Author: Acquire@pos

All forms of loshon hora are prohibited even when the information is true and accurate. (Only in very specific circumstances is it permissible to say something that would otherwise be considered loshon hora; this will be discussed later.)

Slander, which is information that is not true, referred to as hotzaas shem ra (lit., spreading a bad name), is worse than loshon hora which is derogatory but true.

To relate derogatory information that is essentially true but includes either exaggerations or even slight altering of facts is also considered hotzaas shem ra.

All forms of loshon hora are prohibited even when no names are mentioned, if it will be possible for people to determine who is being discussed.

Furthermore, if names are omitted but the story will reflect badly on an entire group of people, it may not be spoken. Speaking critically about an unnamed student at a yeshiva is often taken as a statement about the entire student body or as a reflection on yeshiva students in general. If this is the implication, the statement is a more serious form of loshon hora, for it reflects on a multitude of Jews.

Having concluded our discussion of the two basic categories of loshon hora (derogatory or harmful information), it is important to note several rules that apply equally to both:

Loshon hora is not limited to speech. Included in this prohibition is communication of derogatory or harmful information through any means. Therefore, writing loshon hora, or using code, sign or body language (e.g. a cynical smile or rolling one’s eyes upward in exasperation) that communicates something negative or harmful is forbidden.

To show others a letter or article that would reflect badly on its author is forbidden, as is revealing the identity of the author of a work that is known to be of poor quality.

It is also forbidden to show photographs of people which they would find embarrassing.

A person who has caused harm to his fellow must ask forgiveness even if the victim is unaware that he has been harmed.

A case in point is where an employee was being considered for promotion but was never informed of this possibility. If someone violated the laws of loshon hora and made a statement to the employer which resulted in the promotion not being granted, he must approach the victim, explain what has happened, and beg forgiveness.

However, Rabbi Yisrael Salanter is reported to have held that if relating the incident to the victim would cause him anguish, one would have to forego that aspect of the teshuvah process.

If one has uttered a potentially harmful statement about someone, he has committed a sin that is both bein adam la’Makom, between man and Hashem, and bein adam la’chaveiro, between man and his fellow. Confession, regret and resolution for the future can only serve as teshuvah (repentance) for one’s sins before Hashem. For sins against man, one must approach the person and beg forgiveness.

This only applies to a situation where one’s speech has already caused damage. If a potentially damaging statement was made but no actual harm has resulted as of yet, it is the speaker’s responsibility to do his best to prevent this from happening.

A practical way of accomplishing this would be to approach anyone who has heard the harmful information, and explain that it was inaccurate.

It is forbidden to speak loshon hora about children. While most people understand that “kids are kids” and the Torah does not hold children responsible for their actions, if one speaks about a child in a manner that either the speaker or listener sees as derogatory, then the laws of shmiras haloshon have been violated.

It is also forbidden to say or write something about a child that potentially could prove harmful to him.

A teacher who is prepared to enter a negative comment on a student’s record should pause to contemplate the effect that entry might have on the student’s future educational and employment opportunities.

Likewise, teachers should exercise caution and fairness when conveying their feelings concerning a student to his teacher for the coming year.

We have seen that it is permissible to speak disparagingly concerning a rasha, wicked individual.

With regard to potentially harmful speech, it is obvious that one may not say anything that could cause physical, financial or psychological harm to any person unless the Torah permits harming him. Just as it is forbidden to steal from a sinner, so too it is forbidden to speak about him in a way that could cause him financial loss.

We have seen that it is forbidden to speak in a derogatory manner even if the information being conveyed was already known to the listener. This is because the act of speaking negatively is inherently wrong.

Conversely, it stands to reason that a non-derogatory but potentially harmful statement can be made in the presence of anyone who is already aware of the information, unless the speaker emphasizes some point that the listener may not have realized previously. This is because the statement will not be cause for any harm which otherwise would not have come about.

Rambam takes this a step further, stating that if a potentially harmful statement was made in the presence of three people, the three are permitted to relate the information in conversation with others. This is because each of the three can assume that the other two will probably make the information public anyway. However, this would not be permissible if either:

One of the three is known to be discreet or especially careful regarding the laws of forbidden speech, or
The person’s intent in relating the information is to publicize the matter yet further.

According to the Chofetz Chaim, Rambam permits any of the three to repeat the information even if it is derogatory.

The Chofetz Chaim fails to find justification for such leniency; furthermore, he discourages reliance on Rambam’s opinion with regard to loshon hora spoken in the presence of three, as most other commentators seem to disagree with his ruling. Thus, one should never relate derogatory information, even when it was related to three or more listeners.

Unlike statements that are derogatory, a non-derogatory but potentially harmful statement can be made about a person if it is clear that he does not object.

If someone regularly talks about his inability to remember even his own phone number, it would not be forbidden for others to repeat that statement, provided that neither the speaker nor the listener thinks any less of the person on account of his poor memory.

Certainly, if a person explicitly grants permission for others to disclose potentially harmful information about himself, they are permitted to do so, provided that the information is not derogatory.

Making a statement about a product that would discourage people from buying it constitutes speaking loshon hora as it could harm the livelihood of either the manufacturer or the storekeeper who sells it. (In certain situations, however, this would be permissible, as will be discussed later.)

Similarly, it is forbidden to make a cynical comment about a speaker that could either discourage people from attending his lectures, or weaken the impact of his message.

As with any mitzvah, a child should be trained to avoid speaking loshon hora as soon as he reaches the age of understanding in this regard. It is common for children to denigrate the food they are served, causing hurt to the cook. Children should be trained to avoid making such comments.

Any information that, although not derogatory, could harm an individual’s opportunity for a job or a shidduch should it become known, may not be related. This form of loshon hora is common when people are approached for information regarding a shidduch or a job interview.

It is forbidden to talk of an individual’s physical weakness or lack of intelligence even if neither the speaker nor the listener views these shortcomings as negative. Sharing such information could prove harmful.

In Day 8, we saw that one may not mention that someone is a baal teshuvah if either the speaker or listener considers this derogatory (which, in fact, it is not). Based on the prohibition against relating negative information or information that could cause harm or hurt, it is permissible to relate that a person is a baal teshuvah only if, in addition to the speaker and listener not considering this to be derogatory, the baal teshuvah himself is open about his past and if this fact were mentioned in his presence he would not feel hurt; or (in a case where the baal teshuvah is sensitive about his past) the listener is known to be discreet and the information will never be passed on to others.

One who conveys information to others has no control over who will hear it and in what setting it will be repeated. Whatever one says concerning another person may very well be repeated in the presence of that person.

It is therefore forbidden to say anything about a person that might embarrass him if it were to be repeated in his presence, even if the information is not derogatory.

It is forbidden to relate that an individual is a baal teshuvah if the person is sensitive about this fact. This is true even in a community where baalei teshuvah are highly respected.

Thus far we have focused on statements which are derogatory in nature. The second category of loshon hora involves statements that could potentially cause harm to a person, be it physical, emotional or financial.

The Talmud teaches that gramma b’nizakin assur, it is forbidden to cause a person damage indirectly. Thus, any form of speech, even if not derogatory, but which may cause harm to someone, constitutes loshon hora and is forbidden.

We have seen that to speak derogatorily of one’s fellow is to degrade one’s own status as a creation b’tzelem Elokim (in God’s image).

For one who speaks loshon hora, the teshuva (repentance) process is the same as for all sins between man and his Creator: confession, sincere regret, and the resolution never to speak loshon hora again.

One is not required to discuss the matter with the subject on one’s sinful words and seek his forgiveness, unless actual harm was caused. (Teshuvah for having caused harm through loshon hora will be discussed later.)

Any information that, although not derogatory, could harm an individual’s opportunity for a job or a shidduch should it become known, may not be related. This form of loshon hora is common when people are approached for information regarding a shidduch or a job interview.

It is forbidden to talk of an individual’s physical weakness or lack of intelligence even if neither the speaker nor the listener views these shortcomings as negative. Sharing such information could prove harmful.

While the Scriptural prohibition against loshon hora applies only to speaking about the living, our Sages prohibit making slanderous remarks about the deceased.

It is also forbidden to speak negatively of our beloved land, Eretz Yisrael. As the Torah relates, the generation that merited to be liberated from Egypt spent forty years in the Wilderness and died there because of evil speech concerning the Land ( See Bamidbar chs. 13-14).

In truth, it is proper to avoid focusing on the negative unnecessarily even when discussing non-sacred objects. The early commentators tell of the wise man and his students who came upon the carcass of an animal. When the students commented on its foul odor, the wise man responded, “But see how white are its teeth!”

The Torah states: Do not go as a gossipmonger among your people (Vayikra 19:16). From the word among your people, our Sages derive that it is forbidden to speak loshon hora about a Jew only when he is one who acts in the way of your people.

It is not shameful to focus on the shortcomings of a wicked person. The term “wicked person” refers to a malicious offender. However, one who sins out of ignorance or temptation is in the category of amecha and it is forbidden to speak loshon hora about him (unless it is for a constructive purpose, as will be discussed later).

While statements which have a negative connotation are prohibited, this would not apply where the listener can be expected to understand that nothing derogatory was intended.

Therefore, halachah permits making an ambiguous statement if:
(1) Nothing derogatory is intended; and

(2) The unintended meaning of the statement is only mildly derogatory; and

(3) The statement is made in the presence of three people or in the presence of the person being discussed.

As an illustration, the early commentators offer the statement, “In that house, something is always cooking on the stove.” This could mean that this family’s door is always open to guests, or it can mean that the family is overindulgent. If the statement were to be made in the presence of three, one can safely assume that it would eventually become known to the family of whom it was said. Such being the case, the listeners would assume that the speaker intended it as a compliment. It would also be permissible to make such a statement in the presence of the family of whom it is said, since it would be obvious to all that there was no derogatory intent.

A Jew is responsible for exercising caution in speech and not making statements which can be misinterpreted as being derogatory.

