is engaged in a conversation spiced — or better said, poisoned — with lashon hara. He continues his sinful talk even as the Torah reading begins.

The Chofetz Chaim enumerates the man’s sins:

He has spoken lashon hara.

He has been guilty of chillul Hashem by engaging in conversation in view of everyone as the Torah reading is in progress.

Even if he misses one word or one verse, he has sinned grievously. The halachah states that it is forbidden to leave a shul while the Torah is being read; to do so is a disgrace to the Torah. To engage in conversation in shul during the Torah reading is an even greater disgrace.

If this happens on Shabbos, it is a disgrace to the sanctity of Shabbos.

He has transgressed “and fear My sanctuary.

If the victim of one’s lashon hara is a person over the age of 70 or a talmid chacham of any age, then one has transgressed, “You shall rise in the presence of an elder and show esteem for a sage.” On this verse, the word “zaken” is an acronym, “this one who has acquired wisdom,” and refers to any talmid chacham,whether young or old.

Quite a frightening collection of sins. Let us make sure that we will not be that man.

IN A NUTSHELL
We must be especially careful not to speak lashon hara in a beis midrash or beis haknesses, and not to speak about a talmid chacham or elderly person.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Positive Commandments

Pointing out someone’s misbehavior in a gentle, respectful way is required by the Torah. “You shall reprove your fellow,” is onethe 613 mitzvos. This mitzvah can be challenging at times, depending on your relationship to the person who is doing wrong, and what he is doing.

The Chofetz Chaim offers a powerful illustration where the average person will not find it hard to offer reproof:

You enter the local supermarket and notice that a neighbor of yours, a member of your shul, is heading to what used to be the kosher refrigerator. You observe with alarm as the man absentmindedly takes two deli sandwiches out of the refrigerator and puts them into his shopping cart. Obviously, he has not been to this supermarket since the kosher section was moved some two months ago.
Those two deli sandwiches are treife (non-kosher).

What should you do?

Obviously, says the Chofetz Chaim, there really is no choice. Every bite of meat that the man would eat would be another sin. The only thing to do is to stop him before he takes the first bite.

And it is the same with lashon hara, says the Chofetz Chaim. If someone were to approach you and begin relating something that is heading towards lashon hara, the mitzvah of tochachah (offering reproof) requires that you stop him immediately. “Excuse me,” you can say, “I don’t mean to be rude, but please don’t tell me any more about this. The halachah does not permit me to listen.”

The Chofetz Chaim says that allowing the person to relate his lashon hara and then telling him, “You really should not have said that,” is comparable to allowing the man to eat his treife sandwich and then telling him that he has just eaten non-kosher food.

You are sitting in shul on Shabbos afternoon on a long summer day, after Shalosh Seudos and before Maariv. In the front of the shul, the rav is sitting at the head of the table about to begin his weekly halachah shiur. In the back of the shul, four men are engaged in what appears to be a very enjoyable conversation. You know these men; unfortunately, they are not careful with their words. They enjoy telling funny stories about people whom they all know.
You know that the right thing is to attend the rav’ s shiur. But that conversation in the back looks so inviting ….

The Torah states:”To Him you shall cleave” How does a person attach himself to Hashem? By attaching himself to talmidei chachamim. We should associate with talmidei chachamim at every opportunity so that we will be influenced by them and learn from their ways. In our example, if the person makes the wrong choice and goes to the back of the shul to listen to lashon hara, he has also transgressed the mitzvah

IN A NUTSHELL

We are obligated to stop others from speaking lashon hara.
We should not associate with groups who engage in forbidden con­versation.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Positive Commandments

As the saying goes, truth is stranger than fiction. That certainly was true in “The Case of the Disappearing Cookies.”

Some 20 years ago, an eighth-grade yeshivah student returned to class after recess and discovered that a bag of cookies was missing from his desk. Only one boy had remained in the classroom during recess, and he denied any knowledge of what had happened to the cookies. The cookies’ owner found this impos­sible to believe. “They were in my desk when I left the room at the beginning of recess, and you admit that no one was in the room during recess other than yourself. And yet, you claim that you have no idea where my cookies are. I’ll tell you where they are — you ate them!”

As soon as the rebbi entered the classroom, the student rushed over to him, pointed a finger at the other boy, and shouted, “He stole my cookies!”

The mystery was solved a few minutes later when another rebbi walked into the room and said, “You are not going to believe what I saw. I was walking by this classroom a few minutes ago when I noticed a squirrel scampering along the window ledge. Suddenly, it began to jump from desk to desk until it came to that desk” — and he pointed — “and took out a bag of cookies! I was amazed by the squirrel’s sense of smell; it knew exactly in which desk there was food.

“I watched it disappear out the window as it dragged the bag with its teeth.”

The owner of the cookies meekly apologized to the other boy.

The Torah states, ”Judge your fellow favorably.” From here, we learn the obligation to give others the benefit of the doubt. If we see an average Jew do something that has an even chance of being either good or bad, we must assume that he has not done anything bad. If he is known as a yarei Shamayim (G-d-fearing person), then even if it seems more likely that he has done wrong, we are obligated to give him the benefit of the doubt.

In our story, the owner of the cookies had no proof that the other boy had done anything wrong. By telling the rebbi, “He stole my cookies!” he was guilty of speaking lashon hara and of not giving the boy the benefit of the doubt.

What he could have done was to report to the rebbi that his cookies were missing and that the rebbi might want to speak to the boy who had remained in the room. The boy probably would have told the rebbi that he was absorbed in a book and would not have noticed if anyone had quietly stepped into the room during recess. (He certainly would not have noticed a squirrel scampering along the desks.)

There are more serious situations where lashon hara involves multiple sins:

Mr. and Mrs. Smolner hired Yanky and his crew to rip out the old floor in their dining room and replace it with a new wood floor. The Smolners were not fully pleased with the finished product and they asked for a reduction in price. Yanky insisted that the finished product was fine and demanded the full price that had been agreed upon. Mr. Smolner paid the full price, but at every opportunity, he told others that Yanky did mediocre work. Yanky’s business suffered because of this.

The Torah states, “… You shall hold on to him-a ger and resident-so that he can live with you… and let your brother live with you.” From these verses we learn that we are commanded to help our fellow Jew to earn a livelihood. We should offer him a loan or a gift of money so that his business will be successful; we should offer him work or become partners in a business venture with him. We should do whatever possible to save him from falling into a situation where he cannot support his family and would sink into poverty.

In our example, Mr. Smolner is doing the opposite. He is ruining Yanky’s reputation and causing others to decide not to hire him. If Mr. Smolner truly feels that he was cheated, he can go to beis din and ask them to summon Yanky to a din Torah (court case). Ruining another person’s good name is not the Torah way and is a transgression of the mitzvos mentioned above.

IN A NUTSHELL
Speaking lashon hara can result from not judging others favorably, and can damage another person’s livelihood, a most serious sin.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Positive Commandments

Among the 613 mitzvos is the command,“Remember what Hashem, your G-d, did to Miriam on the way when you left Egypt.” Miriam was stricken with tzara’as after she criticized her brother, Moshe Rabbeinu, in a private conversation with her brother Aharon HaKohen. She criticized Moshe because she misjudged him; she did not realize that because Moshe’s level of prophecy was greater than that of any prophet who ever lived, he needed to live a dif­ferent kind of life. By misjudging him, she was guilty of speaking lashon hara.

When discussing the mitzvah to remember this incident, Ramban writes:

The Torah commands that we remember the great punishment that Hashem brought upon the righteous prophetess [Miriam], who spoke only against her brother, with whom she did kindness and whom she loved like her own self; and she did not speak in his presence, which would have embarrassed him, nor she did she speak about him in public. She spoke only between herself and her holy brother [Aharon] in private, yet all her good deeds did not help her [to escape punishment for speaking lashon hara]. So too, you will not escape punishment if you speak to your brother against your fellow Jew.

The mitzvah of “Love your fellow as yourself,” is “the great rule of the Torah,” as the Tanna R’ Akiva said. Sefer HaChinuch calls this “the mitzvah of ahavas Yisrael.”

In the Chofetz Chaim’s words:

We are commanded to be concerned for someone else’s money as we would be for our own; to be concerned for his honor and to speak his praises the same way that we are concerned for our own honor.
When someone speaks lashon hara or rechilus about his fellow Jew, or accepts lashon hara or rechilus — even if the information is true — he shows clearly that he does not love him at all. Surely, he has not fulfilled the requirement of this verse [meaning, to love the person like one’s own self].

The Chofetz Chaim makes a powerful point. No one is perfect; we all have faults. Yet no one wants others to know about his faults in the slightest way. If someone were to discover one of my faults and tell someone else about it, I would be thinking, “Oh, how I hope that he won’t believe what was said about me!”

Yet, this fault that I want so badly to keep a secret is only a fraction of all the faults I possess. It is only because I care about myself so much that I don’t want anyone to think of me in a bad light.

This is the way we have to think when it comes to another person’s honor. We must protect his dignity and make no mention of his faults.

 

IN A NUTSHELL
We must learn a lesson from Miriam’s mistake.
When we speak lashon hara, we transgress the mitzvah of ahavas Yisrael.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

Flattery will get you nowhere” is how the saying goes. In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim teaches us that flattery can, in fact, accomplish a lot — in the negative column.

Mr. Degelman has applied for a job in a thriving company owned by Mr. Stern. It is a prominent,high-paying job, and Mr. Degelman wants it very badly.
One day as he is walking out of shul, he overhears Mr. Stern mention that he is not on speaking terms with Mr. Rothberg because of a financial disagreement. “Ah,” Mr. Degelman says to himself, “this is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for.” He approaches Mr. Stern and says, “You know, not many people are aware of this, but I happen to know that a couple of weeks ago, Rothberg made a major blunder in the investment market and is still trying to recoup his losses.”
“Is that so?” Mr. Stern responds. “Serves him right, that good-for-nothing. And I wonder if his losses have anything to do with his cheating me.Thanks for the information.”

The Torah states,”and you shall not flatter the land.” According to some Rishonim (Early Commentators), this verse forbids false flattery. In our example, Mr. Degelman has engaged in flattery to win favor with Mr. Stern.

If Mr. Degelman had acted according to the Torah, he would have tried to find a way to make peace between the two men. Or, says the Chofetz Chaim, he might have gently attempted to explain the tragedy of machlokes (strife) to Mr. Stern. Instead, he spoke lashon hara and possibly added fuel to the fire by giving Mr. Stern new reason to think he was cheated.

Mr. Degelman’s real problem is a lack of emunah (faith in Hashem). If he truly believed that how much he earns and what job he holds is decreed in Heaven, he would not have engaged in such shameful behavior as a way of getting the position that he wanted so badly.

Sometimes, says the Chofetz Chaim, it is the listener of lashon hara who is guilty of flattery.

Stanley’s boss, Ben Walder, has just ended a business meeting with Chaim Bern, a member of Stanley’s shul. The meeting did not go well and Walder did not get the deal he had been hoping for. He is angry. Mr. Walder approaches Stanley and says, “I understand you know this Bern fellow — he’s been president of your shul for three straight years. How was he ever elected? He is the most miserable, stubborn, haughty person I’ve ever met! You know what I mean — right?”
Stanley smiles, meekly nods his head, and says, “Yes, yes, I know what you mean.” In his heart he is thinking, “The truth is that Chaim Bern is a very nice person; it’s for good reason that he’s been our shul president for the past three years. But I don’t want to get on my boss’s bad side. I have no choice but to agree with whatever he says.”

Of course, Stanley is absolutely wrong. He should have responded to his boss’s tirade by saying, “Sir, I don’t mean to be disrespectful and I certainly don’t want to anger you, but Chaim Bern really is a wonderful person.” It is possible that his boss would have sharply rebuked him— but that would have been a small price to pay for upholding the Torah. As our Sages teach, “Better to be called a fool all your life and not be considered wicked before Hashem even for an hour.”

At worst, Stanley would have been fired. A Jew is required to surrender all his money rather than transgress a single lo sa’seh (negative commandment). Yes, getting fired would have been difficult. But one must believe b’emunah shleimah (with perfect faith) that in the long run, one does not lose from fulfilling the will of Hashem

The Torah states, “Do not curse a deaf person. As Rashi teaches the Torah in fact forbids us to curse any Jew. If someone loses his temper at someone and in the process not only speaks lashon hara about him but also curses him, he has transgressed this sin as well.

IN A NUTSHELL
We must be on guard not to speak or listen to lashon hara as a means of gaining approval.
Speaking lashon hara can sometimes involve the lowly act of cursing another Jew.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

Better that one throw himself into a fiery furnace rather than embarrass someone else in public.” To embarrass someone else is a most serious sin. In fact, Tosafos is of the opinion that a Jew is obligated to sacrifice his life, to die al kiddush Hashem, rather than embarrass another Jew in public (as the Gemara quoted above seems to indicate).

Unfortunately, there are times when we see one Jew embarrassing another. How can this be? How is it possible for an otherwise Torah-observant Jew to be guilty of one of the most serious sins in the Torah?

Rabbi Yisroel Chaim Kaplan was a revered tzaddik and the Mashgiach Ruchani of Beis Medrash Elyon in Monsey. One day, R’ Yisroel Chaim ran into the beis midrash and, with tears streaming down his cheeks, shouted, “I just saw a murder!” The students were momentarily frightened, until R’ Yisrael Chaim explained. “I just witnessed one student embarrassing another — that’s murder!”

The Manchester Rosh Yeshivah, Rabbi Yehudah Zev Segal, maintained that if children would be taught from their early youth that there are few things as terrible as embarrassing someone, they would be on guard against committing this sin.

If Reuven speaks lashon hara about Shimon in Shimon’s presence and this causes Shimon embarrassment, then Reuven has also transgressed the
Sin of, “… and do not bear a sin because of him”, which we learn that it is forbidden to embarrass someone even when correcting him for the wrong that he has done. If he has embarrassed him in public then he is in danger of forfeiting his share in the World to Come; teshuvah, which includes seeking forgiveness, is his only hope.

Another very severe sin is to cause pain to an orphan or widow, “You shall not cause pain to any widow or orphan.”This pasuk is followed by a frightening warning concerning those who are guilty of this sin. Rambam writes:

One must be careful regarding orphans and widows … as it is written, “You shall not cause pain to a widow or orphan.” And how should one act towards them? One should only speak gently to them, and treat them only with respect. One should not hurt their bodies through hard work, nor their hearts through [hurtful] words …

When someone speaks lashon hara about an orphan or widow in his or her presence, causing the person to feel hurt or embarrassed, he has transgressed this sin. Here, too, his only hope is to engage in sincere teshuvah and seek forgiveness.

IN A NUTSHELL
Speaking lashon hara can involve the very serious sin of embarrassing someone or causing pain to a widow or orphan.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

There is no greater source of blessing than shalom, peace, and there is no greater source of destruction than machlokes, strife.

When Jews are at peace with one another, we cre­ate a special aura of protection around ourselves. We are protected from our enemies, we are protected from the indictments of the Satan, and even more incredibly, we are protected from Divine punishment for our sins.

This, said Rabbi Aharon Kotler, was the difference between the Generation of the Flood and Generation of the Dispersion. The fact that the Generation of the Flood was mired in robbery proved that the people were not united at all. Therefore, their fate was sealed and they were destroyed. However, the Generation of the Dispersion, though it was rebellious towards Hashem, maintained unity towards one another. Therefore the people dispersed but not destroyed.

When lashon hara causes or strengthens machlokes, the speaker has transgressed, “And do not be like Korach and his congregation.”
Korach led a shameful rebellion against the leadership of Moshe Rabbeinu and Aharon HaKohen. The story of his rebellion and the bitter end that he and his followers met remains a symbol for all time of a dispute that was not l’shem Shamayim (for the sake of Heaven) and therefore had tragic consequences.

The Torah states, “And you shall not aggrieve one another.” Rashi states: “Here the Torah cautions us regarding causing pain through hurtful words.”

The Torah forbids us to say [or do] anything that will hurt someone’s feelings. This is very different from the common case of lashon hara. Common lashon hara is where Reuven tells Shimon, “You know, Levi is a terrible person,” or something else derogatory about Levi. Ona’as devarim is where Reuven tells Levi, “You know, you really are a terrible person.” Though these words were said privately, the speaker has been guilty of the very serious sin of ona’as devarim because he has hurt Levi’s feelings.

The Chofetz Chaim informs us that if Reuven tells Shimon, “Levi is a terrible person,” and Levi is present, then aside from transgressing the sin of lashon hara, Shimon has also been guilty of ona’as devarim.

The classic example in Tanach of ona’as devarim is the episode of Chanah and Peninah, the two wives of Elkanah. Chanah was childless, while Peninah had a number of children. Peninah, recognizing that Chanah was a tzadekes, firmly believed that if Chanah would pray more intensely, she would be granted a child. So she taunted Chanah in the hope that this would spur her on to greater tefillah. Though her intentions were honorable and, as Rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz writes, it surely pained Peninah to hurt Chanah’s feelings, she did not escape severe punishment.

R’ Chaim compares this to someone who puts his hand in a fire. The best intentions in the world will not save him from getting burned. To hurt a person’s feelings is to play with fire.

IN A NUTSHELL
Lashon hara can sometimes lead to machlokes, which is highly destructive, and can involve the terrible sin of hurting someone’s feelings.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

Want to hear what Yosef did? You’ve got to hear this! — But don’t tell him that I told you! He thinks I’m his friend.”

When someone speaks lashon hara and at the same time is careful that the other person should not know of his dislike towards him, he has transgressed, “Do not hate your brother in your heart.” The key word here is “in your heart, “It is wrong to show open hatred for a fellow Jew. But it is even worse to act as if you like him while harboring hatred in your heart. This is the kind of hatred of which this verse speaks.

If we think that we have a valid reason for being upset or even angry with someone, then we should speak to the person about it, in a respectful manner. If we keep the anger bottled up inside it will grow, and over the course of time will most certainly develop into sinas chinam, baseless hatred. This is the hatred that destroyed the Second Beis HaMikdash.

If someone speaks lashon hara about someone out of a desire to “get even” with that person or because he bears a grudge against him, then he has transgressed, “Do not take revenge and do not bear a grudge.

Sometimes we are truly wronged by someone and we find it hard not to bear a grudge When this happens, there are a number of thoughts we can focus on to rid ourselves of bad feelings towards that person.

We can tell ourselves any or all of the following: “I don’t know what possessed him to do such a thing to me. Maybe he is having problems of which people are unaware, and this is causing him to behave this way.”

“I actually feel more sorry for him than for myself. Thank G-d, I do not resort to such behavior, even when I am upset with someone.”

“What will I gain by bearing a grudge or seeking revenge? This will only lead to more bitterness and ill feelings, and everyone will lose. On the other hand, if I rid myself of any ill feelings and forgive him, Hashem will judge me the same way and be forgiving of my misdeeds.

“And if I am good to him, there is a reasonable chance that he will want to respond in kind, and we will be on the way to real friendship and good will.”

Finally, we should bear in mind the following: In Heaven, all Jewish souls are one. Therefore, seeking revenge against another Jew is as ridiculous as hitting one’s own hand for “having the nerve” to get stuck in a door. What the person is actually doing is punishing himself.

IN A NUTSHELL
If we truly seek to avoid lashon hara, we must rid ourselves of hatred towards others, and we must not seek revenge or bear a grudge.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

In his famous Iggeres (Ethical Letter) to his son, Ramban writes that anavah, humility, is the greatest of all good midos, and that it leads to yiras Hashem, awe of Hashem. Being humble does not mean to think of oneself as a “nobody,” a failure. To the contrary, a person can be successful in life only if he has self-esteem and feels good about himself.

What, then, is anavah?

To be humble is to realize that whatever we accomplish in life is only through siyata diShmaya, help from Hashem. Without Hashem’s help, we are helpless, literally.

To be humble also means to realize that although we have accomplished many good things in our lives, we really do not know if we are achieving our potential. It is possible that we can accomplish so much more.

To be humble also means not to feel haughty just because we have been blessed with talent in any given area. A talent is a blessing from Hashem to be used in His service, not to make one feel superior to others.

Finally, to be humble means to realize that we are not perfect. No one is. So rather than focus only on our good qualities and feel proud, we should give “equal time” to our faults, recognize them, and work to correct them.

The Torah states, “And your heart will become haughty and you will forget Hashem, your G-d. Another verse states, “Be careful, lest you forget Hashem, your G-d.” By way of the first verse, the Gemara derives that the second verse is a negative commandment not to be haughty. The Chofetz Chaim draws the following conclusion:

Since the speaker of lashon hara belittles others, most probably he considers himself a wise, important person — for if he recognized his own faults, then why would he make fun of others? Thus, one who speaks lashon hara is guilty of arrogance and has transgressed this sin.

The Chofetz Chaim adds that when a person builds his own stature in the eyes of others by belittling someone else, then he certainly is guilty of this sin. Furthermore, our Sages teach us that this person loses his portion in the World to Come.
The Torah states, “… You shall not desecrate My holy Name…” This verse cautions us not to cause a chillul Hashem, desecration of Hashem’s Name, through our words or actions. The Chofetz Chaim says that when someone speaks lashon hara, he is guilty of chillul Hashem. In the Chofetz Chaim’s words:
As this [lashon hara] does not involve taavah (craving) or physical pleasure which can allow a person to be overcome by his desires, therefore, committing this sin is considered a sort of rebellion against Hashem and a casting off of the yoke of Heaven — and this is a chillul Hashem.

What exactly does the Chofetz Chaim mean? True, there is no physical pleasure in speaking lashon hara, but there is pleasure.

Don’t people enjoy telling others how someone did something utterly ridiculous? Doesn’t the speaker feel pleasure when his listeners roar with laughter and slap him on the back for telling a great story? Why, then, is this a chillul Hashem?

The answer may be that there is a great difference between this pleasure and the pleasure of, for example, eating non-kosher food. The desire to enjoy good food is something inborn. If someone has a craving for nonkosher food, we do not tell him, “Well, program yourself to look at this food as disgusting, and then you won’t want to eat it.” This will not work and, in fact, our Sages state clearly that one should not say, “Non-kosher food is despicable to me.” Rather, he should say, “I would like to eat it, but Hashem decreed that I should not.”

Lashon hara, however, is different. People are not born with a desire to speak lashon hara. They develop a desire for it because they choose to focus on others’ faults. Furthermore, a person who enjoys telling nega-tive stories about people can program himself to change his attitude. He can develop a feeling that making fun of others is something despicable. Rather than enjoying the good laugh he gets at someone else’s expense, he can learn to enjoy the pleasure of refraining from evil speech.

And if he does not make the effort to “reprogram,” then he has cast off the yoke of Hashem regarding this mitzvah and has been guilty of chillul Hashem.

IN A NUTSHELL
Speaking lashon hara is a sign of arrogance and is a chillul Hashem.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

When a person speaks lashon hara, he transgresses the pasuk, “Beware of a tzara’s affliction, to be very careful and to act…”

Tzara’as is not leprosy. Though it is a skin disease, it is a disease unlike any other. It is not caused by contact with a germ or other form of impurity. The Gemara teaches that tzara’as is a punishment for any one of seven sins; at the top of the list is lashon hara.

We can learn how terrible lashon hara is from the very severe tumah of a metzora (one who is afflicted with tzara’as). A metzora is the only living person who can transmit his tumah to another human being simply by standing under the same roof with that person, though there is no actual contact between them.

A metzora must live in solitude; he must let his hair grow and tear his clothing like a mourner. He must call out to those who pass by, “I am tamei (impure)! I am tamei!”

No other tamei in the Torah has to make such an announcement. What is its purpose? The Gemara states that the metzora makes this announcement so that others will pray that he should be healed of his tzara’as. The question, though, remains. Why doesn’t the Torah state that those who are afflicted with other forms of tumah should ask that others pray for them?

The Chofetz Chaim explains: Normally, a person’s Torah learning and prayers have awesome power in Heaven. But this is not the case with a ba’al lashon hara, one who often speaks lashon hara. Zohar teaches that when a person contaminates his mouth with lashon hara, the ruach hatumah (spirit of impurity) created by his words affects his gift of speech in a very powerful way. His Torah and tefillah are wrapped in a spirit of impurity and carry little weight in Heaven.

Therefore, the metzora cannot count on his own prayers to rid himself of his tzara’as. For this, he must call out to others, “I am tamei! I am tamei!” and hope that they will pray on his behalf.

In Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, the Chofetz Chaim asks: If tzara’as is a punishment for lashon hara, why don’t ba’alei lashon hara become afflicted with it nowadays? He cites the explanation of Chidah:

When Hashem punishes someone, He does so for the person’s benefit, so that he will do teshuvah. It was only while the Beis HaMikdash stood that a metzora could become purified from the tumah of his tzara’as. Today, when to our misfortune there is no Beis HaMikdash and no korbanos, there would be no way for a metzora to become tahor; he would remain with this severe form of tumah for the rest of his life. Therefore, today, the tumah of tzara’as clings only to the neshamah, but not to the body.

Both one who speaks lashon hara and one who listens to it are guilty of the sin of, “And before a blind person do not place a stumbling block.” With these words the Torah forbids a Jew to cause another Jew to sin. When someone speaks lashon hara to a willing listener, each one is causing the other to sin. Although the speaker is the one who initiates the conversation, the listener is required to either tell the speaker to stop or simply walk away.

The Chofetz Chaim concludes this segment by quoting the ethical will of the Tanna R’ Eliezer HaGadol to his son Hyrkanos:

My son, do not sit among groups who speak disparagingly of others. For when their words ascend to Heaven, they are recorded in a book, and those who are present are inscribed as a “Wicked Group.”

In Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, the Chofetz Chaim asks: If tzara’as is a punishment for lashon hara, why don’t ba’alei lashon hara become afflicted with it nowadays? He cites the explanation of Chidah:

When Hashem punishes someone, He does so for the person’s benefit, so that he will do teshuvah. It was only while the Beis HaMikdash stood that a metzora could become purified from the tumah of his tzara’as. Today, when to our misfortune there is no Beis HaMikdash and no korbanos, there would be no way for a metzora to become tahor; he would remain with this severe form of tumah for the rest of his life. Therefore, today, the tumah of tzara’as clings only to the neshamah, but not to the body.

IN A NUTSHELL
· From the metzora and his tzaraas we learn the severity of lashon hara.
· By speaking or listening to lashon hara, we are causing someone else to sin.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM Preface: Negative Commandments

Name the greatest threat to world peace and security in these times.” A straightforward challenge with a fairly predictable response — or so one would think.

The Chofetz Chaim offers his own insight into what causes destruction. His answer is the real answer, because terrorists and evil regimes are powerless unless Hashem allows them to carry out their evil plans. And it is we, the Jewish people, whose actions determine what will be decided in Heaven.

The Mishnah states: “Know what is above you (— an Eye that sees, an Ear that hears …).” R’ Chaim Volozhiner offered an original explanation: Know that whatever happens Above is because of you. It is our actions and words on this earth that determine whether the world will earn Hashem’s mercy or the opposite, G-d forbid.

In today’s segment, the Chofetz Chaim states:

Whoever spreads gossip about his fellow Jews is guilty of a lo sa’aseh (negative prohibition), as it is written, “Do not go as a gossipmonger among your people.” What is a gossipmonger? One who brings reports from one person to another, saying, “This is what So-and-so said about you, this what I have heard that So-and so did to you …” Though the report is true, he is destroying the world.

As mentioned above (Day 3), when Jews speak evil of each other, this gives the Satan the ability to speak evil of the Jewish people before Hashem. The result, says Zohar, is death and destruction in this world. When the Chofetz Chaim writes “he is destroying the world,” he means it in a very literal sense.

