Returning now to our original three situations (Day 78), we may conclude that if one is aware of a negative factor that by objective standards renders the proposed relationship a mistake, he is obligated to speak up. However, if by objective standards the factor does not lead to such a conclusion, but it may adversely affect the future of the people involved, one should not volunteer information about it, but one would have to respond truthfully when questioned specifically regarding the topic under which that factor falls.
If by objective standards the factor would have no bearing on the relationship, but it is clear that the other party would see it as an issue, one should not volunteer information about it and should suggest that the relationship be pursued.
As a concluding note to this section, one must understand that the possible situations of constructive negative speech that could arise in the settings of family, friends, community, business, employment, education, etc. are endless. No book can possibly give explicit instructions for dealing with them all. One’s only recourse is to become fluent in the principles, develop an understanding of the concepts, and accustom himself to consulting a rav, so that he can meet the challenges that such situations bring with them.