An example of an ambiguous statement that should not be said is: “He’s a well-meaning fellow,” which can mean, “He’s well-meaning but not very intelligent, or, “He’s well-meaning but his actions are wrong.” If one simply means, “He’s well-meaning and sincere,” then this should be made clear

A derogatory statement is considered loshon hora even when the information is common knowledge for, as stated above, to speak negatively of one’s fellow Jew is shameful in itself.

Negative information about Jews appearing in newspapers may not be repeated. Newspapers often publish articles based on hearsay and thus, one is not even permitted to believe such information if the newspaper is its only source. Even after one has verified the information, he may nevertheless not repeat it.

It is forbidden to speak derogatorily about someone even when the subject has made it known that he does not mind if such things are said of him.

As mentioned above, to speak negatively of one’s fellow is shameful in itself, regardless of the subject’s feelings. Speaking loshon hora is contrary to man’s exalted status as the only creature who was fashioned b’tzelem Elokim, in the Divine image – and this is not altered by the fact that one has been granted permission to speak derogatorily.

It is forbidden to relate derogatory information about someone even when the speaker mentions that he himself has the very same shortcoming or is guilty of having committed the same act. This is derived from G-d’s rebuke of the prophet Yeshayah for his having referred to himself as “a man of impure lips dwelling among people of impure lips” (Yeshayahu 6:5).

Loshon hora cannot be spoken even when it is clear that one is not speaking out of malice or with intention to malign. Thus, one cannot relate negative information about his loved ones.

Another area involving loshon hora is that of past history. It is forbidden to relate something about an individual’s past which either the speaker or the listener considers shameful, though in reality it is not shameful at all.

Our Sages teach that “at the place where baalei teshuvah (returnees to the path of Torah) stand, perfect tzaddikim (those who have always been righteous) cannot stand” (Berachos 34b). Thus, there is nothing shameful about a baal teshuvah. Nevertheless, it is forbidden to relate that someone is a baal teshuvah if either the speaker or the listener looks down at such people. (Related laws regarding baalei teshuvah will be discussed in Day 20).

It would seem that there is nothing derogatory about a statement of taste. To say, “I don’t like dry wine,” is a description of the speaker’s preferences and not a critical evaluation of the wine.

Ostensibly, then, one should be allowed to say that one does not like the oratory style of a given lecturer. In fact, however, such statements are generally prohibited, for they imply that the speaker lacks effectiveness.

Previously, we saw that a statement which is essentially derogatory is forbidden, regardless of the speaker’s opinion regarding that statement. Conversely, it is forbidden to utter a statement which, essentially, is not derogatory, if either the speaker or the listener considers it derogatory.

An illustration of this would be where an individual’s mode of dress is being discussed. Although there may be nothing wrong with the way the person dresses, nevertheless, it is forbidden to say that the individual dresses in that manner, if either the speaker or listener has an unfavorable impression of those who dress that way.

It is forbidden to say that someone possesses a negative character trait. For example, it is forbidden to say that an individual is quick-tempered, argumentative, stingy, arrogant, etc.To say that someone is of bad character is forbidden as it is a derogatory statement. However, to indicate that someone is of average character (for example, that he does not overlook the wrong done to him) – while not complimentary – is also not derogatory and may be permissible. In common situations where the term “average” has negative connotations; such a statement would also constitute loshon hora.On the basis of the principle of relative statements discussed previously (Day 4), the claim that a person known for his piety is, in actuality, no better than average, is certainly loshon hora.

Certain statements are loshon horawhen said regarding one person, yet are perfectly acceptable when said regarding someone else. For example, to say that a businessman studies Torah five hours a day is obviously not derogatory. However, to say this of a kollel member who is assumed to be spending his entire day engrossed in Torah study would be derogatory. Similarly, it would be forbidden to relate the amount of tzedakahgiven by an individual, if that amount is considered respectable only for a man of lesser means.[There may be factors which would prohibit relating such information even when it is clearly complimentary. For example, people who give charity generously often do not want that fact to become public knowledge.]

It is forbidden to say that an individual lacks commitment in fulfilling a particular commandment. Therefore, it is forbidden to say that a man sets aside little time for daily Torah study, or that he does not go out of his way to help others.This would apply even if the speaker and listener themselves study little or are not known for their benevolence, and will openly admit to this without shame. Since the Torah commands us to make Torah study and chesed performance priorities in our lives, it is forbidden to say that someone else lacks dedication in these areas.

Loshon Hora (lit. evil talk) is defined as information which is either derogatory or potentially harmful to another individual.  A derogatory statement about someone is loshon hora, even if it will definitely not cause that person any harm.  To focus on the shortcomings of another person is itself wrong.

A statement that could potentially bring harm to someone – be it financial, physical, psychological or otherwise – is loshon hora, even if the information is not negative.

(It should be noted that the term loshon hora refers even to true statements which are derogatory or harmful.  Negative statements that are untrue or inaccurate are termed hotzaas shem ra, slander.)