The Chofetz Chaim lists the other primary mitzvah that deals with lashon hara “Do not accept a false report,” which, our Sages teach, also includes the sin of speaking lashon.

To refrain from speaking lashon hara can be a very great test. The test of not listening to lashon hara can be even greater. It is very easy and can be very tempting to sit back and listen as someone tells a funny story about someone that makes the person appear foolish.

At Mount Sinai, Hashem declared that by accepting the Torah we would become a “kingdom of priests and a holy nation.” Through Torah, we are to become noble, refined, exceptional individuals, people whom other nations will look up to and admire.

To become such a person, a Jew must carefully guard the two pathways to his neshamah, his eyes and his ears. He must not view what is forbidden and he must not listen to what is forbidden. And he must carefully guard his power of speech, which defines his essence as a human being.

IN A NUTSHELL
The sins of speaking and listening to lashon hara are stated explicitly in the Torah and bring death and destruction to the world.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Preface (continued)

From verses in Tanach and teachings found in the Gemara, we see how important it is to correct bad midos. Anger is compared to idol worship, and we are told to be kind and compassionate. Yet, there is no mitzvah in the Torah that specifically prohibits us from showing anger or cruelty.

R’ Chaim Vital, famed talmid of the holy Arizal, explained that the Torah does not include avoiding anger and cruelty as part of the 613 mitzvos because developing good midos precedes the mitzvos. Good midos are the foundation of Torah. Without good midos, it is impossible to observe the mitzvos properly and to be elevated by them.

Yet, Hashem did see fit to include not one but two prohibitions against speaking lashon hara as part of the 613 mitzvos.1 This, says the Chofetz Chaim, underscores what we have already said, that lashon hara is more damaging than other forms of bad behavior. Evil speech is terribly damaging to the people who are the victims of such talk and terribly damaging to the Jewish people as a whole, for it empowers the Satan in a way that other sins do not.

There is another reason, says the Chofetz Chaim, why Hashem saw fit to include two mitzvos lo sa’aseh in the Torah against speaking lashon hara. Through speaking lashon hara, a person can transgress virtually every mitzvah in the Torah that is bein adam lachaveiro (between man and his fellow)! And he can also transgress quite a number of mitzvos bein adam laMakom (between man and Hashem). No wonder Talmud Yerushalmi states that just as the study of Torah equals all others mitzvos combined, the sin of lashon hara equals all other sins combined!

In Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, the Chofetz Chaim offers his own explanation of Talmud Yerushalmi’s statement. Mitzvos other than Torah study are physical in nature. For tzitzis, one dons a garment, a lulav is held in one’s hand, a shofar is blown, etc.

Targum Onkelos translates “And man became a living being” as “And man became a speaking spirit.” The power of speech is a function of the neshamah. (This is why animals cannot speak.) Torah study, in which the power of speech is used, is a “neshamah mitzvah.” This is why it equals all other mitzvos combined.

And speaking lashon hara is a “neshamah aveirah.” This is why it equals all sins combined.

In the lessons that follow, the Chofetz Chaim will list the 31 mitzvos that one can possibly be guilty of when speaking lashon hara.

Sefer Chofetz Chaim is a book of laws. The Chofetz Chaim saw fit to list these 31 mitzvos as an introduction to these laws, so that we will approach the study of this sefer with an understanding that we are about to embark on a journey of utmost importance.

Living by the laws of Sefer Chofetz Chaim can change a person’s life, in this world and the next.

IN A NUTSHELL:
The sin of lashon hara is equal to all sins combined and can cause one to transgress many, many mitzvos.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Preface

Our opening lesson spoke of Hashem’s deep love for every Jew. In this lesson, the Chofetz Chaim quotes the verse “‘I love you,’ says Hashem … ” and he describes the various ways by which Hashem refers to His beloved people: “My children, My portion, My inheritance.” It is obvious that, indeed, Hashem loves us very, very much.

It is because Hashem loves us so much that He cautions us to rid ourselves of bad midos. Evil habits such as speaking lashon hara lead to quarreling and bitterness. A home that is free of lashon hara and rechilus (evil speech that causes bad feelings between people) is a happy, peaceful home — and Hashem wants very much that we should be happy.

Some people derive pleasure from speaking lashon hara. Those who live by the laws of shemiras halashon and carefully guard their tongues know that the pleasure of refraining from evil talk far outweighs
the fleeting pleasure of relating an exciting piece oflashon hara. This is in addition to the spiritual reward for refraining from lashon hara, of which the Vilna Gaon (quoting the Midrash) said: “even Heavenly angels cannot fathom it.”

The complete verse in which the Torah forbids Lashon reads, “You shall not be a gossipmonger among your people, you shall not stand aside while your fellow’s blood is shed — I am Hashem.” The second part of the verse teaches that we are obligated to try to rescue someone’s life if we possibly can, and if we don’t try, then we have sinned.

What is the connection between the two halves of this verse? The Chofetz Chaim explains: Lashon hara can be deadly, like shedding blood. As an example, he cites the story of Doeg HaAdomi, whose slander resulted in the murder of an entire city of Kohanim.

While such cases are extreme, lashon hara can and has destroyed lives in a different sense. Families, friendships and entire communities have been ruined because of lashon hara and the bad feelings that it caused.
In fact, the Chofetz Chaim’s son, R’ Aryeh Leib, wrote that this is what impelled his father to author this sefer. In his words:
It seems to me that one particular episode aroused my father’s pure spirit to compose this work. When he was about twenty-four years old, a dispute erupted in our town between some members of the community and the rav. Ultimately, the rav was forced to leave the town and took a position elsewhere. As I recall, the rav passed away a few years later. It was said in our town that within a few years, the rav’s opponents fell victim to Divine punishment on this world.
It was not long after this that my father involved himself with the study and writing of the laws of lashon hara.

IN A NUTSHELL
Living by the laws of shemiras halashon is the key to a peaceful, happy home and life.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

We live in a world where, unfortunately, falsehood is all too common. Advertising, which is a multibillion-dollar industry, often tries to convince people that products of poor quality are the best that money can buy. Politicians running for office will say anything that can get them elected. To exaggerate in order to make a point is accepted as normal.
This is not the Torah way. The Chofetz Chaim was exceptional in his midas ha’emes, quality of truth, both in how he lived and how he spoke. It was only natural, then, that when writing his very first sefer, Chofetz Chaim, he would be exceptionally careful in choosing the right words for each halachah.
In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim tells us how careful he was:
Every paragraph of this sefer has been carefully researched (together with friends who are gedolei Torah). I searched again and again to make sure that nothing contradicts anything in Shas. Many times, I concentrated on one point for many days until, with Hashem’s help, I clarified the matter according to Torah truth.
My hope to Hashem is that a reader who will examine each halachah carefully will see that we were exact with every word in this sefer … Whoever will judge me favorably will be judged by Hashem the same way.
One of the great Torah giants of the previous generation, Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky, made a fascinating statement regarding the writings of the Chofetz Chaim: Because the Chofetz Chaim was exceptionally careful with his words in daily life (and perhaps also because he taught the Jewish nation to be very careful in matters of speech), he merited a special siyata diShmaya (assistance from Heaven). We know that the writings of the Rishonim (Early Commentators) are very precise. Every word is measured and requires careful study. R’ Yaakov wrote that the Chofetz Chaim’s works were written with this kind of precision and we should measure each one of his words very carefully.

The Midrash tells us that if a Jew toils to study the laws of a particular sin, then Hashem will reward him by weakening his yetzer hara for that sin. Thus, says the Chofetz Chaim, learning these laws will weaken a person’s desire to speak lashon hara. Once a person controls his speech a bit, as time goes on he will learn to control it more and more until he has mastered the great quality of shemiras halashon.

If someone makes an effort to improve, then he is granted siyata diShmaya to accomplish his goal. When we study Sefer Chofetz Chaim, we are making an effort to improve our speech. Hashem will surely assist us in our efforts, and with time we will feel the joy and satisfaction of using the gift of speech only for the good.

IN A NUTSHELL

Every word of Sefer Chofetz Chaim was written with exacting precision. Studying these laws qill weaken our desire to speak lashon hara.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

Some may claim, says the Chofetz Chaim, that it is better not to study these halachos. They might say: “Don’t our Sages teach that it is better to let someone sin unintentionally than to point out his error, if you are sure that he will continue to sin in any case?1 So why learn the laws of lashon hara? Everyone knows that it is nearly impossible to avoid speaking lashon hara — unless you want to be a hermit and not speak to anyone!”

The Chofetz Chaim convincingly refutes this claim with the following points:

The rule that one should not try to correct someone who will definitely ignore the rebuke does not apply to a sin that is stated explicitly in the Torah. Since the Torah explicitly prohibits lashon hara, we are required to alert everyone to the gravity of this sin.

The Gemara states that no one is innocent of the sin of avak lashon hara (statements that either hint to lashon hara or might lead to lashon hara). The Chofetz Chaim states that this is only said of the average person. However, someone who studies the laws of lashon hara and strives to live by them can avoid even avak lashon hara. It is reasonable to assume that the Chofetz Chaim was speaking from experience; he was so knowledgeable of the halachos and so careful to apply them that he probably avoided even avak lashon hara at all times.

At the very least, studying these halachos will ensure that we will not be in the category of a baal lashon hara, someone with a loose tongue who has no regard for the mitzvah of shemiras halashon and speaks whatever comes to mind. Our Sages state that such a person’s evil speech is equivalent to the Three Cardinal Sins (idol worship, immorality, and murder) and that he will not merit to greet the Shechinah.

We may add one more point. Shemiras halashon should not be seen as something difficult, which we do because Hashem has not given us a choice. We can apply to shemiras halashon what the Mishnah says regarding Torah study: “If you do this” you will have the best of both this world and the World to Come.

What does the expression “If you do this” imply?

Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian explained: If someone were to ask you, “I’ve never tasted wine in my life — what does wine taste like?” you might respond, “Well, it’s a little sweet and a little sour.” Of course, this tells the questioner very little. There is only one way to really know what wine tastes like — by tasting it.

Similarly, there is only one way to understand how beautiful life can be when one lives without luxury while devoting himself to Torah study: “If you do this …”

And only one who lives by the rules of shemiras halashon and carefully avoids lashon hara can truly appreciate how wonderful life is when we speak only good of our fellow man.

IN A NUTSHELL
We are required to learn the laws of shemiras halashon and can surely live by them, if we will only try.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

Such great Torah personalities as the Brisker Rav and Rav Aharon Kotler marveled at the Chofetz Chaim’s greatness in Torah. They felt that his tzidkus, outstanding piety, caused people to overlook his ge’onus, genius in Torah. When we open his works on halachah, Sefer Chofetz Chaim and Sefer Mishnah Berurah, we gain a bit of insight into how wide-ranging his knowledge was. We also gain insight into the Chofetz Chaim’s ameilus, his incredible effort in searching for every source of every law, leaving no stone unturned in his quest to clarify the halachah.

In today’s segment, the Chofetz Chaim writes:

Therefore [i.e. because of the many misconceptions people have regarding lashon hara] I have gathered my strength, with the help of Hashem, to compile all the laws of lashon hara and rechilus in a single sefer. I gathered these laws from wherever they are scattered through Shas and the poskim (codifiers) — especially the Rambam, Smag and Sefer Shaarei Teshuvah by Rabbeinu Yonah, z”l, who show us the way in these halachos …
I have called the sefer “Chofetz Chaim,” based on the verse” Who is the man who desires life, who loves days of seeing good? Guard your tongue from evil …” (Tehillim 34:13-14)

Each section of Sefer Chofetz Chaim is comprised of two sub-sections: the halachos, which the Chofetz Chaim named Mekor Chaim(Source of Life), and the sources of the halachos, which he named Be’er Mayim Chaim(The Wellsprings of Water of Life).

The Chofetz Chaim did not choose these names at random. When the first man was created and Hashem blew life into him, the Torah states, “And man became a living being”, which Targum translates as “a speaking being.”

What defines us as human beings is our power of speech. This is what distinguishes us from animals and all other creatures. To whatever degree we refine our way of speaking, we have given more meaning to our humanity. A person who uses his power of speech to lie, make fun of others, speak badly of others or for vulgar language is lowering his level of humanity. It is, in a sense, as if he is saying, “I’m really not much different than the other creatures of this world.”

Let us be careful how we speak so that we will be more elevated, spiritual and happy people.

IN A NUTSHELL
Sefer Chofetz Chaim is truly a “source of life,” because the power of speech is what defines us as human being.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

We have already demonstrated that lashon hara is one of the worst sins that a Jew can commit, that it causes enormous harm in Heaven, that it had the power to destroy the Beis HaMikdash and send us into exile.

Then why, asks the Chofetz Chaim, are so many people not careful about speaking and listening to lashon hara?

He answers: People who are unlearned simply do not know the facts. They mistakenly think that if the information being said is true, then it is not lashon hara.

Of course, this is a terrible mistake. We are not allowed to speak negatively about anyone even when we are absolutely certain that the information is true. (If it is false information, then the speaker would be guilty of hotza’as shem ra, slander, which is even worse than common lashon hara).

What about learned people, who do know the basic rules of shemiras halashon?

The yetzer hara is very clever. He has ways of getting anyone, including learned Jews, to sin. This is how he does it:

“Him? It’s not lashon hara to speak about him. That man is thoroughly evil, he’s always involved in machlokes (disputes)! It’s actually a mitzvah to speak against him!”

“Yes, he’s a good person, but what did I say wrong? He’s not that bright … so what? I didn’t say that he’s a bad person!”

In the Chofetz Chaim’s words: “The yetzer hara works on two fronts. Either he convinces the person that the statement is not at all lashon hara, or that the sin of lashon hara does not apply when speaking about that individual.”

And if these tactics do not succeed, the yetzer hara has one more weapon in his arsenal. “You’re not going to speak lashon hara? Well, then, I guess you plan to be a hermit for the rest of your life. There is no way that you can live among people and socialize without speaking lashon hara.”

This statement is patently false. Rather than cause a person to become a hermit, shemiras halashon is what permits us to speak. Once a person becomes knowledgeable in these all-important laws, he knows what he may and may not say in conversation.

The Chofetz Chaim concludes that the situation in his days (before he wrote his sefer) was sad indeed. Many people did not see lashon hara as a sin at all. If someone tried to stop such a person from degrading another Jew, the response might have been, “What are you trying to do — make me into some sort of tzaddik?”

The Chofetz Chaim was determined to change this terrible situation.

IN A NUTSHELL

The Satan has clever ways of convincing good people to transgress the terribly destructive sin of lashon hara.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

We live in very difficult times. How great is our yearning for the coming of Mashiach and the rebuilding of the Beis HaMikdash, when our nation’s suffering will end! The question is: What can we do to make this happen?

A lot, says the Chofetz Chaim, for it is within our power to end this galus.

The Gemara teaches that the primary sin that led to the destruction of the Second Beis HaMikdash was sinas chinam, baseless hatred among Jews. The Chofetz Chaim says that hatred alone would not have caused the Churban. The Gemara must be referring to hatred and the lashon hara that it brought about. And, if the sin of lashon hara brought us into galus, surely it has the power to keep us there.

Furthermore, says the Chofetz Chaim, it was following an episode involving lashon hara that Hashem decreed exile upon His beloved people.

The Torah states that when the Meraglim (Spies) returned from their mission in Eretz Yisrael with a slanderous report, the Jews were punished by having to remain in the Wilderness for forty years. The Gemara teaches that they were punished in another way as well:

R’ Yochanan said: This day [when they returned with their report] was Erev Tishah B’Av [and the people cried that night after hearing the report]. HaKadosh Baruch Hu said: ‘You wept for no reason. I will establish this night for you as a time of weeping for all generations.’”

Thus, because of the Spies’ lashon hara, the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash and our nation’s exile were decreed.

The Chofetz Chaim makes another important point, which we will now elaborate on.

Receiving a blessing from a tzaddik is something very special. A tzaddik’s words have great power in Heaven, and therefore his blessings are eagerly sought.

Far greater than a tzaddik’s blessing is a blessing received directly from Hashem. No one would intentionally do something that might cause him to squander such a blessing — or so it would seem.

The Torah states: “Cursed is the one who attacks his neighbor in secrecy.”3 This refers to one who “attacks” his neighbor secretly by speaking lashon hara about him.4 Says the Chofetz Chaim, “How can the berachos of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, which we yearn for, come to rest upon us when, to our misfortune, we are in the habit of committing this sin?”

So the next time you are tempted to speak lashon hara, think to yourself, “Hashem loves me and wants to shower me with berachah, and I certainly want to receive His berachah. I had better guard my tongue — there is too much at stake.”

IN A NUTSHELL
The key to ending this galus and to meriting Hashem’s infinite blessings is to eradicate the sins of sinas chinam and lashon hara.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction

The Chofetz Chaim begins his magnificent work on the laws of shemiras halashon (guarding one’s speech) by summarizing our purpose in life. Hashem separated us from the other nations, gave us His precious Torah, and brought us to the holy land of Eretz Yisrael so that we could become a holy people by keeping His mitzvos (commandments). “His intention is entirely for our good,” says the Chofetz Chaim, “for by living a Torah life, we make ourselves deserving of Hashem’s kindness, in this world and the next. “

Hashem loves us very, very much, – more than we can imagine. Therefore, He gave us the 613 mitzvos, 613 precious gifts through which we we are able to draw close to Hashem and earn His blessings. And, says the Chofetz Chaim, Hashem has shown us His love in another important way:

If a person gives someone a gift and then sees that the recipient fails to appreciate what he has been given, the donor may take the gift back. Hashem, however, takes a different approach. In His great love for us, He seeks ways to awaken us to teshuvah (repentance) so that we can continue to earn His great blessings. Therefore, throughout the period of the first Beis HaMikdash (Holy Temple), Hashem sent nevi’im (prophets), who told our ancestors what they were doing wrong and guided them along the path of teshuvah.

Eventually, due to our sins, Hashem had no choice but to banish us from our land. However, He stands ready to redeem us, if only we will correct the sins that led to our exile.

