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Shmiras Haloshon
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    Sample Daily Q & A

    Day 109

    When the Vent Doesn’t End

    My friend “Faigie” composed a beautiful song for her children’s school melaveh malkah and worked with somebody else to turn it into an impressive video, giving the school her time and expertise for free.

    At the melaveh malkah, the school principal called up her partner and with lavish thanks gave her a nice gift – not even mentioning Faigie.

    Q:

    A:

    Faigie is really hurt, and keeps telling me how disgusted she is with the school and with her partner. Do I have to stop her from venting to me?

    Since emotional distress may not be shared without limit, try to do what you can to calm Faigie down (like empathizing with her while not judging her partner) so she stops venting.
    You should try to help her to see that the principal meant no harm, and it must have been a mistake. To really make shalom, you may even want to approach the principal, since most likely it was an oversight and she can apologize to Faigie.

    Reviewed by Rabbi Zev Smith.

    Actual halachic decisions should be made by a rav or halachic expert on a case-by-case basis.

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    © 2020 Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation

    © 2020 Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation