SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM —Hilchos Lashon Hara 10:13-14
In the previous segment, we learned that Yonason cannot publicize the wrong that was done to him by Mr. Stockman, because it is virtually impossible for his intentions to be completely pure. Here, the Chofetz Chaim notes a few exceptions:
Yonason knows that Mr. Stockman has great respect for Mr. Stern, who serves as president of their shul. He feels that if this gentleman would speak to Mr. Stockman about his shameful business practices, Stockman might be convinced to return the money he swindled from Yonason. In this case, Yonason would be permitted to speak to Mr. Stern.
Chaim walked out of shul one day wearing Rafi’s raincoat. It was three weeks before Chaim realized the mistake. Immediately, he rang Rafi’s doorbell, returned the coat and apologized profusely. But Rafi would not accept the apology. “What kind of shlemazel (ne’er-do-well) are you? It’s bad enough you took the coat — what took you so long to realize it’s not yours? My name is on the label! Can’t you read?”
That evening, between Minchah and Maariv, Rafi told two men about Chaim’s mistake. Chaim was very embarrassed. He fears that until Rafi finally calms down, he will tell others what happened and cause him further embarrassment. If Chaim tells the rav what is happening and the rav speaks to Rafi about it, Rafi will be embarrassed. Nevertheless, if this is the only way to get Rafi to stop shaming Chaim, Chaim is permitted to speak to the rav. In this case, as in the case of Yonason, we assume that his intention in relating the information is to right the wrong, and not to take revenge.
The Chofetz Chaim cautions that before seeking help to protect oneself, a person must be certain that he has met all seven conditions that permit such talk. This is so important that the Chofetz Chaim finds it necessary to review the seven conditions. For our purposes, we will use the illustration of Yonason and Mr. Stockman:
• Yonason must be absolutely certain that Mr. Stockman has taken his money. He has to know this first hand; if an employee informed him of this, he has to investigate the matter and confirm that it is true before taking action.
• After confirming that Mr. Stockman has taken the money, Yonason must determine beyond the shadow of a doubt that he was wrong for taking it. Perhaps Mr. Stockman had used additional private money for business expenses and now that profits were coming in, he was merely reclaiming money that was his own.
• If at all possible, Yonason should confront Mr. Stockman directly before seeking help from others.
• Once Yonason has determined that he must tell someone what has happened, he should be careful to be absolutely truthful in relating it. He must not exaggerate and he should not make Mr. Stockman’s sin appear worse than it actually is. If even a minor detail would place Mr. Stockman in a somewhat better light, then Yonason should be careful to include it in his testimony.
• His intentions must be wholly honorable: to attempt to correct the injustice that was done. His intentions cannot be to exact revenge.
• Yonason must be certain that there is no way to retrieve his money other than to tell someone what has happened. If he can accomplish his goal and minimize the wrong that Mr. Stockman has done, then he is required to do so. For example, he might be able to tell the rav, “It is possible that Mr. Stockman thinks that he is entitled to a larger share of the profits than myself, but he is mistaken.”
• He must be certain that he will not be causing Mr. Stockman a greater loss than the halachah permits.
IN A NUTSHELL
There are times when even someone who has been personally hurt by an individual can relate lashon hara l’to’eles about that person.
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