We can accomplish this by focusing on how much Hashem loves us. In Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, the Chofetz Chaim offers a powerful mashal(parable):

Reuven and Shimon are involved in a bitter dispute. One day, someone approaches Reuven and says, “You know, the other day I saw one of the Torah giants of our time showing great love and respect for Shimon.”
Reuven is surprised, to say the least. However, he is not convinced. Perhaps Shimon is a top-notch faker, so that he can trick even the leaders of the generation into thinking that he is a tzaddik!
Then someone tells Reuven, “I saw the great Tanna Rabi Yehudah HaNasi showing great love and admiration for Shimon.” Another man approaches Reuven and says, “I heard Eliyahu HaNavi say that he heard Hashem saying that He loves Shimon very much.”
“Woe is me!” Reuven cries. “How wrong I’ve been about Shimon!”

Hashem loves every Jew with a deep, unconditional love. How, then, can we dislike or speak against any Jew? Is it possible to hate the person Hashem loves?

IN A NUTSHELL
We must focus on how much Hashem loves each and every one of us, and how He yearns, as it were, to return us to our Land and rebuild the Beis HaMikdash.

-A project of Mesorah Publications –

Hilchos Rechilus — conclusion

After completing his discussion of shidduchim, the Chofetz Chofetz concludes his masterpiece with the following:

It was my intention to offer other illustrations, regarding craftsmen, hired laborers and servants. However, because of the high cost of printing and my preoccupation with other matters at this time, I have refrained from doing so.

The general rule is: One needs to maintain a careful watch over his own behavior, especially the words that he utters. He should not become involved in matters bein adam la’chaveiro without first clarifying the facts thoroughly. His intention should be to accomplish something constructive, and he should not act out of hatred. He should ponder the results that his words will cause, so that nothing will occur that is contrary to halachah, G-d forbid. If he does so, Hashem will assist him so that he will not be ensnared in the yetzer hara’s trap.

May the Rock of Israel save us from any errors and show us the wonders of His Torah. Blessed is Hashem forever, amen v’amen.

The Chofetz Chaim mentions the high cost of printing. In Rabbi Moshe Yoshor’s biography of the Chofetz Chaim, he writes that the Chofetz Chaim borrowed 1,000 rubles for the printing of the first edition of Sefer Chofetz Chaim. To ensure that he would be able to repay these loans, he traveled to towns in the vicinity of his hometown, Radin, and obtained signatures of 1,000 subscribers who would purchase the sefer upon its publication.

Thus, we see that it was with great mesiras nefesh that the Chofetz Chaim published this work.

Yet, he took no credit for Sefer Chofetz Chaim and its companion work, Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, publishing them anonymously. In his memoirs, the Chofetz Chaim’s son, R’ Aryeh Leib, wrote:

I once asked my father why he published Sefer Chofetz Chaim anony­mously. He replied, “It was not in my merit that these works came to be published; it was in the collective merit of the Jewish people. For per­haps through the study of these works, we will see a diminishing of the sin of lashon hara, which caused the death of the Dor HaMidbar, the destruction of the second Beis HaMikdash, and our dispersion among the gentiles. Thus, the honor for publishing this work is not mine.”

R’ Aryeh Leib also wrote of his father’s personal caution in matters of speech:

With regard to shemiras halashon, it is my feeling that my father sur­passed his entire generation. Most incredible was the fact that he was not a man who refrained from talking, and he was the main speaker at every gathering. No one ever claimed to have heard my father say something improper or derogatory.

Let us resolve to remain talmidim of the Chofetz Chaim all our lives by reviewing his teachings again and again, and striving to live by them. In this way, we will live happier and more spiritual lives, and will play an important role in ending this galus through the coming of Mashiach, speedily and in our times.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

Hilchos Rechilus — Closing Illustrations (continued)

The Chofetz Chaim continues his discussion of shidduchim. In this segment, he discusses financial arrangements. As in any other agreement between two sides, both the chasan’s and kallah’s

families must honor any financial commitments that were made prior to the engagement.

What if someone knows that one side cannot or will not honor his commitment? If the engagement has not yet taken place, one would be allowed to reveal this information, if the five conditions listed in Day 107 have been met. If the couple is already engaged, then one can only reveal the information if the result will not be contrary to halachah. If the party will react by immediately breaking the shidduch without having someone speak to the other side or without consulting a rav, then the information should not be provided.

Too many partnerships have been destroyed and friendships ruined by well-meaning people who incited one side against the other.

The firm of Stellman and Stone had been in business for thirty years, and was one of the most solid, successful businesses of its kind. Then, one day, Chaim Stellman was approached by a good friend, Arnie Manfeld.

“Chaim, someone told me that the profits in your business are divided 55-45 with Norman (Stone) taking the larger share. Is that correct?”

“Well, yes, that was our agreement when we first started the business. You see, we started the firm with Norman’s money and he is the smarter businessman. We agreed

from the start that I would be a junior partner.”

“Chaim, what’s the matter with you? That was thirty years ago! By now, you should be an equal partner. Don’t let Stone cheat you out of what’s rightfully yours.”

Until that day, the two partners had been close friends and their business relationship was one of mutual respect. From that day on, things changed. Incited by his friend Arnie, Chaim demanded to be an equal partner. Norman turned down the request, though he felt bad and tried his best to explain his position. After two months of haggling, the two partners were no longer on speaking terms. Six months later, the partnership was dissolved.

While the above story is fiction, similar stories have actually happened. It is crucial that Jews be well versed in the laws of lashon hara and rechilus and make sure that their conversation is guided by these laws.

IN A NUTSHELL
Extreme caution must be exercised when offering negative information to a party in a partnership.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

Hilchos Rechilus — Closing Illustrations (continued)

It is remarkable that the verse which begins “Do not go as a gossipmonger among your people” concludes with “Do not stand by as your brother’s blood is being shed.”

In its plain meaning, this second prohibition forbids us to stand by idly when we see that a Jew’s life is in danger.

Obviously if the Torah placed this prohibition in the very same verse as the primary prohibition against speaking lashon hara and rechilus, there must be some connection between them. Earlier in this sefer, the Chofetz Chaim explained that rechilus can “kill” three: the speaker, the listener, and the subject. The Torah is telling us: “Don’t cause your brother’s blood to be spilled by speaking evil of him.”

We know that a single verse of the Torah can be interpreted in a variety of ways. In today’s segment, the Chofetz Chaim sees a completely different connection between “Do not go as a gossipmonger among your people” and “Do not stand by as your brother’s blood is being shed.” The Torah is telling us that although speaking lashon hara is usually a terrible, destructive sin, there are times when one must speak lashon hara, in order to prevent someone from being harmed. In these situations, if one chooses to remain silent, he will have transgressed the sin of standing by idly while his fellow Jew’s blood is being spilled.

For example: A couple is engaged or on the verge of becoming engaged, and one knows that the chasan has a serious internal illness of which the kallah’s family is unaware; or, one knows firsthand that the chasan, who gives the appearance of being a G-d-fearing Jew, is actually an apikores (non-believer). In these cases, one is obligated to relate the information. If one chooses to remain silent so that the marriage takes place and the kallah’s life is ruined, then he is guilty of “Do not stand by as your brother’s blood is being shed.”

Of course, the same would apply if one knows such information about the kallah.

If someone is seeking a shidduch for his daughter and inquires about a certain young man’s level of learning, then those who are asked are required to respond honestly. However, if the family did not make any inquiries, one should not offer such information. If it was really important that their daughter marry a talmid chacham, the parents would have investigated the matter properly on their own.

The following actually happened:

A few teenage classmates were engaged in light conversation. One of them said, “You know, I heard that our rebbi’s sister has a heart condition.” Later, that sister was suggested as a possible shidduch for a brother of one of those boys. The boy told his parents, “I don’t think you should consider this suggestion. I heard she has a heart condition.” The parents accepted their son’s report as fact and called off the shidduch.

Later, it was discovered that this young woman did not have a heart condition. She had been congested one day, and was panting for breath. Someone assumed that her shortness of breath indicated a

heart problem and that person carelessly “spread the word.”

Yes, lashon hara can be very destructive, especially in sensitive matters such as shidduchim.

IN A NUTSHELL

There are times when one should offer negative information about a shidduch without being asked, and there are times when one should remain silent.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

Hilchos Rechilus — Closing Illustrations (continued)

The Chofetz Chaim now moves on to the important and sensitive topic of shidduchim. He states what, on the surface, seems a simple halachah:

The Radomers are considering Yossi Gerdman as a match for their daughter. They are very excited by the information they have heard and are on the verge of arranging a meeting. Mr. Radomer’s close friend, Mr. Backston, is aware of this and is concerned. He knows something that the Radomers don’t know — Yossi is very hot-tempered, which, of course, can be very detrimental to the success of a marriage. He knows with certainty that if the Radomers would know this information, they would never consider Yossi for their daughter.

Mr. Backston is obligated to share this information with the Radomers.

However, the Chofetz Chaim cautions that sometimes, what some consider glaring faults are, in fact, qualities to be admired. In his words:

One must be very careful not to act shamefully by speaking negatively about a shidduch prospect when there is no basis for this. For example, sometimes the young man is a sincere, innocent type, who is not sharp enough to recognize the shrewdness and sneakiness of others; or, he does not want to sit with others his age and ridicule people as some are wont to do. Therefore, they speak of him in town as a total fool, and as a result, people do not want to consider him for their daughters; if he is engaged, his future in-laws might consider breaking the shidduch …

May Hashem cut off all lips of smooth talk! Not only are these people baalei lashon hara, they are also baalei motzi shem ra (slanderers), since their criticisms are false.

The Chofetz Chaim labels such slanderers machti’ei harabbim, those who cause many to sin. No one wants to be ridiculed, so good, sincere people often feel compelled to adopt this loud, mocking style so that they will be treated with honor, not scorn. Initially they do this out of fear, but eventually they become used to this type of behavior and it becomes part of their very nature.

The Chofetz Chaim advises us to keep far away from the coarse individuals who are the cause of such behavior. He cites a verse in Mishlei: “My child, if sinners entice you, do not consent … do not walk on the road with them; restrain your foot from their pathway.” He also cites a mishnah: “Better to be called a fool all one’s life, rather than be consid­ered wicked for a moment before Hashem.”

In the opening chapter of Mesilas Yesharim, Rabbi Moshe ChaimLuzzato tells us what this world is really all about.

Hashem has placed man in a world where there are many factors thatcan distance a person from Him … Man is truly placed in the midst ofa raging battle, for all things in this world, whether for good or for bad,are tests for a person.

One of the greatest tests a person can face is peer pressure. Whenpeople who are popular and influential are behaving in a certain way,the temptation to act like them can be exceedingly strong. “I want to be liked and respected. I want to belong and to be part of the crowd. And Icertainly do not want to be looked down upon or, worse yet, ridiculed.”

It is at such times that one must take to heart the mishnah the Chofetz Chaim cites: “Better to be called a fool all one’s life, rather than be considered wicked for one moment before Hashem.”

IN A NUTSHELL

Faults that are clearly relevant should be revealed, but beware of revealing “faults” which, in fact, are not faults at all.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

Hilchos Rechilus — Closing Illustrations

The Chofetz Chaim concludes his sefer with a number of illustrations of the laws of rechilus.

The first is where someone you know contemplates a business partnership with a person whom he considers honest and capable. However, you know that the person is dishonest and is careless when he is investing other people’s money. In this case, you would be correct — and, in fact, obligated — to advise your friend not to enter into this partnership, provided that the five conditions in Day 107 have been met.

However, the Chofetz Chaim points out that sometimes it would be a serious mistake to interfere.

Hershel is troubled. His good friend Danny is on the verge of opening a business with Noach as his partner. But Danny does not know that Noach had been partners in a different business until six months ago, when the stock market crash brought his business crashing down as well.

“Noach’s fortunes have taken a downward turn,” Hershel is thinking. “I wouldn’t join him in a busi­ness venture right now — and I don’t think Danny should either. I’d better warn him.”

In such a case, says the Chofetz Chaim, it would be a great sin to reveal the information to Danny. The fact that Noach’s business has collapsed through no fault of his own does not indicate in any way that he will not be successful in the future. To the contrary, perhaps now Hashem will have mercy upon him and he will succeed. The Chofetz Chaim also notes that the highest form of tzedakah is to help a person be self-supporting;1 going into partnership with Noach can grant him the livelihood he des­perately needs. And, as stated in Shulchan Aruch, one cannot lose from fulfilling the mitzvah of tzedakah.

If the partnership is already a reality, then, as mentioned above, even if Hershel knows that Noach is dishonest or reckless, he would only be allowed to reveal this if Danny will take the matter before a beis din and not dissolve the partnership on his own.

The Chofetz Chaim then offers a scenario where Hershel has other intentions.

Hershel’s friend Danny is desperate. In the past five years, he has tried his hand at five different businesses, and all of them failed miserably

— for good reason. Danny simply does not have good business sense. He buys poor merchandise at inflated prices, and he misses countless opportunities to buy top-quality items at rock-bottom prices.

Now, Danny wants to try his hand at a new business, but he needs a partner who will supply the capital for this venture. Anyone who knows of Danny and his business career would never consider such a partnership.

But Noach does not know Danny at all. Hershel, who feels very bad for Danny, decides to convince Noach, who has plenty of money, to become Danny’s partner.

It is forbidden for Hershel to suggest the partnership to Noach. If he does, then he has transgressed “And before a blind person do not place a stumbling block” which prohibits us from misleading others.

IN A NUTSHELL

We must be extremely careful before suggesting that someone enter or not enter into a partnership with others.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 9:14-15

The Chofetz Chaim begins this segment with the following case:

Reuven was wronged in some way, and he does not know the culprit’s identity. He asks Shimon, “Who did this to me?” Though Shimon knows that Reuven suspects him, he is not allowed to reveal the cul­prit’s identity even if he witnessed the act. All he can respond is, “I didn’t do it.”

Of course, in a case where the five conditions of Day 107 have been met, Shimon would be permitted to reveal the person’s identity.

The Chofetz Chaim cautions: If the leaders of a community vote on a certain issue and someone in the community is upset with the outcome, it is forbidden for any of the leaders to tell him, “Don’t blame me — I voted against it, but majority rules.” This is rechilus, for it may allow the person to deduce who voted in favor, and he will feel anger towards them.

Such votes should be kept confidential.

The Chofetz Chaim then bemoans a tragic situation that should never happen:

A peddler brings merchandise to town and many are interested in purchasing his wares. One man picks out an item he wishes to buy and tells the peddler, “I don’t have any money with me. Please put this aside and don’t sell it to anyone. I’m going home to get money.” The peddler agrees to hold the merchandise for him.

The customer returns with his money later that day. The peddler tells him, “So-and-so came along and begged me to sell him that item. I didn’t want to, but he was so insistent; he threw the money on the counter, and practically forced me to sell it to him. I didn’t want to get into a fight with him so I gave in and let him buy it.”

Assuming the peddler’s account is true, he would still have been guilty of speaking rechilus. The sale was a valid sale and nothing is to be gained from telling the original customer the name of the person who wrongfully took the merchandise.

The Chofetz Chaim notes that in many such situations, the peddler is not telling the truth. He sold the item willingly for a better price, but rather than admit it, he places the blame upon the customer.

It would even be forbidden for the peddler to say, “I sold it to So-and­so, and it’s my fault. I knew he would give me more money, so I didn’t tell him that I already agreed to sell it to you.” The Chofetz Chaim says that even in this case, the original customer may feel ill will towards the man who bought what rightfully should have been his.

IN A NUTSHELL

Secrets ballots should remain secret.

When someone is upset over losing a purchase, do not tell him the purchaser’s name.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 9:13

In Day 109 we learned that one is permitted to tell someone he was cheated only if that person will not react by doing something contrary to halachah. In the case of Shaya and “Shakran’s Clothing,” (Days 111-112), one can inform Shaya that he was cheated only if he knows Shaya to be a G-d-fearing Jew, who would take a disagreement over money to beis din and not take the law into his own hands.

The Chofetz Chaim bemoans the fact that some do not follow the above guidelines.

Ezra is driving a 2005 Honda out of the “Incredible Used Cars” lot. “I don’t believe it,” Aaron thinks to himself. “He bought a used car from that thief, Moe Sandal? I have no doubt that Moe cheated him. He probably picked up the car in some junk yard and painted it to make it look good.”

That night after Maariv, Aaron approaches Ezra and says, “So how much did you pay for that Honda?”

“$9,000.”

“I was afraid you’d say something like that,” Aaron replied. “I doubt the car is worth more than $5,000. Did you already pay in full?”

“No, only half. I’m supposed to pay the rest over the next few months.”

“Well then, you’re in good shape. Give Moe another $500 and tell him that you heard from an expert that the car is only worth $5,000. If he doesn’t like that — well, too bad.”

The Chofetz Chaim mentions that in many instances, people give such advice purely out of hatred. Aaron may have had some previous dispute with Moe and is eager to “even the score.” He has no right to assume that the car is not worth the price, and he certainly is wrong for suggesting that Ezra withhold payment without taking the matter before a beis din.

The Chofetz Chaim enumerates Aaron’s “accomplishments”:

• He has spoken rechilus.

• He has transgressed “And before a blind person do not place a stumbling block.” With these words, the Torah cautions us not to cause others to sin. Aaron has caused Ezra to sin by inciting him to act in a way that is contrary to halachah.

• He has caused a machlokes which undoubtedly will lead to transgression of “And you shall not aggrieve one another, “which is the sin of “Ona’as Devarim” causing pain through hurtful words; and a host of other sins that machlokes brings about.

The Chofetz Chaim concludes:

How careful one must be not to become involved in such matters with­out first carefully considering all that we have written above. If he will act accordingly, Hashem will assist him so that no mishap will come about through him.

IN A NUTSHELL

Those who advise others to break agreements without going to beis din are guilty of numerous sins.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 9:11-12

Returning to the case of “Shakran’s Clothing”:

What if Shaya has already purchased the suit? Would Nachi be allowed to tell him that he was cheated?

The Chofetz Chaim explains:

If he [Shaya] already purchased the merchandise and the other person [Nachi] knows that he was cheated, either in the price or some defect in the merchandise, then it depends:

If according to halachah, the buyer is not entitled to any refund … then surely, whoever incites the buyer by showing how he was cheated has been guilty of speaking rechilus. [The reason is simple:] Since, according to halachah, he has no claim, informing the buyer that he has been cheated is mere prattling, like a typical gossiper who goes from place to place bringing information from one person to another.

Even if the buyer asks someone if he thinks he was cheated, the person should not tell him the truth. Surely it would be a great sin to convey such information, if he knows that the buyer will react by causing the seller a loss (either by seizing one of his possessions, or by withholding some of the money that he still owes).

However, if the person [Nachi] understands that halachah would grant the buyer either a partial or complete refund, and the buyer would want to claim this refund, then he must be told the truth, provided that:

• The person does not exaggerate the facts at all.

• His primary intention is to correct the wrong and get the buyer his money, and not to rejoice over the seller’s shame. On this note, it is important that the buyer be the kind of person who would actually take the seller to beis din to claim his money. If the buyer would not go to beis din and would just be angry at the seller, then he should not be told the truth even if he inquiries about it.

In a case where the buyer cannot claim anything in beis din, it is a mitzvah to praise the purchase in his presence. This is not a transgression of “Distance yourself from falsehood,” for, as our Sages state clear­ly, it is a mitzvah to make someone feel good and praise his purchase.

If it seems that he [Nachi] can convince the seller to refund the money; or, if there is any other way for him to get the buyer his refund without resorting to rechilus, he is required to do so.

The buyer should be someone who is not prone to speaking rechilus. Otherwise, we must be concerned that he will approach the seller and say, “So-and-so told me that I was cheated,” which would be rechilus. In such a case, it is questionable whether one would be allowed to inform the buyer, since by doing so he would cause him to speak rechi­lus. It would seem, says the Chofetz Chaim, that if the buyer will heed the warning, “Don’t tell him that I told you this!” then it is permitted to inform him that he was cheated.

IN A NUTSHELL

If a person has already been cheated and halachah entitles him to a refund, one is allowed to inform him, provided that he fulfills the necessary conditions.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 9:10

Shaya Forenberg is one of the nicest people you will ever meet; kind, honest, and utterly sincere. Shaya does not know what it means to fool someone. The problem is, he thinks that everyone is like him.

Ben Shakran of Shakran Clothing knows Shaya well. When Shaya’s son became engaged, Ben told him, “Shaya, come to me for your wedding suit. Because you’re my friend and you’re making a simchah, I’ll charge you half price.”

Shaya was overcome with gratitude. “I am short on money and I don’t know how to thank you. I’ll be at your store first thing in the morning.”

Ben did not realize that Nachi Cohen had overheard the conversation. Nachi knew the sad truth: Ben was not an honest salesman. He would say anything to convince a customer to make a purchase, including lying about the quality of his merchandise.

Nachi himself had almost been victimized by Ben. He was about to purchase a suit that was “on sale” for only $325, but something bothered him about the way the jacket looked. He decided to hold off on his purchase and stopped in at another suit store. He found the exact same suit, not on sale, with a $150 price tag. When he asked the proprietor why the price was so cheap, the man replied, “Because it’s not made well and that’s what the suit is worth.”

Nachi is certain that Shaya will believe anything Ben tells him. The “half-price special” Ben is offering is a hoax.

Nachi is obligated to warn Shaya not to shop in Ben’s store, despite the fact that Shaya has already agreed to buy his suit there.

If Nachi were to walk into Ben’s store and see that Shaya is about to buy a suit that is clearly not worth the price, he would be obligated to tell him not to buy it.

In all situations, Nachi must fulfill the five conditions listed in Day 107. One of those conditions is that the person has no other way to accomplish his goal other than to speak rechilus. In our example, Nachi might tell Shaya, “You know, Shaya, I overheard you talking to Ben about buying a suit for your daughter’s wedding. Take my advice, go to ‘Chatzkel’s’ for a suit. I’ve been buying my suits there for the past couple of years and I guarantee that you will be satisfied.” If Shaya accepts this suggestion, then Nachi will have accomplished his goal without resort­ing to speaking rechilus.

However, Shaya might naively reply: “No way! I’m not buying anywhere but ‘Ben’s.’ He’s my friend and he offered me a special half-price deal. I already told him I’m going to buy from him, and I’m not going back on my word!”

Left with no choice, Nachi would be allowed to enlighten Shaya con­cerning the truth of Ben’s “generous” offer.

IN A NUTSHELL

We are permitted to speak rechilus l’to’eles to prevent someone from being cheated, provided that we have fulfilled the five conditions.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 9:7-9

In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim stresses certain points relating to rechilus that seem quite obvious. Even if someone has robbed or cheated someone, it is permitted to relate this information to the victim only if the five conditions listed above have been fulfilled.

There is no difference whether the victim asks for a report of what happened, or if the witness volun­teers the information on his own. When there is true to’eles (constructive purpose) it is permitted to relate the information even if the victim has not inquired about it. If there is no to’eles, then it is forbidden to relate it even if the victim is insistent that he be told the information.

When there is no to’eles, then it is forbidden to speak rechilus even to a third party to whom the information is not relevant, as explained above in Day 91.

One may wonder why the Chofetz Chaim found it necessary to mention points that either have already been mentioned or that seem rather obvious. One reason may be that it is all too common for people to feel confident they are not saying anything forbidden when, in fact, they have not fulfilled the five conditions of to’eles and therefore are committing a sin.

There may be another factor that compelled the Chofetz Chaim to state the obvious. It is told that an elderly Jew from Radin who knew the Chofetz Chaim once remarked, “What is the difference between the Chofetz Chaim and me? I believe in Olam Haba and the Chofetz Chaim believes in Olam Haba. To me, Olam Haba is a distant reality, while to the Chofetz Chaim, Olam Haba is as real as the room next door. He sees it before his eyes.”

We know that the effects of lashon hara and rechilus in Heaven are devastating, far worse than that of other sins. This is something we believe. To the Chofetz Chaim, it was “as real as the room next door.” He saw the destructiveness before his eyes, and in his love for his fellow Jews, he cautions us about that which we might not have understood on our own.

Rabbi Aryeh Levin, famed tzaddik of Jerusalem a generation ago, related the following:

When I was young boy growing up in Lithuania, our town was visited one day by the holy Chofetz Chaim. I was in the town shul when the Chofetz Chaim was escorted inside for the first time. He noticed that the sign at the chazzan’s amud with the verse “Shvisi L’Hashem l’negdi tamid” (I set Hashem before me always) was charred at the edges from the smoke of the candles that burned at the amud. The Chofetz Chaim asked why the sign was not protected by glass. Someone responded, “For a long time we’ve wanted to put glass there, but the stubborn shamas refuses to listen to us!”

“Lashon hara!” the Chofetz Chaim exclaimed — and he ran out of the shul as if from a fire.

To the Chofetz Chaim, the damage caused by lashon hara and rechi­lus was no less than that caused by a raging fire.

IN A NUTSHELL

When there is no to’eles, we may not speak rechilus to anyone, for any reason.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 9:5-6

In Day 107, we discussed the case of Mr. Stein who was on the verge of hiring Kregler Construction to build an extension onto his home. Mr. Willenstein was permitted to warn Mr. Stein of Mr. Kregler’s dishonest business practices, provided that he fulfilled the five conditions of rechilus l’to’eles.

What if the contract has already been signed and work has already begun? Can Mr. Willenstein now inform Mr. Stein that Mr. Kregler is going to ask him for the balance of the money and then disappear for months without finishing the job? On the surface, it would seem so. Why not warn someone that he is dealing with a dishonest person so that he can take the necessary steps to protect himself?

Once again, the Chofetz Chaim advises us to proceed cautiously. Mr. Stein might react to the news by saying, “Thank you for warning me. If Mr. Kregler does ask me for the balance before he finishes the job, then I am going to have witnesses there when I make the payment and have him sign a document that the work will be completed within ten days from when the payment was made.” This would be an excellent strategy, and Mr. Willenstein would have done a mitzvah by forewarning Mr. Stein.

However, Mr. Stein’s reaction might be altogether different. “Thanks for the tip. As soon as Kregler asks me for the balance, I’ll fire him and find someone else to finish the job. No one’s gonna play games with me!”

This would be contrary to halachah. If a contract has already been signed for the entire job, neither party would have a right to break the contract without going before a beis din and presenting his arguments to them. Beis din would hear the claims of both parties and then determine who is right.

If Mr. Willenstein knows that Mr. Stein may act against halachah and break the contract without going to beis din, then he should not inform him of Mr. Kregler’s past history.

The Chofetz Chaim makes a very interesting point. Even if two valid witnesses know of Mr. Kregler’s dishonesty and know that beis din would allow Mr. Stein to break the contract, they would not be allowed to inform Mr. Stein if they know that he will break the contract without going to beis din. Since breaking the contract without beis din’s authorization is a sin, to inform Mr. Stein would be to aid a sinner.

There is a well-known story of a famous talmid chacham, whom we will call “R’ Dovid,” who became involved in a disagreement over money. The two sides agreed to go to a beis din to resolve the matter. Upon hearing the arguments of both sides, the av beis din arose, went to a bookcase, and withdrew a sefer written by none other than R’ Dovid. He turned to a certain page and showed R’ Dovid that in an identical case, R’ Dovid had ruled that the argument he himself had just put forth was incorrect!

R’ Dovid was honest and G-d-fearing. The problem is that when someone is personally involved in something, it is virtually impossible for him to see matters clearly; his reasoning will automatically bend in his own favor.

No one who signs a contract should ever break it without speaking to a rav or going to a beis din. Even if the person considers himself a talmid chacham, he should realize that his reasoning may be influenced by his personal interests. When it comes to money matters, there is simply too much room for error.

IN A NUTSHELL

One should not relate rechilus l’to’eles to someone who will act contrary to halachah and not take his case to beis din.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –