Author: Acquire@pos

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 7:9

Shimshy is one of the funniest people I know. Have you ever seen him on Purim? Last year, he came to the Purim seudah dressed up as a candy machine, and the whole night, chocolate bars were falling out of his shirt!

“You know, before every yom tov, he goes to cheer up the elderly nursing home residents — and boy, does he cheer them up! I’ve seen some of them with tears of laughter running down their cheeks.

“And he’s very imaginative. Once, in the middle of the year, he came to the office building where his father works dressed up in a suit and tie, walked up to the security guard — an old man who’s been at the job for the last 40 years — opened his wallet and flashed a fake badge. ‘I’m from the F.B.I.,’ he said, ‘and we’re investigating some strange happenings in the building. You may be taken in for questioning.’ The poor fellow was scared out of his wits!”

While the speaker may think Shimshy’s antics with the security guard were funny, they were not. To frighten and trick the security guard involves a number of sins, the most serious being chillul Hashem.

The speaker is definitely guilty of speaking lashon hara. The question is: May the listeners believe what he has said?

The question revolves around something the Gemara calls “mesiach l’fi tumo” a casual remark.

In certain rare situations, we would not accept a person’s testimony in beis din, but we would rely on a casual remark this person made. The reasoning is simple. Even if the person is not trustworthy enough that his testimony can be relied upon, we might be able to rely on something he said casually when he was not intending to testify.

Example: If Mr. X is not considered a trustworthy person, we would not rely on his statement, “I know for a fact that Mr. Z has died.”

However, if Mr. X is seen exclaiming, “Woe is me! That Mr. Z should be taken at the prime of his life — and in front of my eyes — how terrible!” we might rely on it and declare that Mr. Z is no longer among the living.

Now let us apply this to the laws of lashon hara. If someone would say, “I saw Shimshy play a practical joke on the security guard at his father’s place of work,” we would not be allowed to believe it. However, in our illustration, the information about Shimshy was said in a casual conversation in which the speaker intended to praise Shimshy. Are we permitted to believe this?

No, says the Chofetz Chaim. The sin of believing lashon hara is explicitly stated in the Torah, and therefore the leniency of a casual remark, would not apply.

Instead, we should tell ourselves that whatever was said about Shimshy and the security guard was either patently false or grossly exaggerated. Our esteem for him should be the same as it was before we heard this report.

IN A NUTSHELL

We are not permitted to believe lashon hara even when said as a casual remark.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 7:7-8

There are certain situations where it might be permissible to believe lashon hara about someone, even though he is not known as someone who often commits serious sins.

Mr. Jacobs has been a respected member of the shul for three decades. He is known to be exceptionally honest and forthright, and the rav sometimes discusses private matters with him.

The rav once commented, “If Mr. Jacobs informs me of something of which I was unaware, I consider it as reliable as if I heard it from two witnesses in court!”

One day, Mr. Jacobs is walking by McDonald’s when he sees Mr. Farloran, a member of their shul, sitting at a table eating a cheeseburger. Mr. Jacobs waits until Farloran leaves the store and approaches him. “Excuse me,” he says politely, “may I ask you a question?”

“Mind your own business. Mr. Nosybody,” the man snaps. “I know what you want to ask me; it’s none of your concern.”

In this case, says the Chofetz Chaim, Mr. Jacobs would be correct to inform the rav, for it is important that the rav be aware of this situation, even if he cannot approach Mr. Farloran about the matter. And since Mr. Jacobs is as trustworthy in the rav’s eyes as two valid witnesses — the rav is permitted to believe his report.

However, this halachah applies only if Mr. Jacobs witnessed this himself. He would not be permitted to relate it if he heard about it from someone else, and the rav would not be permitted to believe it if he did relate it.

Even when Mr. Jacobs did witness it and the rav is permitted to believe his report, the rav cannot repeat the report to others.

Let us examine another case involving our friend Mr. Jacobs:

Mr. Jacobs approaches the rav one day to discuss the upcoming bar mitzvah of Chaim Birnik. “It’s so wonderful to see how well this boy is doing in yeshivah,” he remarks. “I remember his father, Mendy Birnik, from when we were teenagers. No rebbi could handle him; he was usually out of class, and sometimes out of school. Baruch Hashem, he straightened out, and he and his wife are raising fine children.”

There is no reason why the well-meaning Mr. Jacobs had to volunteer this information to the rav. He has been guilty of speaking lashon hara. Though the rav considers Mr. Jacobs as trustworthy as two valid witnesses, he is not permitted to believe this report about Mr. Birnik’s past.

Ideally, the rav should have stopped Mr. Jacobs as soon as he said, “I remember Mr. Birnik from when we were teenagers.” At that point, the rav could have said, “One second, my friend. Please don’t tell me anything uncomplimentary about Mr. Birnik’s youth. It’s really not important for me to know this.”

As the Chofetz Chaim notes, if the rav realized where the conversation was heading and did not stop it, then aside from listening to lashon hara, he also transgressed “And before a blind person do not place a stumbling block”, which forbids a Jew to cause another Jew to sin. This is what the rav would transgress by allowing Mr. Jacobs to continue with a report that is clearly lashon hara.

IN A NUTSHELL

One is permitted to believe a negative report that he needed to know and which was related to him by someone whom he trusts like two valid witnesses.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 7:5-6

Rabbi Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld, the great Rav of Jerusalem in the early 1900s, was known for his deep love of all Jews, even those who were fiercely anti-religious and considered themselves his enemies.

Once, one of Rav Yosef Chaim’s sworn enemies became seriously ill and was taken to a hospital run by Christian missionaries. The rabbanim of Jerusalem had issued a ban on using this hospital. During his hospital stay, the patient became progressively worse until his life was in danger.

The family knew that only the expert physicians at the Orthodox Jewish Shaarei Zedek Hospital could save his life. But they also knew that the hospital would not want to admit a patient who had ignored the rabbanim’s ban against using the missionary hospital.

To whom did the family turn in their hour of need? Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld, of whom the patient once said, “We will fight to the death against Rabbi Sonnenfeld and his cronies.”

Upon hearing of the patient’s predicament, Rav Yosef Chaim, who was then past 70, leaped to his feet, grabbed his hat and coat, and hurried outside into a driving rainstorm. Within minutes, he had arrived at Shaarei Zedek and succeeded in having the man admitted.

R’ Yosef Chaim felt a deep, unconditional ahavas Yisrael for every Jew. We should emulate him. When we see a Jew who was raised in an atmosphere ignorant of Torah, we should pity him and attempt to show him the beauty of Torah. If we see a Jew who was religious but has now strayed from the Torah path, we should pray for him and show him, if at all possible, that we truly care for him.

We have already learned that there are times when it is permissible to inform others of someone’s sins. In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim offers an example of a person who knows that a certain act is considered a very serious sin, and nevertheless intentionally commits this sin many times. His sinfulness is well known to all. It is permissible to warn others to keep their distance from him, and to mention other forms of his misbehavior of which others might be unaware. The purpose of this is so that others will not be influenced by him. While we are concerned for the sinner’s neshamah and pray for him, we need to be concerned for others as well.

Since his sinfulness is well known to all, one is also permitted to believe a report of his behavior that is not well known.

“Four years ago, when we were both in 10th grade, Baruch and I cut class three days in a row — and got away with it!”

We have learned that including ourselves in the report does not give us the right to speak lashon hara. The fact that the speaker proudly speaks of his own antics does not give him the right to say this about Baruch. And the listener cannot believe the report about Baruch, though there is nothing wrong with believing what the speaker said about himself.

IN A NUTSHELL

We are permitted to speak against a known sinner so that others will not be influenced by him.

We may not speak lashon hara about others even when we include ourselves.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 7:3-4

Consider the following scenario:

Speaker #1: “You have no idea what kind of tricks Devorah pulls behind the teacher’s back!”

Speaker #2: “Yes, I’ve seen some of her antics myself. If she ever gets caught, she’s finished!”

Speaker #3: “I once saw her put a spider on the teacher’s chair as class was about to begin!”

It seems obvious that Devorah is quite a trouble­maker.

The halachah, however, takes a different approach. We are not permitted to believe any of the above statements.

The fact that three people seem to agree on Devorah’s misbehavior does not make it permissible to believe them. Each one is guilty of speaking lashon hara, and therefore her words cannot be accepted.

The Chofetz Chaim makes an interesting point. Speaking lashon hara is a terrible sin. Someone who intentionally commits such a sin can certainly be suspected of exaggerating or even lying. On the other hand, an average Jew has a chezkas kashrus, meaning that we assume him to be innocent until proven guilty. Why, then, should I assume that the words of these sinners are true? Wouldn’t it make more sense to assume that those who have spoken lashon hara are misrepresenting the facts and that Devorah, who until now had a chezkas kashrus, is innocent?

What if three people agree on the following?

“Pinchas has acted recklessly with other people’s money. It is foolhardy to do business with him.”

In this case, it is correct to consider the possibility that the report might be true and to take the necessary precautions. However, we are not allowed to believe the report, even though three people claim that it is true, and even though if it is true, they are correct in relating it.

One may wonder: Why are we not permitted to believe a report delivered by two or more people? We know that according to Torah law, two witnesses are the minimum needed to testify in beis din. We also know that the testimony of two witnesses is as powerful as that of 100. So, if two Jews state that they know firsthand about Pinchas’ reckless use of other people’s money, why can’t I believe them?

The Chofetz Chaim explains that if the two would offer their testimony in beis din, we would be permitted to believe them. Witnesses know that testifying in beis din is a very serious matter. If they are caught lying, they are labeled false witnesses and would be disqualified from testifying in the future. Therefore, when they do testify, we assume that their words are true until proven otherwise.

Our case, however, is where the testimony is being offered outside of beis din. Here, if the speakers are caught lying they would be called those who spread slander a serious matter, but not as serious as being labeled false witnesses by a Jewish court. Therefore, we are permitted to consider the possibility that their words are true and act accordingly to protect ourselves, but we are not permitted to believe their words as fact.

We are also not permitted to believe rumors or reports about Jews in the media, no matter how many news outlets report the information. However, we are permitted to inquire about the report and protect our­selves in case it might be true.

IN A NUTSHELL

Even when lashon hara is related by three or more people, we are not permitted to believe it as fact.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 7:1-2

The annual shul dinner is in progress. The key­note speaker, a renowned community leader, is speaking about the importance of keeping the neighborhood clean and neat. “It is disgraceful,” he thunders, “when the schools in which we educate our children are sloppy and disorganized. Yeshivah Emes L’Amito is a prime example of this … ”

Mr. Gold turns to his friend Mr. Greenberg, and whispers, “I’m not familiar with that yeshivah — are you?” “No,” Mr. Greenberg replies, “but this fellow seems to know what he is talking about. I guess that place is a mess. I certainly won’t be sending my sons to that yeshivah.”

Of course, the speaker was guilty of speaking lashon hara. Such a statement about a yeshivah reflects badly upon the school administration, the rebbeim and teachers, and possibly the students as well.

Mr. Gold and Mr. Greenberg were not permitted to believe this lashon hara. The fact that the speaker was not afraid to make this statement in front of hundreds of people does not prove that it is true.

However, Mr. Greenberg, who had been considering that yeshivah for his son, is permitted to suspect that the statement might possibly be true. The best option would be for him to visit the yeshivah himself and see firsthand whether or not it is “sloppy and disorganized.”

The boys are quite upset. The gym door is jammed and cannot be opened with a key. They will have to spend their recess in the classroom.

Josh announces to everyone, “I know why it’s jammed. Every time the door is locked, Tzvi tries to force it open. Right, Tzvi? … You see, he’s not answering, because he knows it’s true!”

It seems quite obvious that Josh is right. After all, if Tzvi is not the culprit, why is he remaining silent?

The Chofetz Chaim states:

There is no license to accept lashon hara, even if the speaker makes his statements in the person’s presence, since we did not hear an admission from him … and certainly this is the halachah where the person is not present and the speaker says, “I would say this even if he were here” — it is forbidden to believe him because of this. Tragically, people transgress this halachah often.

Even if he is silent as the words of shame are being said in his presence, this is not proof that the statement is true. This is the halachah even if his nature is not to remain silent when hearing words that are not pleasing to him, and this time he remained silent. For it could be that this time he overcame his nature, and decided not to respond so that he would not be drawn into a dispute; or perhaps he realized that the listeners would more likely believe the speaker’s report rather than his denial. For this is the wicked way of people: they believe anything said in the person’s presence; even if he denies it 100 times, still they will not believe him.

The golden rule is: Don’t believe lashon hara. At times, this may be a very difficult test, but Jews also live by another rule. Hashem does not present us with a test that we cannot handle. The mitzvah of shemiras halashon is within everyone’s power to keep; if we will only make the proper effort, Hashem will help us to succeed.

IN A NUTSHELL
Do not believe lashon hara, even when it is said in front of a large crowd or in the presence of the subject.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 6:11-12

R’ Yosef Colon (1410-1480), known as Maharik, writes of a tragic episode that happened in his time. A woman spread a rumor in a certain town that an elderly Jewish townsman had committed a terrible sin. Many of the townspeople believed the woman and they prevailed upon the leaders of the community to treat the man as a sinner. From then on, he was never called to the Torah in that town and was an object of scorn and disgrace.

Maharik wrote:

Whoever embarrassed this man should beg Hashem for mercy for himself, for he takes a carefree attitude towards the honor of the descendants of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. Without a doubt, people who react this way (to rumors) are despicable in Hashem’s eyes and their punishment will be severe. … One who embarrasses his fellow Jew in public forfeits his share in the World to Come. … A person should investigate such a rumor thoroughly before acting upon it. One who does not is taking his own life in his hands.

The Chofetz Chaim points out that the testimony of a single witness in beis din can force someone to swear that he is telling the truth; however, it does not permit anyone to believe the testimony as fact.

The Chofetz Chaim bemoans an all-too-common occurrence:

Binny the Beggar has been collecting tzedakah for himself for years. One day, a respected member of the community announces: “You know what I heard the other day? Binny’s a phony — he has thousands of dollars stashed away in the bank, enough to live on for the next 60 years! Well, he’s not getting any money out of me anymore!”

People who listen to this announcement are quick to believe it. From that day on, when Binny approaches them with his hand outstretched, they offer him an icy stare, but no money.

These people, says the Chofetz Chaim, are guilty of believing lashon hara. They would be permitted to investigate the report to determine whether or not there is any truth to it. However, until they have conclusive proof that Binny is a faker, they are obligated to assume that he is an honest person and truly is poor. And they must give him the same amount of tzedakah as before.

If someone believed lashon hara and has not repeated it to anyone and seeks to engage in teshuvah, the process is not complicated. He must do his best to uproot the report from his mind; he must regret his sin and resolve to do his best not to repeat it in the future; and he must confess to Hashem for having sinned.

Uncomplicated, yes; easy, no. Once we believe something negative about someone, it is not easy to uproot it and convince ourselves that it is not true. Nevertheless, we must try our best if we truly seek to dis­tance ourselves from the terrible sin of lashon hara.

IN A NUTSHELL

Until a negative report is proven true, we must treat the subject with the same respect and kindness as before.

One who has believed lashon hara must engage in the standard process of teshuvah.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 6:9-10

Sefer Yad Ketanah analyzes the verse that prohibits us from believing lashon hara: “Do not accept a false report.” We have learned that lashon hara is forbidden even if it is true. And, in the Chofetz Chaim’s words, “Whatever we are not permitted to speak, we are not permitted to believe.” Why, then, does the Torah use the term “false report”?

Yad Ketanah explains: “Any statement that is disgusting and repulsive is considered false, even if in reality its facts are true. This is because such statements lack substance; no good is found in them, only evil.”

The Chofetz Chaim adds a beautiful thought:

Michoel is a fine, Torah-observant Jew. He is respected and loved by all. One day, someone approaches you and says, “You know, I just found out about Michoel’s dark past. He was arrested twice for shoplifting — before he mended his ways.”

Of course, the listener is not permitted to believe this. The Chofetz Chaim explains that even if the facts about Michoel’s past are true, the statement is inherently false.

What is the speaker hoping to accomplish by spreading his evil report? Obviously, it bothers him that people hold Michoel in high esteem. The speaker is hoping that by telling everyone about Michoel’s past, people will think less of him.

Says the Chofetz Chaim, this is false! The report, even if it is absolute truth, is not a reason to think less of Michoel. He has done teshuvah, he has mended his ways, and asked Hashem to forgive him for the sins of his past. Those sins are not a reason to think less of him now.

The Chofetz Chaim cites the words of Rambam regarding a sinner who has completed the process of teshuvah:

Yesterday, he was separated from Hashem, G-d of Israel … but today, he is attached to the Shechinah.

Because, as we have said, whatever cannot be spoken cannot be accepted as truth, we also cannot believe reports that someone is “not that bright,” “a weakling,” or “failing in business.” As we have learned, all such statements could cause damage to a person’s future, and therefore are lashon hara.

We have learned that one is allowed to listen to [what would nor­mally be considered] lashon hara to protect himself from possible physi­cal or financial harm. The Chofetz Chaim stresses that in the listener’s mind, it should not be a “50-50 possibility” that the information is true. Rather, he should tell himself that the information is probably not true, but he is taking the necessary steps to protect himself on the slight chance that it is true.

Therefore, the listener is not permitted to think less of the subject of the report. He should continue to view him as a fine Jew and should assist him with his needs in the same way that he would have before hearing the report.

IN A NUTSHELL

Derogatory information about others is inherently false.

We may not accept as fact any form of lashon hara; when we need to listen to lashon hara l’to’eles, we may act on the slight possibility that the report is true.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 6:7-8

Levi and Hanoch agreed to end their business partnership and have a beis din decide how their assets should be divided. On the day beis din issued its decision, Hanoch left very upset. As he walked down the street, he met his good friend Moshe, who was well aware of the court case. Hanoch showed his friend the written p’sak (ruling) and exclaimed, “Did you ever hear of something more ridiculous in your entire life? They gave virtually everything of value to Levi! Those rabbanim don’t know what they’re doing!”

Moshe shook his head in disbelief as he handed the p’sak back to his friend. “I can’t believe what I just read. You’re right. Those rabbanim really blew it! It’s a shame you didn’t bring the case before a more qualified beis din. Any intelligent person can see that you were not given a fair deal.”

If you were to ask Moshe whether or not any of his comments were in the category of forbidden speech, he might very well respond incredulously, “Forbidden speech? What are you talking about? I just stated my opinion about a p’sak — what could be wrong with that?”

The Chofetz Chaim teaches us that Moshe is guilty of accepting lashon hara and of not giving the judges the benefit of the doubt. The judges are, of course, talmidei chachamim. We are required to give a talmid chacham the benefit of the doubt even when it appears more likely that he has acted incorrectly. In our case, it is foolish for Moshe to side with Hanoch based on the written p’sak. Moshe was not in court and did not hear the arguments and counter-arguments. It is very possible that had he been present in beis din and witnessed certain points or questions raised by the dayanim (judges), he would realize that the p’sak is absolutely correct.

Aside from the sins we have mentioned, when people speak disrespectfully of a beis din and its rulings, they disgrace the Torah itself and they influence others to ignore, or even ridicule, the words of talmidei chachamim. This itself is a terrible sin.

There are other situations where not giving someone the benefit of the doubt will lead to kabbalas lashon hara — even where the listener knows the facts to be true:

Chayah called in sick and was not at work for two days. On the second day of her absence, two of her co-workers saw her eating lunch with friends in a restaurant. One remarked, “Look at that! I guess she couldn’t be that sick if she is able to go out and party!” The other responded, “I guess some people will resort to lying to take a couple of days off.”

In this example, the first co-worker is guilty of speaking lashon hara. The second is also guilty of accepting lashon hara. Both are guilty of not giving Chayah the benefit of the doubt. It is quite possible that Chayah did not feel well enough to work, but she was well enough to go out for lunch with some friends. Perhaps her fever broke a couple of hours earlier and then she started to feel better. Or, it may be that she really did not want to go out for lunch, but she felt that she could not refuse her friends’ request to join them at the restaurant.

The mitzvah of shemiras halashon and of giving others the benefit of the doubt is very much intertwined.

IN A NUTSHELL

Not giving others the benefit of the doubt often leads to accepting lashon hara and the disgrace of talmidei chachamim.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 6:5-6

In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim discusses a situ­ation where one finds himself among people who are in the midst of speaking lashon hara. What should one do at this moment?

The language used by the Chofetz Chaim here is so powerful and incredible that we will translate, rather than adapt, his words. Bear in mind that the Chofetz Chaim was exceedingly careful with his every word. Nothing is exaggerated; everything is precise.

Says the Chofetz Chaim:

If the person is able to leave this gathering or to place his fingers in his ears, it is a great mitzvah to do so, as is stated in Masechta Kesubos. However, if it is impossible for him to leave the gathering, and he feels that it is too difficult to place his fingers in his ears because they will laugh at him, then he should gather his energy and remain steadfast during this time of distress, and wage a war for the sake of Hashem against his yetzer hara, so that he should not transgress the Torah prohibition against accepting lashon hara.

For this, he needs to be very careful with three things …

1. He must decide in his mind that he absolutely will not believe the disparaging words that are being said about others.

2. It should not please him to hear these forbid­den accounts.

3. He should be steadfast in not showing the speakers any sort of facial expression or movement that might indicate that he agrees with what they are saying. Rather, he should sit stony-faced. It would be even better for him to show an angry face so that they will realize that he does not endorse their foolish words.

In a situation where one could easily have left the group and did not, or where he joined a group knowing that a sinful conversation was in progress, or where he joined knowing that these people are prone to speaking lashon hara, he is as guilty as they are, for our Sages have instructed us to distance ourselves from forbidden talk. If someone joins such a group with the intention of listening to their evil talk, then certainly, says the Chofetz Chaim “his sin is too great to bear.”

The Chofetz Chaim concludes by quoting the ethical will of the Tanna R’ Eliezer ben Hyrkanos to his son:

My son, do not sit among groups who speak evil of others, for when these words ascend Above they are recorded in a book. Those who are present are inscribed [in that book] as a wicked group, baalei lashon hara.

Someone posed the following question to Rabbi Avraham Pam: “Every afternoon after completing my day’s work, I stand at a bus stop waiting for a bus to take me home. Very often, a certain person I know passes by in his car on his way home from work and offers me a ride. Many times during these rides, this man launches into a tirade about various people. Am I permitted to accept such a ride?”

Rav Pam responded that he should not accept a ride from this person, for by doing so, he would be entering into a nisayon (test) of possibly listening to and accepting lashon hara. Each day in Birchos HaShachar, said Rav Pam, we pray that we should not be faced with spiritual tests. How, then, can we knowingly enter a situation where we might be tested?

ְִִֵֹ

IN A NUTSHELL

When we hear lashon hara against our will, we must make sure not to believe it, and we should give every indication that we are unhappy about it.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 6:3-4

Yisrael is hurrying down the street towards his friend Rafi. “Rafi,” he exclaims, “I’m sure you know the Stein fellow who lives around the corner from us — the one who always seems to be in an

angry mood. You’ve got to hear what he’s up to!”

It certainly appears as if Yisrael is about to relate lashon hara about Mr. Stein. We have learned that it is forbidden to intentionally listen to lashon hara even if we do not intend to believe it. So it would seem that Rafi would have to tell Yisrael that he does not want to hear this bit of information.

On the other hand, the information may be important for Rafi to know; either to protect himself from harm, or so that he can help to defuse a potentially explosive situation.

What should Rafi do? He should say the following:

“Yisrael, before you say another word, please tell me the truth. Is it really important for me to know what Mr. Stein did? If not, I do not want to hear anything about it.”

If is apparent from Yisrael’s response that it is important for Rafi to know what happened, he would be permitted to listen to the report, provided that he does not believe it as fact. If, on the other hand, Yisrael is merely eager to share some “juicy information,” or wants to spread negative information about Mr. Stein because he dislikes him, it would be forbidden to listen.

The Chofetz Chaim offers some examples in which the information will not save Rafi from harm, but nevertheless, he is permitted to listen to it:

Rafi has a feeling that Mr. Stein is not as guilty as Yisrael thinks he is. By listening to the account of what supposedly happened, Rafi will be able to show Yisrael and others who are present that Mr. Stein is not such a bad fellow after all.

Yisrael comes towards Rafi with a somewhat different outburst: “Yisrael, you know that Stein fellow from around the corner? You know what he just did to me? Just wait until I get even with him!”

In this case, Rafi may feel that he will be able to calm Yisrael and defuse the situation. By doing this, says the Chofetz Chaim, Rafi will be “increasing peace among the Jewish people.” This is in fact a mitzvah and warrants Rafi’s listening to what happened.

The Chofetz Chaim cautions, however, that Rafi should be extremely careful not to believe the report as fact “so that he will not be trapped in the net of kabbalas lashon hara.”

Sometimes we fall into this “net” quite innocently.

Tzippy is sitting at a wedding enjoying the company when someone at her table tells a very unflattering story about Malka, whom they all know. Tzippy is distressed that she inadvertently heard lashon hara.

The Chofetz Chaim says that the best thing to do in this situation is to try to immediately right the wrong. If at all possible, Tzippy should try to show everyone how in that story, Malka had really done nothing wrong, or that whatever she did was totally accidental and out of char­acter for her. If Tzippy knows that the woman who told the story dislikes Malka and will probably try to defend her version of the story, then she should wait until the woman is out of earshot before attempting to set the record straight.

IN A NUTSHELL

One is permitted to listen to lashon hara when he is reasonably cer­tain that there is a constructive purpose to such listening. Even then, he should not believe it as fact.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 6:1-2

The Chofetz Chaim now turns his attention to the sin of kabbalas lashon hara, listening to and accepting lashon hara.

The Torah states: “Do not accept a false report.” This, says Mechilta, is the prohibition against accepting lashon hara. There are two aspects to this sin:

It is forbidden to intentionally listen to lashon hara even if we have no intention of believing it.

If we hear lashon hara, whether intentionally or unintentionally, we are not allowed to believe it.

The Chofetz Chaim points out that when a person believes lashon hara, his respect for the person about whom it was spoken is lowered. The mitzvah of ahavas Yisrael requires us to think well of other Jews, not to think less of them because of something that was said about them.

If someone is told lashon hara and responds by nodding in agreement, then he has been guilty both of accepting lashon hara and of speaking lashon hara.

Amazingly, Rambam states that the punishment of one who accepts lashon hara is greater than that of the speaker. Perhaps the reason is that if people would not accept lashon hara, then the evil report would be “D.O.A.” (Dead on Arrival). It would be harmless, and perhaps the speaker, seeing that his words were ignored, would not repeat this evil practice. The fact that the listener accepts the report as fact encourages the speaker to spread more lashon hara in the future.

There are times when it is permissible to listen to lashon hara. If a person feels that he must listen to lashon hara in order to save himself or someone else from physical or financial harm, he is permitted to do so. He may take the necessary steps on the possibility that the report is true, but he may not accept it as fact.

Raphael is on the verge of entering into a partnership with Naftali. The night before they are supposed to sign a contract to make it official, someone approaches Raphael and says, “I feel that I must warn you: if you enter into a partnership with Naftali, you will regret it.”

Raphael is permitted to ask the person, “On what basis do you make your statement?” He would then be permitted to listen to the person’s explanation as to why such a partnership would be harmful to him. Raphael would not be permitted to believe as fact whatever negative information he heard about Naftali. However, he would be permitted to — and he should — investigate the matter to the best of his ability. If his investigation indicates that the report is true, it would be perfectly correct for him to cancel plans for a partnership.

There are other reasons why a person would be permitted to listen to lashon hara without believing it. He may listen to it so that he can disprove it, or so that he can help make peace between Jews embroiled in a dispute, or so that he can be of help in correcting a wrong. As long as there is a beneficial reason for him to listen to the report, he may do so, provided that he does not believe it as fact.

IN A NUTSHELL

We are forbidden to intentionally listen to lashon hara. If we hear lashon hara, we are not permitted to believe that it is true.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 5:7-8

The legendary founder of the Mussar Movement, Rabbi Yisrael Salanter, once met a man who had served as a shochet for some time. “Rebbi,” the man said, “I am giving up shechitah and instead plan to become a businessman. I found shechitah too nerve-wracking. There are so many halachos to know, and it is so easy to make a mistake and ‘mess up.’”

R’ Yisrael told the man, “I assure you that to be an honest businessman and adhere to all the Torah’s business laws is more difficult than shechitah.”

One of the areas of business that can be a major test for a Jew is how to deal with competition.

Consider the following:

“Snazzy Suits” has been doing a brisk business for years. Three months ago, a new suit store, “Perfect Fit,” opened a few blocks away. The store was rap­idly becoming popular, and Mr. Krandler, owner of Snazzy Suits, felt certain that the new store was hurting his business. He turned to his friend, Mr. Kornish, an advertising executive, for advice.

“What you need,” his friend said, “are some pow­erful ads, ads that will highlight the quality of your suits as opposed to the shoddy merchandise the new store is offering.

“How about this one: ‘Don’t be fooled by what’s “perfectly unfit”! Snazzy Suit’s salesmen, whose experience and expertise is unparalleled, will give you the suit that truly is tailor-made.’ ”

Mr. Krandler is ecstatic and immediately hires his friend to produce the ad.

It is forbidden to disparage someone’s merchandise; one who does so has spoken lashon hara. The Chofetz Chaim bemoans the fact that it is all too common for businessmen to speak badly of their competitors’ merchandise.

Our Sages teach that our earnings for the coming year are decreed in Heaven on Rosh Hashanah. Our competitors cannot take away our earnings, and maligning their merchandise will not gain us additional earnings.

Sometimes, it might appear that dishonest business practices do result in more income. But Hashem has infinite ways of “evening the score.” Perhaps that person’s house will need major repairs and all his dishonest earnings will have to be used for that purpose. Whatever the case, a believing Jew knows that one cannot gain from going against Hashem’s will, and one cannot lose from living according to halachah.

Once, a young man who was suffering with a difficult personal problem came to Rabbi Moshe Feinstein to ask if, to help his situation, he was permitted to do something which halachah normally does not permit. R’ Moshe replied that he could not permit such a thing. The young man began to cry because he felt that this was his only hope. R’ Moshe took the young man’s hand in his own and, in a voice filled with compassion, said, “What do people do when they have a serious problem? They ask a tzaddik for a berachah. I assure you that following the halachah is greater than a berachah.”

The young man heeded R’ Moshe’s advice and eventually his problem was resolved.

This segment concludes with the following scenario:

Avi relates lashon hara to three of his friends. The next day, Peretz tells the three friends, “I know for a fact that whatever Avi told you yesterday is true.”

Peretz is guilty of speaking lashon hara, though he has added nothing to Avi’s words. His vouching for Avi’s statement makes it more likely that the three friends will believe it. Strengthening lashon hara is also a sin.

IN A NUTSHELL

Never malign a competitors’ merchandise.  Never endorse someone else’s lashon hara.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 5:5-6

He is such a weakling!”

Someone unfamiliar with the laws of lashon hara might consider this a perfectly proper statement. “What did I say wrong? He is the nicest person I know — but he is a weakling!”

Such a statement is lashon hara if it could harm the person’s chances to earn a livelihood. The Chofetz Chaim offers two examples when this is possible: where the subject is a hired laborer or a rebbi.

No one would want to hire a laborer who is a weakling. And many principals would not want to hire a rebbi who is a weakling. It is often hard to find a good substitute for a rebbi and a principal might think that “a weakling” is more likely to miss school because of illness.

“He doesn’t earn a living — I know that for a fact.”

When word spreads that someone “is not earning a living,” others will be reluctant to loan him money. In both these cases, “If this will be publicized in the city,” says the Chofetz Chaim, “no one will want to extend credit to him, and this will cause him great harm and aggravation. This will affect his very existence — literally.”

As we have noted previously, if such information needs to be told l’to’eles (for a constructive purpose), then seven conditions, which will be discussed later, must be met.

“On the average day, he studies Torah for about three hours.”

“You can expect a $36 donation from him — that’s what he usually gives.”

Are such statements lashon hara? It depends about whom they are spoken.

To say that a man who works from 9:00 to 5:00 studies Torah for three hours a day is a great compliment. But if we are speaking about someone who is supposedly a full-time yeshivah student, then this statement indicates that something is amiss.

For a person who earns a modest living, a $36 donation is nice. But for a billionaire, it indicates stinginess.

When deciding whether or not a statement is lashon hara, we should follow Rambam’s rule: Any statement that can cause a person physical or financial harm; frighten him, or distress him, is lashon hara.

“What’s wrong with saying that he never gives a donation larger than $36? Neither do I!”

This is flawed logic, says the Chofetz Chaim. Perhaps the speaker is not ashamed to say this, because everyone knows that this is the most he can afford. The person of whom he is speaking, on the other hand, might be expected to give more.

Even if everyone knows that both men have identical jobs and earn the same amount of money, this does not necessarily permit such a statement, if people would expect them to give more. The fact that a person is not embarrassed by something does not grant him a license to say it about someone else.

IN A NUTSHELL

Never refer to someone as a “weakling” or say that he does less than would be expected of someone of his status. Being unashamed of your own faults does not give you the right to say that others possess these same faults.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 5:2-4

“He’s a nice person, but he’s not that bright.”

“I’ve seen better contractors than him.”

“The rav knows what he needs to know for everyday she’eilos (halachic questions), but when it comes to a difficult piece of Gemara, he runs into problems.”

The Chofetz Chaim informs us that many people, out of sheer ignorance, are apt to make such comments, not realizing that such statements are pure lashon hara.

Lashon hara is any statement that either is derogatory or can cause the person harm is lashon hara. Can anyone honestly say that the statement “He’s not that bright” is not derogatory? In the Chofetz Chaim’s words:

I ask you, my brother: If you would discover, beyond any doubt, that someone announced publicly that you are not bright, wouldn’t you have a grievance against him? You would think to yourself, “What sign of foolishness did he see in me [that caused him to say this about me]? His statement is nothing more than an expression of his wickedness, and an indication that he is a baal lashon hara.”

All three examples above can cause the person irreparable damage. To say that someone is “not so bright” can hurt his shidduch opportunities. If he is married, it can lower his esteem in the eyes of his wife and in-laws. It can hurt his chances to find a job.

What if you are asked information about someone who applied for a teaching job and in your opinion, that person is “not so bright”? Such a situation has to be handled with great sensitivity; perhaps a halachic authority should be consulted. This is because your personal opinion about the person’s intelligence may not necessarily be correct. If it is correct, it does not guarantee that the person is not qualified for the teaching position. Perhaps he has many other great qualities, and with proper lesson-planning he will make a fine teacher.

“I’ve seen better contractors than him.” This statement can cause the contractor a loss of business, and could conceivably destroy his business. The only situation that might warrant such a statement is when someone who is considering hiring the contractor asks information about him. Even then, the “seven rules of to’eles (constructive speech),” which will be discussed in a later chapter, must be met.

“The rav knows what he needs to know for everyday she’eilos (halachic questions), but when it comes to a difficult piece of Gemara, he runs into problems.” This statement, even if true, is terrible. If the rav is fulfilling his role as spiritual leader of his community and teaching them how to live a life of Torah, then there is no reason to criticize him. Ridiculing the rav’s level of knowledge will serve only to lower his esteem in the people’s eyes. Then, when the rav instructs the people in the ways of the Torah, some of them might say, “Why should I listen to him? He’s not much of a talmid chacham, you know.”

The Chofetz Chaim writes:

Because the rav’s esteem was lowered in the eyes of the local populace, he might be removed from his position entirely. The speaker will have been responsible for [spilling] his blood and the blood of his offspring, for through his lashon hara, he has deprived him of his livelihood.

The speaker has also lowered the honor of Torah and its students very much; he has disgraced a talmid chacham, and for this, our Sages say, there is no remedy for his injury.

It does not take much to damage a person’s reputation. However, once it is damaged, it is often impossible to restore the reputation to what it once was.

IN A NUTSHELL

Criticism of a person’s intelligence or skills can do irreparable harm to his reputation.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM Hilchos Lashon Hara 4:12 – 5:1

Any time a Jew commits a sin, he is defying the will of Hashem. When he is ready to engage in teshuvah (repentance), he must embark on a three-part process:

1. Letting go of the sin and resolving not to repeat it in the future. Our Sages offer a parable of a person who immerses himself in a mikveh to purify himself from tumah and continues to hold a dead sheretz (creeping animal) — the cause of his tumah — in his hand! He can immerse himself all day and it will accomplish nothing. Until he lets go of the sheretz, he will not become purified.

Similarly, If someone sincerely wants to engage in teshuvah, his first step must be to stop committing that sin and to resolve not to repeat it in the future.

2. Regret – He must sincerely regret his sinful actions of the past.

3. Confession – He must confess his sin before Hashem.

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch explained that the reason for confession is to ensure that the person will make a real effort to change. When we express with our lips what we have thought in our hearts, we are more likely to live up to it.

These three steps are required for any sin. When a sin is between man and his fellow, the sinner must also seek forgiveness. Speaking lashon hara is, of course, in this category of sin.

The Chofetz Chaim states: If a person speaks lashon hara and no one believes it, then he does not have to ask forgiveness, though he still needs to follow the three-step program outlined above for having sinned against Hashem. However, if even one person believed the lashon hara and this caused the victim emotional, physical, or financial harm, the speaker must ask forgiveness.

When a person has developed the terrible habit of speaking lashon hara regularly, it is virtually impossible for him to achieve complete teshuvah. How can he possibly recall all the people against whom he spoke? Even if he could recall them all, he will very likely be embar­rassed to approach some of his victims. If his lashon hara did damage to an entire family and this affected the good name of later generations as well, this would make full repentance impossible.

This segment concludes with a word of caution: Just as it is forbid­den to say that someone engages in conversation during davening, so it is forbidden to say that he did not want to extend a loan to someone. Mitzvos that are between man and Hashem and mitzvos between man and his fellow are equally important. To say that someone went against any sort of mitzvah is forbidden.

And surely, it is forbidden to say, “Yosef refused to extend a loan to me.” In this case, aside from the sin of lashon hara, the speaker is guilty of bearing a grudge, which is also forbidden by the Torah.

IN A NUTSHELL

Teshuvah for speaking lashon hara often requires seeking forgive­ness from the subject.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 4:11

Mr. Shulman’s daughter, Rivkah, is of marriageable age. Someone suggested Yonah Hertzman as a possible shidduch for her. For certain reasons, Mr. Shulman does not want it known that he is seeking a shidduch for his daughter.

Mr. Shulman knows that his neighbor’s son, Daniel, studies in the same yeshivah as Yonah. One day after Shacharis, Mr. Shulman nonchalantly says to Daniel, “I hear there’s a nice group of boys in your yeshivah. I met a fellow named Yonah Hertzman from there. He impressed me as a good bachur, no?”

Daniel responds by telling him all about Yonah — exactly what Mr. Shulman hoped would happen. After listening to a few of Yonah’s qualities, Mr. Shulman says, “Well, no one’s perfect. You don’t mean to say that Yonah Hertzman has no faults?”

“Well, he really is a wonderful guy,” replies Daniel, “though he does come late to Shacharis once in a while. But, of course, he’s not the only one.”

Mr. Shulman had every right to inquire about Yonah. A shidduch is a serious matter and parents should inquire about the young man or woman who has been suggested as a marriage partner for their child. The same would apply to a potential business partnership. Each prospective partner has the right to ask about the personality and past history of the other party to determine whether or not he should enter into the partnership.

However, Mr. Shulman made a serious mistake in leading Daniel to believe that he was asking about Yonah only out of curiosity. If that would have been the case, then he would have been soliciting lashon hara; in other words, he gave the impression that he is a sinner who disregards the most basic rules of proper speech.

Even worse, when Daniel spoke of Yonah’s coming late to Shacharis, he was guilty of speaking lashon hara, since he had no idea that Mr. Shulman had a valid reason for seeking this information. By causing Daniel to sin, Mr. Shulman was guilty of “And before a blind person do not place a stumbling block.”

If Mr. Shulman needs shidduch information, he should be straightfor­ward. “Daniel, I need to ask you some questions about a boy who was suggested for my daughter … ” The same rule applies to someone who needs information about a potential business partner.

There is a situation, says the Chofetz Chaim, where even straightfor­wardness will not permit seeking information.

Naftali has received an offer from Dov to open a Judaica store in partnership. Naftali’s friend, Pinchas, has been in the Judaica business for years and surely knows Dov, whose previous Judaica store was only three blocks away from Pinchas’. Naftali sees Pinchas as the perfect source of information about Dov.

One should never seek information from someone’s enemy, for he is more than likely to speak negatively about him. The Chofetz Chaim adds that we should not seek information from someone’s business competitor, even when there is no known hatred between them. Unfortunately, competitors often have a dislike for one another, and seeking such information from them could possibly cause them to speak lashon hara. Even if such information would be l’to’eles (constructive), since their motivation for speaking is often hatred of their competitor, their words are forbidden.

IN A NUTSHELL

When seeking necessary information about someone, be clear as to the reason for your inquiries; do not seek such information from the subject’s competitor.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 4:9-10

Rabbi Yisrael Salanter is reported to have said that it is easier to learn through half of Shas than to break a single bad midah (character trait). Changing our very nature can be quite difficult, but we must do it nonetheless. The Vilna Gaon wrote that the primary purpose of a Jew in this world is to refine his midos. Elsewhere, the Gaon wrote that if a person does not strive to improve his character, “for what purpose is he living?”

The great Jerusalem maggid Rabbi Sholom Schwadron was learning in a shul; sitting near him was a tzaddik who was known for his calm, quiet nature. When some children entered the shul and began to disturb those who were learning, the tzaddik said, “R’ Sholom, could you please ask the children to stop disturbing us?”

R’ Sholom replied, “Actually, they are not disturbing me. If they are disturbing you, why don’t you speak to them yourself?”

The tzaddik’s response shocked R’ Sholom: “But, R’ Sholom, how can I speak to them? Don’t you know that I am a ka’asan (hot-tempered person)? If I speak to them, I am liable to lose my temper!”

R’ Sholom later reflected: “I had known this tzaddik for years and had never seen him exhibit the slightest trace of anger. Obviously, what he meant was that by nature, he was hot-tempered. The fact that everyone knew him as quiet and mild-mannered was because throughout his life, he worked on uprooting this terrible midah. When these children were disturbing his learning, he feared that if they would not comply with his request, he might possibly become upset and lose his temper.”

The Chofetz Chaim says that to demonstrate bad midos is a great sin. Unfortunately, many people do not realize this. They know that it is not nice to be an angry, arrogant person, but they don’t consider such behavior to be forbidden. Perhaps if they would be made aware that such behavior is forbidden, they would make an effort to change.

It is forbidden to tell others that someone is often angry, arrogant, etc. The correct approach is to speak to the person privately about his behavior, thereby fulfilling the mitzvah “Rebuke your fellow Jew.”

However, the Chofetz Chaim notes an important exception to this rule, which we can explain with the following example:

Suri, a fine, good-natured girl, has been bringing home a friend who often displays arrogance, as she frequently ridicules others and focuses on their faults.

Suri’s mother would be allowed to tell her daughter to stop associating with this girl because of her negative behavior. However, she should tell her, “This would normally be lashon hara, but I am allowed to tell it to you now, because it is important for you to know.”

IN A NUTSHELL

Do not speak about a person’s negative midos, except when caution­ing others to keep their distance from this person.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 4:7-8

The legendary tzaddik Rabbi Aryeh Levin of Jerusalem once wished “Shabbat Shalom” to a non-observant Jew who was walking down the street smoking a cigarette. When the man responded angri­ly: “Who says that I’m Jewish?” R’ Aryeh replied, “You don’t understand. I love you like my own brother and that is why it pains me when I see that you are smoking on this holy day.”

The man immediately dropped the cigarette and said, “I am not prepared to say that I will keep the Shabbos from now on. But in your honor, Rabbi, I will not smoke for the rest of today.”

When we witness a Jew not living according to the Torah, we should emulate Rabbi Aryeh Levin. We should demonstrate our sincere love for the person and pray that he will come to realize the truth and beauty of Torah.

In Bircas HaTorah, we pray that all Jews should merit to experience the beauty and sweetness of Torah learning: Please, Hashem, our G-d, sweeten the words of Your Torah in our mouth and in the mouths of Your people, the House of Israel … Each morning, we pray that all Jews, whatever their connection to Torah is now, should come to recognize that Torah is sweet and “delicious” in an incomparable

Sadly, there are situations where someone who has drifted away from Torah will not respond kindly to the most gentle and respectful criticism — not from a rav, relative, or anyone else. In such cases, it may be permissible to tell others to avoid this person’s company so that he will not influence them in a negative way.

Friends have a powerful influence on one another. It is important that our friendships be with those with whom we can grow spiritually and not, G-d forbid, the opposite.

There is another instance when we would be allowed to publicize someone’s wayward behavior. When someone has sinned terribly and we know that Hashem will not remain silent in the face of such behavior, we are permitted to inform others so that when the person receives his Divine punishment, no one will question Hashem’s ways.

The Chofetz Chaim’s son, R’ Aryeh Leib, wrote the following:

In my father’s town, there lived a widow whose landlord was an unlearned man. Because she was poverty-stricken, she could not meet her rental payments. The landlord wanted to evict her, but she did not want to leave. What did the landlord do? He removed the roof from her house. The entire town was in an uproar over this wicked act, which took place during the winter! The landlord ignored everyone and sent the woman out at the height of the winter.

My father concluded his account with the following: “This incident was stored away in my heart and I waited. Many years passed and nothing happened. From time to time I thought to myself: ‘Can it be that what he did should just pass by smoothly, when Hakadosh Baruch said, “My wrath shall blaze … [against those who mistreat widows and orphans]?”’

“About ten years had passed when we heard the news that the landlord was bitten by a dog. A few days later, he began to make a barking sound like a dog. His illness lasted a few weeks, and he died.”

IN A NUTSHELL

We are permitted to publicize someone’s misdeeds so that others will avoid associating with him, or so that others will not question the Divine judgment against that person.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 4:5-6

Shlomo HaMelech said: “Do not criticize a scoffer, lest he hate you.” A leitz (scoffer) is a person who ridicules things that should be taken seriously. Our Sages refer to Pharaoh as a leitz because no matter how many times Hashem brought devastating, miraculous punishment upon him and his land, he refused to obey Moshe Rabbeinu’s command (in Hashem’s Name) that he allow the Jews to leave Egypt.

Scoffing brought about Egypt’s destruction, and it can destroy a Jew’s life as well. When a person who is criticized with sincerity and respect reacts by ridiculing what was said, there is little hope that he will change his ways.

A renowned baal teshuvah of our generation relat­ed: “At a point in my life when I was not interested in living a life of Torah, I was sitting at a simchah (celebration) having a good time with some of my irreligious friends. A distinguished rav was at this gathering and we began to converse with him. At one point he said to us, ‘I can prove to you that the Torah is true.’

“With my chutzpah, I retorted, ‘Do you know what the word “prove” means?’

“He did not become angry. Instead, he wisely replied, ‘Yes, I know what the word “prove” means, and I am prepared to make good on my claim. But I will not do it here. If you want to hear my proofs, you can come to my home and meet with me privately.’”

That rav understood that he was surrounded by a group of scoffers and that no matter how convincing his proofs might be, there was likely to be someone who would ridicule his words and destroy any chance that someone in the group might be inspired to change his ways.

The baal teshuvah continued, “I was the only one who took the rav up on his offer. I visited him in his home, and by the time the evening was over, I was convinced of the truth of Torah.”

We learned previously that if we witness someone committing a sin, even a serious sin that everyone knows is forbidden, we should not inform anyone, even the person’s rav. Rather, we should speak to the person in private in the hope of ensuring that he will not repeat his action.

However, this does not apply when the person is a scoffer and will very possibly shrug off or ridicule our words. In this case, two Jews who have both witnessed his misbehavior can report it to a local beis din, for there is a greater chance that such a person will listen to the words of respected rabbanim than the words of a neighbor or acquaintance. It is necessary that two people witness the act, because the testimony of a lone witness is not accepted in a Jewish court.

The Chofetz Chaim says that the information may also be told even by a lone witness to a relative of the sinner if there is a reasonable pos­sibility that he will be receptive to this relative’s criticism; or to a rav outside of beis din, assuming that the rav can approach the sinner in private and possibly influence him to mend his ways.

IN A NUTSHELL

When we have witnessed someone sin who will not accept our rebuke, we may be permitted to tell others to whom he might listen.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 4:3-4

We have learned that if an average Jew does something forbidden by halachah, we are not allowed to tell others about this. The Chofetz Chaim teaches that even if we see the person commit the same sin numerous times, we should give him the benefit of the doubt. We should tell ourselves that whatever he did was unintentional; or that he did not know it was forbidden; or that he mistakenly thought that his behavior in this instance was merely not commendable, but was not actually forbidden.

Not only should we not tell others what he did, says the Chofetz Chaim, but we ourselves should not think badly of him. Rather than despise him, we should give him the benefit of the doubt.

What if we see someone enter a McDonald’s and eat a cheeseburger (G-d forbid)? Are we obligated to think that he did not know that this was forbid­den, or that he forgot that cheeseburgers are treif? No, says the Chofetz Chaim, for every observant Jew knows that this is a sin. However, we should consider the possibility that he has regretted his sin and is determined never to repeat it. We should not tell others what we witnessed, but we should speak to the sinner in private in case he has not yet engaged in teshuvah. By attempting to convince the sinner to mend his ways, we will have fulfilled the mitzvah “Rebuke your fellow Jew”

However the Chofetz Chaim cautions us to also fulfill the next part of the verse: “and do not bear a sin because of him.” This teaches that we should offer criticism in a way that will not embarrass the sinner. We should speak to him in a soft, gentle way, so that he will not feel humiliated and he will be receptive to what we have to say.

Shlomo HaMelech taught: “The gentle words of the wise are heard.” When we criticize, we should do so gently. Otherwise, our words will probably be ignored or resented.

In the last years of Rabbi Avraham Pam’s life, a minyan formed in his home each week for the Shabbos tefillos. The first week that a new gabbai called people up to the Torah, he called up Rav Pam as “Moreinu (Our Guide) Rav Avraham ben Meir HaKohen.” Rav Pam’s father, who had been a rav and an outstanding talmid chacham, should have been referred to as “Harav Meir” rather than “Meir.” Rather than tell this to the gabbai directly, Rav Pam said to him, “My father, of blessed memory, learned in Radin together with Rav Elchonon Wasserman; he later became a rav and delivered a shiur in Gemara in Mesivta Rabbeinu Chaim Berlin.”

The gabbai understood the message. He later recalled, “I never felt bad when Rav Pam offered criticism; he did it in such a way that you did not feel bad.”

IN A NUTSHELL

We should give others the benefit of the doubt and not report their misdeeds to others; at the same time, we should offer rebuke when appropriate, in a gentle, respectful way.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 4:1-2

You know, yesterday we had burgers and buns for lunch at school. I was shocked to see how Leah took her tray of food and sat down to eat without washing netilas yadayim! I saw it with my own eyes!”

It is forbidden to tell others that someone did not fulfill a mitzvah, including a mitzvah that is mid’Rabban (Rabbinic), such as the requirement that we wash our hands before eating bread.

As we have learned, it is wrong for a Jew to say anything derogatory about another Jew, even if it true. In our example, there are other factors that make it forbidden to relate the incident:

It is possible (though not probable) that Leah had already washed her hands and eaten a piece of bread during recess with the intention of continuing her meal during lunch. Or, her mind may have been preoccupied during lunchtime and she simply forgot to wash her hands. Part of being human is that we make mistakes.

One Friday night, one of the great tzaddikim of the previous generation recited the wrong berachah for Kiddush. When his family made him aware of his mis­take, he said that he had been upset about something and this had caused him to err.

So when we see someone doing something that is forbidden by halachah, we should not be quick to condemn the person as an intentional sinner. In our example, a good friend could have approached Leah privately and said, “I hope that you don’t mind my asking, but is it possible that you forgot about netilas yadayim before you ate those buns?” If done privately and with obvious respect and concern, Leah would have been grateful, not angry.

There are certain halachos that many people tend to take lightly. For example, there are fine, sincere observant Jews who might engage in conversation during the chazzan’s repetition of Shemoneh Esrei, though the Shulchan Aruch speaks very forcefully against this practice.

It is forbidden to say, “Yesterday, in the middle of Minchah, Chaim told me that … ” The fact that the speaker, unfortunately, does not consider conversing during Minchah a serious matter does not give him the right to mention it.

“He is very wealthy, but when it comes to tzedakah, he is not from the big givers.” This too is forbidden. Though the speaker is implying that the man gives tzedakah, he is also saying that he gives less than would be expected of him.

The Mishnah states that if one tells another Jew, “Remember how only a few years ago, you were eating treif (non-kosher food) and work­ing on Shabbos,” he is guilty of ona’as devarim, causing hurt through words. If he tells someone, “Remember how only a few years ago, Yonatan was eating treif …” he is guilty of speaking lashon hara.

IN A NUTSHELL:

We should not mention the misdeeds of others, neither past nor present, major or minor, even if we are not ashamed to admit that we are guilty of the same.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 3:7-8

In Day 19, the Chofetz Chaim taught that when one fails to give someone the benefit of the doubt and as a result speaks lashon hara about him, he has transgressed not only the sin of lashon hara, but also the mitzvah of “Judge your fellow favorably.” In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim details the laws of this mitzvah as they relate to lashon hara.

If someone is known to be a G-d-fearing Jew, then even when his actions seem more likely to be sinful, we are obligated to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he has not done wrong.

If he is an average person who usually avoids sin but sometimes sins, then if it seems equally pos­sible that his actions are either bad or good, we are obligated to give him the benefit of the doubt. If his action more likely was sinful but there is a possibility that it was not, then we have not sinned by judging him unfavorably. However, even here it is proper to keep an open mind on the matter and not judge him unfavorably. In any event, it is forbidden to tell others what the person has done unless the seven rules of to’eles (constructive purpose) have been fulfilled.

The Chofetz Chaim quotes the famous teaching: “If one judges his fellow favorably, then Hashem will judge him favorably.”

In an address, the great Rosh Yeshivah Rabbi Avraham Pam discussed this mitzvah:

The words “Judge your fellow favorably” are interpreted in two ways: as a warning to a judge to be fair in judgment, and as a command to every Jew, “Give your friend the benefit of the doubt.” According to the second interpretation, why does the Torah use the word “Tishpot” (Judge)a word that is commonly associated with courtroom judgment?

Often, when people accept negative information about someone, they react spontaneously: “He did such and such? He’s not worth the ground he walks on! He should be punished! He should be driven out of town!” The Chofetz Chaim cautions that such talk is not merely an opinion, it is “Rendering judgment before Heaven.” When someone indicts his fellow Jew, this carries great weight in Heaven and causes that person great harm. Thus, when we express our opinion of someone’s negative behavior, we are offering “judgment” in a very real sense, a judgment that reaches the Heavenly Court.

On the other hand, when we speak good of our fellow Jew, we act as his defender, in Heaven and this brings great pleasure to Hashem. In the words of Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev, “The mouth was created only to speak words of Torah and to speak good of the Jewish people.”

… If one has the right outlook on people, it is not difficult to judge them favorably; it is actually the easiest thing in the world. There is so much good in people … so much inner charm. If husbands wives would appreciate the greatness of each other’s neshamah, the kedushah (sanctity) that is within them, the qualities that each possesses, would there be any shalom bayis (domestic harmony) problems?

Judging each other favorably holds the key to all good midos, to all blessings, to all forms of shalom — and there is no blessing greater than peace.

IN A NUTSHELL

Judging others favorably is the key to all good midos and a crucial component of shemiras halashon.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 3:5-6

In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim says something that, at first glance, seems superfluous.

There are many other situations where baalei lashon hara [those who engage in lashon hara on a regular basis] speak in a deceitful way. They talk about oth­ers in an apparently innocent way, as if they have no idea that what they are saying is lashon hara; or that they had no idea that “So-and-so” was the perpetra­tor of the act of which they spoke [when, in fact, they were aware of this]. All such cases, and similar ones, are included under the term “lashon hara.”

Why did the Chofetz Chaim find it necessary to tell us that lashon hara spoken in a sly, misleading way is also lashon hara? Isn’t this obvious?

Perhaps the answer lies in a famous episode in the Torah. Yaakov Avinu arrives in Charan, and after a short stay at the home of his uncle, Lavan, he requests permission to marry Lavan’s daughter, Rachel. Yaakov asks to marry “Rachel, your daughter, the younger daughter.”

Why did Yaakov have to be so explicit? Why wasn’t it sufficient for him to tell Lavan “I would like to marry Rachel”?

Rashi provides the answer. Yaakov knew that his sly, cunning uncle could not be trusted. Therefore, it was necessary for him to spell out: “We are agree­ing that I shall marry Rachel — and not any Rachel from the street but your daughter Rachel. And lest you decide to switch the names of your daughters without my knowledge and call your older daughter Rachel(and your younger daughter Leah), then let me make it clear — I want to marry Rachel your younger daughter.”

As we know, even these stipulations did not stop Lavan from switch­ing Rachel with Leah.

Dealing with a Lavan is no simple matter.

Neither is dealing with the Satan.

A person is in the thick of conversation when he suddenly recalls a funny story about a friend, and in the back of his mind he thinks, “This might be lashon hara.” As he is talking, he needs to make a split-second decision as to whether or not he should relate the story. The Satan whis­pers in his ear, “Just say it casually, as if you have no idea it might be lashon hara.” Or, “Just leave out the person’s name — then it’s surely not lashon hara! Never mind that everyone will know about whom you’re speaking!”

So the Chofetz Chaim informs us, as Yaakov did to Lavan, in a way that should leave no room for doubt, “These are all cases of lashon hara — be on guard!”

This segment concludes with an important point about teshuvah for this sin. Even if lashon hara causes no harm at all to the subject, the speaker has committed a sin and needs to seek forgiveness of Hashem. This includes a situation where the listener responded, “Stop telling me such stories about Chaim. He’s a wonderful person and I don’t believe a word you’ve said about him.”

The speaker does not have to seek forgiveness of Chaim, since his evil words about him were not believed. But he does have to seek atonement from Hashem for having spoken lashon hara.

IN A NUTSHELL

We must be on guard against making statements that do not appear to be negative, when, in fact, they are.

Even if our listener refuses to accept our lashon hara, we must nev­ertheless seek Hashem’s forgiveness.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 3:3-4

It was the funniest thing. You see, Dovy really is the world’s most absent-minded fellow. One morning he was halfway to yeshivah when someone asked him where he was taking that big bag of garbage. That’s when he realized that the bag he had taken out of the kitchen trash can was still in his hand! He had totally forgotten that he was carrying it!

“Another time, he traveled to the Bronx by car and took the subway home because he forgot that he had driven there! He had to go all the way back to the Bronx by train in order to get his car.

“I’m not trying to make fun of Dovy — really, I’m not. I happen to like him a lot. But these stories are so very amusing, I couldn’t resist repeating them.”

The Chofetz Chaim states:

Take note of how all-encompassing is the sin of lashon hara. Even if one does not speak out of hatred and his intention is not to belittle the person, but rather, he speaks in a joking, light-headed way, nevertheless, since his words are in fact belittling, this is forbidden by the Torah.

There is nothing wrong with having a sense of humor. To the contrary, a sense of humor can be of great benefit to oneself and to others who enjoy listening to the humor. In fact, the Gemara relates that Eliyahu HaNavi would often appear to R’ Beroka of Chozai. Once, R’ Beroka asked Eliyahu: “Is there anyone in this marketplace who is destined for the World to Come?” Eliyahu motioned to two individuals who had just entered the marketplace.

R’ Beroka approached them and asked, “What do you do?”

They replied, “We are comedians and we go to cheer up those who are depressed.”

Yes, humor certainly can be beneficial, but not when it is used to poke fun at others.

Talmud Yerushalmi relates a rather sad story. There was a time when a non-Jewish government required all Jewish men to report for govern­ment service. One Jew, a man named Bar Chuvtza, decided to take his chances and not report. His absence was not noticed by government officials, but a couple of Jewish men who had reported for work did realize that Bar Chuvtza was absent. Apparently, they were bothered by the fact that they had to work while this fellow was back home going about his regular routine. They did not want to report him outright, but they did want to somehow make the officials realize that he was missing. So they hit upon a plan …

In the presence of an official, one Jew called to the other, “So what are we going to eat today?” His comrade replied, “We’ll eat choveitz,” which was a type of lentil. Hearing the word “choveitz,” the official said, “Choveitz … hey, that reminds me of something … yes, Bar Chuvtza — where is that Jew?”

Upon learning of this incident, Rav Yochanan commented on what the two Jews had done: “This is hidden lashon hara.”

Regarding lashon hara, there is no difference if the person’s name is mentioned or if it can be deduced through hints, gestures, or other means. If someone makes a statement that is either derogatory or can cause the person harm, and people can deduce whom he is speaking about, then it is lashon hara.

IN A NUTSHELL

Lashon hara is forbidden even when one’s intention is to be humor­ous and not to malign.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 3:1-2

Chutzpah. This Yiddish word has found a place in virtually every standard English dictionary. It is usually translated as “brazenness,” but truthfully, the word loses something in the translation.

The Torah recognizes chutzpah for what it truly is — a terrible midah (character trait) that destroys the personality of the person afflicted with it, and causes great emotional pain to its victims.

You are probably wondering: what does all this have to do with lashon hara?

The answer is simple. Sometimes, chutzpah is what drives a person to ridicule others.

In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim does away with another misconception. Sometimes, when a person is told, “Don’t say that — it’s lashon hara,” he responds, “Why is it lashon hara? If he was standing right here, I’d say the same thing!”

The person’s reasoning is: “Whatever I would not hesitate to say about Reuven in front of Reuven is not lashon hara.”

The Chofetz Chaim explains that this is false:

In one sense, speaking about someone in his presence is worse than speaking about him when he is not present, for aside from the sin of lashon hara, [when he speaks in his presence] he clothes himself in the [ugly] midos of azus and chutzpah (shamelessness and brazenness) and is more likely to cause quarreling through this. Also, this often results in the person becoming embarrassed.

The Chofetz Chaim then cites a teaching of our Sages which, on the surface, seems to say that one is permitted to say something negative about someone if he would not hesitate to utter this statement in the person’s presence. The Chofetz Chaim explains that this teaching is referring to a specific case of avak lashon hara, a statement which is not actual lashon hara, but might be forbidden nonetheless because it smacks of lashon hara.

An illustration (cited above in Day 30) is where someone comes to town seeking a place to eat. A passerby tells him, “Go to the Starmans down the street — they’ve always got a fire burning on their stove.”

As we have already explained, the passerby may have been disparag­ing the Starmans, saying that they are always cooking because they are always eating. Or, he may have meant that the Starmans excel in the mitzvah of hachnasas orchim, hospitality, and are always cooking for the many guests whom they host.

It all depends on the passerby’s tone of voice and facial expression.

If the passerby were speaking in the Starmans’ presence, he undoubt­edly would have said his remark in a way that clearly was complimen­tary. Therefore, if he chooses this manner, it is permissible even not in their presence. However, if he chooses the second manner, his words are labeled as avak lashon hara.

IN A NUTSHELL

Negative statements are lashon hara even though one would not hesitate to say them in the subject’s presence. When he is not present it is worse, for it causes the speaker to be liable for the verse “Cursed is one who attacks his neighbor in secret” (Devarim 27:24).

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 2:12-13

Rabbi Avraham Pam would caution his talmidim to be especially careful at a particularly “dangerous time.” This is the time when people leave shul at the conclusion of Mussaf on Rosh Hashanah.

What could be “dangerous” about such a time?

Imagine the following conversation:

Friend 1: “Let’s see what time it is … 2:45! That’s insane! Last year we finished Mussaf on Rosh Hashanah at 2:10!”

Friend 2: “Well, there’s a reason why we finished so late. The new chazzan obviously thinks that everyone wants to hear his gorgeous voice — he had to sing every second paragraph!”

Friend 1: “Don’t blame everything on the chazzan. It’s also the fault of the baal tokei’a. Where did this guy learn how to blow the shofar? The rav made him do it over 50 percent of the time!”

Friend 2: “And speaking of the rav — his speech before Mussaf has got to be the most boring one yet. I guess he has nothing new to say; he recycles the same ideas again and again.”

A person can spend the morning and early afte­noon of Rosh Hashanah engaged in sincere teshuvah and heartfelt tefillah — only to lose all he has accom­plished by engaging in conversations of lashon hara.

The Chofetz Chaim focuses on the criticism of the rav’s speech.

I must be very clear about something, for I see that many people are accustomed to doing it: When someone delivers a lecture in a beis midrash, the halachah does not allow anyone to ridicule the lecturer or to say that his lectures lack substance and that there is nothing worth listening to.

To our misfortune, we have seen many who are guilty of this and do not consider such ridicule to be a sin at all. According to halachah, this is actual lashon hara. Such statements are likely to cause the lecturer financial harm, and many times, they lead to his being pained and embarrassed as well.

We don’t have to like the speeches that we hear; at the same time, we are not permitted to voice our negative opinions about such speeches. This can cause the speaker embarrassment and even financial harm.

This applies even when every word of criticism is true. Unfortunately, notes the Chofetz Chaim, it is all too common for people to exaggerate a speaker’s faults.

He’s always boring, goes on and on … I’ll tell you the truth — sometimes I think that he himself doesn’t know what he’s talking about!

The Chofetz Chaim has very strong words for people who make this sort of remark. Quite often, he says, they lack yiras Shamayim and ridicule the speaker because they do not want to admit that his words of reproof are on the mark and that their way of life needs to be changed. The tragedy is that by ridiculing the speaker, they cause others to ignore his words as well.

The baal lashon hara will have quite a lot to answer for on his Day of Judgment.

It’s a good idea to keep far away from such people.

IN A NUTSHELL

Never ridicule public speakers, baalei tefillah, or anyone else whose performance you did not appreciate.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 2:11

We now return to the laws of shemiras halashon in Sefer Chofetz Chaim.

There are times when a person bows to pressure and reveals confidential information.

The shul has outgrown its quarters and the board has decided to double the size of the building. Two of the shul’s members, Mr. Fearman and Mr. Noble, are building contractors, and each is eager to be the one to build the shul’s extension. The board votes on the matter and Mr. Fearman is chosen. Noble is very upset.

He approaches a member of the board, Mr. Green, and says, “What’s with you people? Has anyone compared my work with Fearman’s? His buildings are poorly designed and of shoddy construction.”

Mr. Green replies, “To be perfectly honest, I voted for you. But what could I do? I was outvoted.”

Mr. Green has violated the laws of proper speech. A private meeting should remain private, unless everyone present agrees to reveal to the public what transpired at the meeting.

By telling Mr. Noble that he voted for him, Mr. Green is making it easier for Noble to figure out who voted against him. This is wrong.

The Chofetz Chaim makes another point. Imagine that the conversation between the two men had gone this way:

Noble: “What’s with you people? Has anyone compared my work with Fearman’s? His buildings are poorly designed and of shoddy construction.”

Green: “Mr. Noble, I’m sorry that you’re upset, but please under­stand that because you wanted this job so badly, it is impossible for you to be objective. I can assure you that we do recognize the quality of your firm’s work and before we voted, we discussed the matter at great length. There’s nothing wrong with your work. It’s just that the majority felt that for the shul’s needs at this time, it would be better to go with Fearman. And I want you to know that once the vote was taken, everyone agreed that the decision was a good one.”

In this conversation, Mr. Noble is made to understand that the decision was, in effect, endorsed by the entire board. Knowing this, Mr. Noble quite probably would have respected the decision and overcome his initial disappointment as time went on.

However, if Mr. Green bluntly states that he still disagrees with the majority who voted for Fearman, Mr. Noble will remain bitter and resentful towards the majority for making a “stupid decision.” This can lead to machlokes (strife), lashon hara, and other serious problems.

We live in a world where there is little respect for “confidentiality.” It seems that virtually every day, the media reports information “that was revealed by a source who spoken on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to reveal this information.”

Why would someone reveal information with which he was entrusted and which he was expected to keep secret? The answer might be: a bribe, a chance to get even with someone, or the feeling of power that comes with revealing secret information. Of course, none of these rea­sons should interest someone who lives by the Torah. To the contrary, a Jew should derive a great degree of satisfaction from following the halachah and keeping a secret.

Self-control. It’s what being a Jew is all about.

IN A NUTSHELL

Private discussions and votes should remain private.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

(As explained in Day 31, this segment is based on Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, Shaar HaZechirah ch. 7)

Itzik the Baker was trudging home after a long day of hard work. As he approached the town’s main street, he noticed something on the ground sparkling in the light. He bent down to pick it up and found that it was a small, beautiful, colored stone.

“What luck!” he thought. “I’ve been meaning to bring home a present for my five-year-old daughter, but I’ve been too busy to take care of it. Now I have something for her. This stone is so pretty — my daughter can make a necklace and hang it from her doll’s neck!”

As he stood there thinking, one of the city’s gem dealers passed by and noticed the stone in Itzik’s hand. “Where did you get that?” he asked the baker.

“I found it,” he replied, “and I’m bringing it home as a gift for my five-year-old!”

“Are you joking?” the dealer retorted. “That’s a precious gem — it’s priceless! In fact, the king’s servants are searching for such a gem to place in the king’s crown!”

Itzik brought the gem to the king’s palace. The king was elated to receive it and rewarded Itzik by making him one of the wealthiest citizens in the entire kingdom.

Said the Chofetz Chaim: A young child learning the holy Torah is much like Itzik the Baker and his precious gem. The child has, at best, a superficial under­standing of what he is learning. Yet, even without much understanding, the kedushah (sanctity) of the Torah that he learns is awesome; his neshamah becomes united with it, and in the merit of his study the world exists.

The Torah study of a mature Torah scholar is of even greater kedushah, because the scholar applies his mind to it, focusing on its meaning, learning it in great depth. Yet, forbidden speech such as lashon hara can bring tumah (impurity) upon his Torah study so that its power is weakened, to the point that it does not sustain the world as a child’s does.

The Chofetz Chaim concludes:

The minds of the great Sages of yesteryear were constantly attached to Hashem, to yiras Hashem and His mitzvos, and their speech was always with great purity and sanctity. If by chance they occasionally spoke an improper word, surely they engaged in teshuvah immedi­ately. Nevertheless, such forbidden talk did harm to the sanctity of their speech in general, so that it did not have its full power …

Then what should we, whose attachment to Torah is on a much lower level, say? If we contaminate our mouths with lashon hara, rechilus, machlokes, etc. what sort of kedushah can come to rest on the Torah learning that will later issue forth from this mouth?

The Manchester Rosh Yeshivah, Rabbi Yehudah Zev Segal, said that he was especially careful to always speak the absolute truth, because people would come to him requesting his blessing for children, shidduchim, health issues, etc. Rav Segal reasoned that if he wanted his bera­chos to have power, he had to be very careful with his words at all times.

All of us want our words of Torah and tefillah to have their maximum power. It is therefore crucial that we be very careful with our speech at all times.

IN A NUTSHELL

If lashon hara, however minor, could damage the power of the Torah study of the Sages of the Talmud, then surely it can do great harm to our own Torah study and tefillah.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

(As explained in Day 31, this segment is based on Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, Shaar HaZechirah ch. 7)

The story is told of a Jew who committed many sins in his life. When he passed away and stood before the Heavenly Court, matters did not look good for him. Then an angel came to testify how on a cold, snowy winter night, this man had gone out of his way to help a traveler get his wagon out of a ditch. This great mitzvah made the weight of good deeds almost evenly balanced with the weight of sins on the Heavenly scale. Then an angel brought forward all the mud this man had waded through as he struggled to extricate the wagon from the ditch. The mud tipped the scale to the side of merit and the man was granted entrance to Gan Eden.

Then there is another type of mud, the ruach hatumah (spirit of impurity) created by lashon hara. This “mud” cannot be seen by the human eye, but it is there nonetheless — and the damage it can cause is far-reaching.

Imagine a pair of students sitting together studying Gemara for four consecutive hours. They feel uplifted and channel their spiritual energy into the tefillah that follows. “I think this is the best Minchah I’ve ever davened,” one tells himself. Both leave the beis midrash very accomplished. Or so they think.

There is something that they have forgotten. That morning while eating breakfast together, an old classmate’s name came up. This classmate did not get along well with these two fellows, for a variety of reasons. Over breakfast, all his faults were recalled and the two friends shared new stories they had heard about him since the day he had left their yeshivah.

This discussion — all of it lashon hara — lasted fifteen minutes. When they entered the beis midrash a few minutes later with the goal of accomplishing a lot in the next four hours, it appeared that this would be a day of great spiritual accomplishment. But their eyes could not see the powerful ruach hatumah that their words had created. This ruach hatumah enveloped the words of Torah and tefillah that their mouths uttered, weakening their power and depleting the reward that they could have achieved.

The Chofetz Chaim informs us that the damaging effects of forbidden speech is discussed in the Talmud.

The world is sustained only in the merit of the breath [of Torah] study of school children.

Said Rav Papa to Abaye: “And what of our Torah study?”

Abaye replied, “There is no comparison between breath that is tainted by sin and breath that is untainted by sin.”

What did Abaye mean when he said that the breath of the great Sages of the Talmud was “tainted by sin”? Surely this could only mean a few minor, unintentional words that might not even be considered sinful by our standards. Yet, Abaye was convinced that even such words could damage the power of one’s Torah learning. The kind of conversation we described above can certainly have a devastating effect on the power of one’s learning and prayer.

Let’s do our best to avoid lashon hara. There is too much at stake.

IN A NUTSHELL

Words of lashon hara can have a devastating effect on the power of our Torah study and tefillah.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

(As explained in Day 31, this segment is based on Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, Shaar HaZechirah ch. 7)

Lashon hara is harmful to the neshamah in a way that other sins are not. When, for example, some­one sins with his hands (for example, he hits some­one), he causes a ruach hatumah (spirit of impurity) to come upon his hands. However, as Zohar states, when someone speaks lashon hara, he brings a ruach hatumah upon his entire body.

Why is this so? Why is lashon hara so destruc­tive? The answer is that the power of speech is what defines us as human beings. It is an expression of our intellect, of what distinguishes man from beast.

On the words “And man became a living being” Targum translates, “And man became a speaking spirit.” What we speak is what we are. Therefore, when we speak forbidden words, we contaminate, in a spiritual way, our entire being.

But it works both ways. When a Jew uses his power of speech for Torah study, it causes a spirit of kedushah (holiness) to rest upon him. This brings healing to both body and soul.

There is an expression: “Talk is cheap.” This is an American expression, not a Torah one. In Jewish life, words are very powerful.

We can gain an insight into the power of speech from a word that the average Jew recites millions of times in his life — “Amen”. Our Sages teach that answering “Amen” to a berachah is greater than reciting it. The reward for responding “Amen” even once is unfathomable. And with proper intent, responding “Amen” to a berachah is considered as if the person actually carried out the mitzvah himself (as when one fulfills his obligation to recite Kiddush by listening to its recital and then responding “Amen”).

The Gemara states, “The berachah of even a simple person should not be unimportant in your eyes.” There are countless stories of people who witnessed great yeshuos (salvations) for having children, being healed from illness, or finding their shidduch (marriage partner) after receiving a blessing from someone who, apparently, was a “simple Jew.”

Once, a baby boy was born with life-threatening complications. On Friday morning, doctors told the father that the baby did not have much longer to live. The father consulted the great tzaddik Rabbi Yehudah Zev Segal of Manchester, and asked whether or not there should be a shalom zachar celebration that night.

“Absolutely,” the Rosh Yeshivah replied. “At a shalom zachar, everyone wishes the father ‘Mazel tov!’ and offers a blessing that the child be raised to ‘Torah, chuppah and good deeds.’ For these blessings alone it is worthwhile to have a shalom zachar.”

The shalom zachar was held. To the doctors’ amazement, the complications cleared up and the baby had a complete recovery.

Our words have enormous power. Let’s use them right.

IN A NUTSHELL

Never underestimate the power of words.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 2:3-4

In the previous segment, the Chofetz Chaim dis­proved the misconception that it is permissible to speak lashon hara in the presence of three or more people. Now, the Chofetz Chaim deals with one who has listened to lashon hara that has been spoken in the presence of three or more people.

Under certain conditions, it might be permissible to repeat such lashon hara. The reason is that information that has already reached the ears of three or more people may no longer be “confidential.” It is likely, the reasoning goes, that among this group there is at least one person who does not live by the rule of shemiras halashon. This loose-tongued fellow is going to “spread the word” all around town. Therefore, anyone else in the group who repeats the information to others is not causing any damage. He is merely repeating that which is already known.

Can we rely on this reasoning in real life? Are we permitted to relate lashon hara that has already been said to a group of three or more? The Chofetz Chaim makes it quite clear that this leniency, if it can be relied upon at all, would only apply under certain very specific conditions. After discussing those conditions, the Chofetz Chaim concludes:

After all this discussion and these truths that we have clarified, realize, my brother, that one should stay far away from this leniency, for it almost never applies. And even in a situation where all the conditions [to rely upon it] are met, it is not clear that the halacha follows the opinion that this leniency is valid. According to some authorities, it has no basis at all in Shas. Therefore, one who seeks to protect his soul should stay away from it.

In Sefer Chofetz Chaim, the next three segments deal with the conditions that are needed for one to rely on the “apei tlasa” leniency. Since the Chofetz Chaim himself finds this leniency very problematic and advises that it should not be relied upon, we will skip any further discussion of it. Instead, we will devote the remainder of this segment and the next three segments to the parallel pieces in Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, also written by the Chofetz Chaim.

The Damage Caused by Lashon Hara
(Sefer Shemiras Halashon, Shaar HaZechirah ch. 7)

Take note of the damage that lashon hara can cause to the speaker:

When a person speaks lashon hara, some of his zechuyos (merits) are transferred in Heaven from his account to the account of the one about whom he spoke. As stated in Sefer Chovos HaLevavos:

Many people will come to the day of reckoning [in Heaven, after they leave this world] and when shown an accounting of all their actions, they will find good deeds that they did not do. “I did not do this,” one might say, only to be told, “This was done by the person who spoke shamefully of you.”

The guilty party will seek these zechuyos for himself and will be told, “They became lost to you when you spoke against So-and-so.”

A person can spend a lifetime devoting much of his day to Torah study, prayer, and good deeds — only to lose their merit because he was loose-tongued for all or much of his life. What a frightening thought!

Let us resolve to carefully live by the laws of shemiras halashon, for our own sake and the sake of the entire Jewish nation.

IN A NUTSHELL

We should not rely upon the “apei tlasa” leniency.
We must carefully guard our tongues if we wish to preserve our mer­its in our “Heavenly bank accounts.”

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 2:1

The Chofetz Chaim devotes almost an entire chapter to clarifying an oft-misunderstood statement in the Gemara. The statement deals with the rule “in the presence of three”.

Rabba bar Rav Huna said: Any tale that was related in the presence of three people is exempt from the [prohibition] of lashon hara.

Misconception #1: This Gemara is teaching us that it is permitted to relate lashon hara in front of three people or more.

Of course, this is ridiculous. Can anyone truly think that lashon hara is forbidden only when spoken to one or two people, but not when spoken to three or more?

In fact, the greater the crowd, the greater the sin.
So what does Rabba bar Rav Huna mean?
The Chofetz Chaim explains:

Certain statements can at times be considered lashon hara and at other times not be considered lashon hara. It depends how they are said and in front of whom they are said.

The Chofetz Chaim, citing a Gemara, offers an example.

On a winter day, a stranger comes to town, cold and hungry. He stops a passerby and asks, “Can you tell me where I might find a fire burning at this time of day?”

The passerby replies, “Sure, go to the Starmans down the street — they’ve always got a fire burning on their stove.”

The passerby may have been disparaging the Starmans, saying that they are always eating, and therefore are always cooking something on their stove. Or, he may have meant that the Starmans excel in the mitzvah of hachnasas orchim, hospitality, and are always cooking something for the many guests whom they host.

If the passerby has the first explanation in mind, then it is lashon hara. If he has the second explanation in mind and says the statement in a manner that implies this, then it is permissible.

When a comment about someone is said in the presence of three, it is likely that it will be repeated by at least one of them and will reach the ears of the one of whom it was said. The speaker would not want his subject to think that he said something derogatory about him, and therefore, he will be sure to say it in such a way that will clearly not be derogatory.

It is only in such a case that one is permitted to say something in the presence of three which in other situations might have seemed derogatory and therefore would be forbidden as lashon hara.

It is not uncommon to see a child complain that another child made fun of him, only to hear the other child respond, “I didn’t mean anything bad!” With regard to lashon hara, the halachah is clear: Statements that can be interpreted in opposite ways should not be said unless it is obv­ous that they were not meant negatively.

The same applies to the sin of ona’as devarim, causing pain with hurt­ful words, even when the words are spoken in private with no one else listening. Never say anything that can be misinterpreted as insulting or mean.

IN A NUTSHELL
When speaking about others, make sure that your words will not be misunderstood as lashon hara.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 1:7-9

When Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, renowned as the Steipler Gaon, was 19 years old, he was drafted into the Russian Army. As a ben Torah in a very hostile environment, he faced many spiritual tests.

Once, his battalion passed by a church and the commander ordered all soldiers inside to pray. The Steipler respectfully told the officer that as a Jew, he could not comply with the order. The commander responded by ordering some soldiers to drag the Jew into the church by force.

As soon as the soldiers let go of him, the Steipler ran outside. When he was dragged in a second time, the results were the same. At that point, the furious commander ordered the “impudent Jew” to run the gauntlet. The young tzaddik was forced to run between two rows of soldiers who beat him on the head with clubs as he ran by.

In later years, the Steipler said, “Never did I experi­ence such pleasure as when I was beaten for upholding the honor of Hashem and His Torah.”

Suffering embarrassment might not be as difficult as running the gauntlet, but it is difficult nonetheless. When someone suffers shame for refusing to partici­pate in a lashon hara conversation, he should experience the kind of pleasure of which the Steipler spoke.

The Chofetz Chaim states:

If someone is sitting with a group that is engaged in forbidden conversation, and if he sits stony-faced and takes no part in their conversation they will think of him as insane, it is surely forbidden for him to join. It is of such situations that our Sages say: “Better for a person to be called a fool all his life, and not be wicked in the eyes of Hashem even for a short while.” He should gather all his spiritual strength at that time to stand firm. He should rest assured that his reward from Hashem will be without limit, as our Sages teach, “In proportion to the suffering is the reward.”

The Chofetz Chaim also cites the Midrash quoted by the Vilna Gaon in his famous letter: for every moment in which a person restrains himself and does not speak that which is forbidden, he merits a spiritual light that even the Heavenly angels cannot fathom.

The Chofetz Chaim concludes this segment by making us aware of some common mistakes:

To be guilty of lashon hara, it is not necessary to make fun of some­one outright. We may not communicate negative information in any manner, including hints or body language, such as a wink behind someone’s back. It is also forbidden to communicate lashon hara in writing or to pass around a note or letter that makes the writer appear foolish.

“Last year, Rina and I pulled a mean trick on our math teacher. I know we shouldn’t have done it, but at the time, we just couldn’t resist.”

Speaking badly about oneself does not give one the right to speak badly about others. In our example, the fact that the speaker was not ashamed to speak about what she did to her teacher does not give her the right to mention Rina.

IN A NUTSHELL
We must resist the temptation to speak lashon hara to gain acceptance by others.
We may not speak lashon hara through hints, nor may we mention lashon hara about others by including ourselves.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 1:5-6

When it comes to the sin of lashon hara, the Satan operates on two fronts. Sometimes, a person becomes filled with a tremendous urge to share some “juicy” information about someone with his friends or family. At such times, one must struggle with himself; he should remind himself of how terrible lashon hara is, how much damage it causes, and how speaking lashon hara contradicts the mitzvah of ahavas Yisrael.

Other times, the Satan operates on a different front. He sends people to pressure the person to reveal negative information that they very much want to hear. Sometimes, the person exerting pressure is a close friend:

Come on, Leah, just tell me who it is that’s in trouble with the principal. Why can’t you tell me? I know that you know! Why aren’t you answering me? I thought we were best friends! Is this how you treat a best friend? Why is it lashon hara? — by next week, everyone will know about it anyway …

No matter how great the pressure, no matter how important the one exerting the pressure, one is not allowed to speak lashon hara.

Even if a father, mother, or teacher is demanding to be told lashon hara, one is not permitted to do so. (This refers to situations where there is no to’eles, positive benefit, in relating the lashon hara. The rules of to’eles will be discussed in a later chapter.) Even if one’s boss ridicules him for not revealing negative information, even if he threatens to fire him, he is not permitted to speak lashon hara.

In All for the Boss, Ruchoma Shain tells of what might have been the most uplifting moment of her father’s life. R’ Yaakov Yosef Herman and his wife emigrated to Eretz Yisrael in the summer of 1939. While they were still at sea, the Second World War erupted. The boat was forced to take a circuitous route and docked at the Haifa port shortly before Shabbos. The Hermans had only an hour or so to reach their hosts before Shabbos. They were forced to leave their personal belongings on the dock — nine suitcases and 16 crates filled with all their possessions.

Such a mammoth loss would surely cause the average person to be subdued. Not R’ Yaakov Yosef Herman. He was in a heightened state of exhilaration all Shabbos, exclaiming, “The Boss [i.e. Hashem] does everything for me. What could I ever do for Him? Now at last I have the z’chus (merit) to give all for the Boss, for His mitzvah of Shabbos and to be mekadesh Hashem (sanctify Hashem’s Name)!” (On Motza’ei Shabbos, they returned to the dock and found all their possessions intact. The British officer in charge at the dock had been so impressed that the Hermans were willing to lose everything to uphold their religion that, unbeknownst to them, he appointed a soldier to guard their possessions.)

R’ Yaakov Yosef Herman was an exceptional tzaddik. Nevertheless, we can take a lesson from him: When a person gives of himself for the sake of Hashem and His Torah, he becomes filled with joy and a feeling of true accomplishment. When we resist the pressure to speak lashon hara, we should feel proud and happy that we have remained strong in guarding our speech for the sake of Hashem and His Torah.

IN A NUTSHELL
No matter how great the pressure and no matter who is pressuring us, we may not speak lashon hara.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 1:3-4

As we have already noted, the Chofetz Chaim wrote two works on lashon hara. Sefer Chofetz Chaim, on which this book is based, is a sefer of halacha on the laws of forbidden speech. Sefer Shmiras Halashon is a work of hashkafa (Torah outlook) based on countless teachings of Chazal (our Sages), which focuses on the terrible damage that results from lashon hara and the great blessings that shmiras haloshon brings.

Yet, in today’s segment, the Chofetz Chaim cites not a halacha, but a teaching of Chazal.

For three sins a person is punished on this world and has no share in the World to Come: idol worship, immorality, and murder — and lashon hara equals them all.

The Chofetz Chaim cites this teaching here for a very important reason. He has just completed a comprehensive introduction which enumerates 31 mitzvos that are connected to the sin of lashon hara. In the opening of this chapter, he mentioned, once again, the primary prohibition of lashon hara.

Now, however, the Chofetz Chaim informs us that lashon hara can be much worse than other sins in the Torah.

When is this so? When a person becomes a baal lashon hara, someone who does not view speaking lashon hara as a sin at all. As the Chofetz Chaim illustrates, there are those who, unfortunately, take great pleasure in having regular “gossip sessions.” They sit with people who suffer from the same spiritual weakness and keep abreast of the latest news. “Did you hear what So-and-so did …? Did you hear what So-and-so’s father did …? Wait till you hear what I heard about So-and-so …!” Because they ignore a mitzvah in the Torah and brazenly transgress it on a regular basis, their sin is much greater, and therefore their punishment is much greater.

There is another reason why the sin of lashon hara so severe. As the Chofetz Chaim explains elsewhere, Hashem, in His infinite wisdom, has decreed that the Satan’s power to accuse the Jewish people is directly related to how we speak about one another. When we refrain from speaking badly about one another, then Hashem, like a loving father, is willing to overlook our misdeeds. However, when we accuse one another of wrongdoing through lashon hara, we give the Satan power to stand before Hashem and accuse the Jewish people of wrongdoing.

While the baal lashon hara is enjoying himself, his words are ascending to Heaven, where they grant the Satan the power he needs to accuse our people before Hashem.

The Manchester Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Yehudah Zev Segal, once made the following observation:

Picture a baal lashon hara being called to the Torah reading on the Shabbos when Parashas Kedoshim is read. When the baal kriah comes to the verse in which “Do not go as a gossipmonger among your people” is found, he is shocked to discover that those words are missing from the sefer Torah! Of course, the sefer Torah is not fit for use; it must be put away and another one used instead.

Said Rav Segal: This man who was called to the Torah understands that a sefer Torah is not kosher unless it contains these four words. Yet, this same man is a baal lashon hara, and conducts his life as if these words do not appear in the Torah.

Elsewhere the Torah states “You shall be wholehearted with Hashem, your G-d.” According to Rabbi Aharon Kotler, to be “wholehearted with Hashem” means not to live a life of contradictions. A baal lashon hara lives a life of contradictions.

IN A NUTSHELL
The baal lashon hara’s sins are equal to the Three Cardinal Sins, and he gives the Satan the power he needs to indict the Jewish people before Hashem.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Lashon Hara 1:1-2

The Chofetz Chaim begins the laws of lashon hara by pointing out a most common mistake. Some assume that one is guilty of speaking lashon hara only if he says something that is both derogatory and false.

This is wrong.

When the Torah says “Do not go as a gossipmonger among your people” it includes statements that are true. If the information is false, then it is classified not merely as lashon hara, but as hotza’as shem ra (slander), and the sin is much greater.

A Jew should never focus on the faults of his fellow Jew. Rather, he should look at others with a good eye, focusing on their qualities and ignoring their deficiencies.

This does not mean that we should be naïve and assume that everyone is perfect and can do no wrong. This would be foolish. As we have learned earlier, there is a mitzvah in the Torah of tochachah, to respectfully offer corrective criticism when we see others doing wrong. If the Torah wanted us to ignore others’ faults as if they did not exist, this mitzvah would be impossible.

To look at others with a good eye means to realize that there is so much good in every Jew, though we cannot always see the good. It means to understand that whatever the person has done wrong does not define who the person is. Shemiras halashon and the mitzvah of ahavas Yisrael, to love every Jew with an unconditional love, go hand in hand.

Therefore, we should not want to focus on the faults of others. And certainly we should not want to share such information with others.

When Rabbi Avraham Pam took ill towards the end of his life, he was visited by a man who heads a very important kiruv (outreach) organization. This man would consult with Rav Pam almost daily with questions on crucial issues. However, on this visit, seeing that Rav Pam appeared ill and weak, the man decided not to discuss “business.”

Instead, he entertained Rav Pam with true stories about Jews who had performed great acts of chesed in hidden ways so that their deeds would not gain them any recognition.

Rav Pam’s joy was obvious. When the man rose to leave, Rav Pam told him, “A father enjoys hearing good about his children. When you relate such wonderful stories about Jews, the Shechinah (Hashem’s Presence) comes to listen. I am confident that in this merit, I will get well.”

The Chofetz Chaim concludes this segment by noting that, as he has detailed in his preface, when someone speaks lashon hara, he is liable
to transgress many other sins in addition to the primary sin, Do not go as a gossipmonger among your people

IN A NUTSHELL
Lashon hara is forbidden even when it is true.
Shemiras halashon and ahavas Yisrael go hand in hand.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Curses

Upon entering Eretz Yisrael after their 40 years in the Midbar, the Jewish people renewed their eternal relationship with Hashem and His Torah. They inscribed the entire Torah upon 12 huge stones, they offered korbanos, and they stood upon two mountains where they responded “Amen” to the Blessings and Curses. Of the 12 curses that were uttered, three are related to the sin of lashon hara:

“Cursed is one who attacks his neighbor in secret.” As Rashi comments, this refers to someone who attacks his neighbor by speaking lashon hara about him without his knowledge.
“Cursed is one who causes a blind person to go astray on the road.” We have already learned that both one who speaks and one who listens to lashon hara transgress “Before a blind person do not place a stumbling block,” which forbids us to cause another Jew to sin. This curse applies to anyone who transgresses that sin.
If someone approaches lashon hara as something that is perfectly acceptable, and therefore speaks lashon hara regularly, then “Cursed is one who will not uphold the words of this Torah” applies to him as well. This curse refers to anyone who does not accept upon himself to observe all 613 mitzvos. In the Chofetz Chaim’s words, a person who treats lashon hara as something that is “hefker” — something that is not to be taken seriously, that can be disregarded — is no different than someone who accepts upon himself 612 mitzvos instead of 613. The Chofetz Chaim adds, “His sin is too great to bear.”

After listing the 31 mitzvos that can be transgressed through lashon hara and the curses that apply to those who engage in it, the Chofetz Chaim concludes that lashon hara can bring out the worst in a person. People who make a habit of maligning others show a tendency towards anger, cruelty, and a host of other negative traits. Because lashon hara is so destructive — to the subject, the speaker, the listener, and the entire Jewish nation — there is a specific mitzvah “Do not go as a gossipmonger among your people” that prohibits it.

The Chofetz Chaim concludes his introduction by urging us to review it again and again …

… for it is compiled from the words of the Rishonim (Early Commentators), whose holy, pure words are aflame like fiery torches. Surely, they guarded their tongues against lashon hara to the fullest extent possible; therefore, their words have a powerful effect upon those who read them.

IN A NUTSHELL
Three of the 12 curses in the Torah apply to those who speak lashon hara.
This concludes the Chofetz Chaim’s introduction which, he says, should be reviewed again and again.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Positive Commandments

Rabbi Avraham Pam, one of the great Torah leaders of our day, was a legend in his time. He combined within himself all the good qualities one can seek in a human being. His kindness was without limit, his advice was very practical, clear and correct. He never veered from the truth and always walked the path of peace.

How does one define, in one sentence, the essence of this tzaddik?

Someone put it this way: Rav Pam’s heart beat with the qualities contained within the mitzvah, “And you shall go in His ways.” A Jew is commanded to emulate the ways of Hashem. In Sifrei’s words:He [Hashem] is merciful, so you should be merciful; He bestows kindness, so you should bestow kindness.

Rav Pam was so beloved because throughout his long life, he went in Hashem’s ways, relating to every person he met with kindness, empathy, and love.

When a person speaks lashon hara, he is not going in the ways of Hashem. Instead of showing love and spreading good will, he is causing harm and hurt. Therefore, he transgresses the mitzvah “And you shall go in His ways.”

The Chofetz Chaim cites the tragic episode of Achan in Sefer Yehoshua to illustrate how Hashem utterly detests lashon hara. Achan committed a terrible sin by secretly taking some of the spoils of war when the Jews conquered the city of Jericho. Because of this sin, Jewish soldiers fell in the very next battle. Hashem revealed to Yehoshua bin Nin that one man’s sins had caused these deaths, but He did not reveal the identity of the sinner. (Achan was later discovered through a Divinely directed lottery.) Our Sages relate that when Yehoshua asked the name of the sinner, Hashem replied, “Am I a talebearer [that I should reveal his name]? Cast a lottery [and let the sinner be identified through it].”

Of course, the goral (lottery) identified the sinner only because Hashem caused it to do so. Nevertheless, by refusing to identify Achan outright, Hashem was teaching the Jewish people how reluctant they should be to say something negative about anyone — even when the halachah requires that such statements be made l’to’eles (for a constructive purpose). Surely, to say something negative for no constructive reason should be detestable to all.

Whatever has been written thus far applies to lashon hara that is true. If the lashon hara is false, then it is classified as hotza’as shem ra (slander) and the sin is even worse. It is also a transgression of “Distance yourself from falsehood.”

The Chofetz Chaim has enumerated 17 negative commandments and 14 positive commandments that one can be guilty of when speaking lashon hara. Of course, it is impossible to transgress all of them at once. However, says the Chofetz Chaim, if someone is in the habit of speaking lashon hara, then over the course of time he will come to transgress all 31 of these mitzvos.

Not a very pleasant thought.

IN A NUTSHELL
One who speaks lashon hara is guilty of not going in Hashem’s ways.
When lashon hara is false,one has transgressed the mitzvah to distance oneself from falsehood.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Positive Commandments

The study of Torah is the greatest mitzvah of all. A Jew is commanded to study Torah whenever possible. This is why, say Tosafos, we recite Bircas HaTorah only once a day, as opposed to the blessing when eating in a succah, which we recite each time we leave the succah and return later to eat again. A Jew never really “finishes” learning, because as soon as he is free to learn, he has a mitzvah to open a sefer and resume learning.

Of course, this does not mean that we cannot live a normal life. A person needs to eat, sleep, provide for his family — and, yes, he also needs to “unwind,” to relax, to exercise, to “recharge his batteries.” As long as activities lead to the goal of allowing him to study Torah and serve Hashem with a healthy body and clear mind, they are in the category of a mitzvah; they are certainly not considered bitul Torah (time wasted from learning).

However, when a person speaks lashon hara, then aside from the sin of negative speech, the person has also wasted precious time that could have been used for Torah study. The Vilna Gaon taught that every word of Torah is a mitzvah in itself. In a couple of minutes, a person can accumulate hundreds of mitz­vos of Torah learning. By contrast, when a person speaks lashon hara, each negative comment is a sin in itself.

In Pirkei Avos, we are taught that when a person leaves this world, he must stand before Hashem for a “din v’cheshbon” – judgment and accounting. The Vilna Gaon explains that din is the reckoning for the sin itself, while cheshbon is a reckoning for the good that could have been accomplished during the time that the sin was committed. The cheshbon for which a baal lashon hara will be held accountable is frightening.

As the Chofetz Chaim has demonstrated, the harm that one brings to himself by speaking or listening to lashon hara is awesome. A wise, G-d­fearing person should want to stay far away from any group or situation that might lead to such talk.

The Gemara relates that on his deathbed Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai told his talmidim, “May it be the will of Hashem that the fear of Heaven be upon you like the fear of flesh and blood.”

“That’s all?” his talmidim responded. Can it be that we are to fear Hashem only as much as we fear people?

Rabban Yochanan responded, “If only you would fear Hashem that much. For isn’t it true that when a person is about to sin, he says to himself, ‘I hope that no one sees me.’”

Someone who is careless with his words, ignoring the fact that the Torah explicitly forbids us to speak lashon hara, has transgressed the mitzvah of “You shall fear Hashem, your G-d.”

As the Vilna Gaon wrote in his famous letter to his family, “ … For everything one will stand judgment, for every word; not one casual remark will be lost … Why should it be necessary for me to write at length about this most severe of sins … Heavenly angels accompany a person wherever he goes, and not a single word is lost and not recorded … ”

IN A NUTSHELL
When one speaks lashon hara, he wastes time that could have been used for Torah study, and he shows a lack of fear of Hashem.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Positive Commandments

The Torah commands us to accord special honor to kohanim. This is derived from the verse, “And you shall sanctify him. “When someone speaks lashon hara about a kohen, he has shown him disrespect, and therefore transgresses this mitzvah. The Chofetz Chaim suggests that someone who inten­tionally listens to lashon hara or accepts lashon hara about a kohen also transgresses this mitzvah.

As a 20-year-old yeshivah student, Rabbi Shimon Schwab visited the Chofetz Chaim in Radin and requested a berachah. Before conferring his bera­chah, the tzaddik asked Rav Schwab whether he was a kohen or levi. When he replied that he was neither, the Chofetz Chaim described how wonderful it will be to be a kohen or levi when Mashiach arrives and the Beis HaMikdash will be rebuilt. Then he said:

“Perhaps you have heard — I’m a kohen. Tell me, why aren’t you a kohen?”

Rav Schwab was puzzled by the question. “Because my father is not a kohen,” he replied.

“And why isn’t your father a kohen?” the Chofetz Chaim asked further.

Rav Schwab decided not to answer. Obviously, the Chofetz Chaim was trying to make a point.

“I’ll tell you why,” he went on. “Because 3,000 years ago, at the episode of the Golden Calf, your ancestors didn’t come running when Moshe Rabbeinu called out,’ Whoever is for Hashem, join me!’ My grandfather, and all the other members of the tribe of Levi, did run to Moshe …
“Now take this lesson to heart. In every person’s life, there is a moment when a call goes forth to him,’ whoever is for Hashem, join me!’
When you hear that call, make sure that you come running!”

In these difficult times, one can almost hear a Heavenly voice calling to each and every one of us “Mi L’Hashem Elai” Those who study and live by the laws of shemiras halashon have answered the call of “Mi L’Hashem Elai” and are playing a major role in hastening the coming of Mashiach.

One of the Ten Commandments is the mitzvah to honor our parents,” Honor your father and your mother”. If someone would, G-d forbid, speak lashon hara about his parents, he would transgress this mitzvah. The verse “Accursed is one who degrades his father and mother” would also apply to him.

From the words “es” we learn that one is also required to honor his stepmother or stepfather. From the letter “vav” we learn that it is also a mitzvah to honor an older brother. One who speaks lashon hara about a stepfather, stepmother, or older brother has transgressed the relevant mitzvah.

IN A NUTSHELL
We must be especially careful not to speak lashon hara about a kohen, a parent, stepparent, or older brother.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Positive Commandments

A verse in Sefer Yechezkel1 refers to a beis haknesses (shul) or beis midrash (study hall) as a mikdash me’at, a miniature Beis HaMikdash.

Is it any wonder, then, that to interrupt one’s prayers in shul to engage in pointless conversation is a particularly grave sin?

Is it any wonder that to engage in lashon hara during prayer is even worse?

In fact, to speak lashon hara in a shul or beis midrash at any time is a very severe sin.

The Torah states, “and fear My sanctuary.” This mitzvah, to show special respect for the Beis HaMikdash, applies also to a mikdash me’at, a shul or beis midrash.

In Mishnah Berurah, the Chofetz Chaim writes that engaging in mundane conversation in shul “may transform it into a place of idol worship, G-d forbid.” To speak lashon hara in shul is a particularly terrible sin …
… for in doing so, one shows lack of regard for the Shechinah; also, there is no comparison between someone who sins in private and someone who sins in the palace of the King, in the King’s Presence. This evil is compounded when the sinner causes others to join in his sin…

In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim paints a picture of a distinguished member of a shul who, in full view of the congregation, is engaged in a conversation spiced — or better said, poisoned — with lashon hara. He continues his sinful talk even as the Torah reading begins.

The Chofetz Chaim enumerates the man’s sins:

He has spoken lashon hara.

He has been guilty of chillul Hashem by engaging in conversation in view of everyone as the Torah reading is in progress.

Even if he misses one word or one verse, he has sinned grievously. The halachah states that it is forbidden to leave a shul while the Torah is being read; to do so is a disgrace to the Torah. To engage in conversation in shul during the Torah reading is an even greater disgrace.

If this happens on Shabbos, it is a disgrace to the sanctity of Shabbos.

He has transgressed “and fear My sanctuary.

If the victim of one’s lashon hara is a person over the age of 70 or a talmid chacham of any age, then one has transgressed, “You shall rise in the presence of an elder and show esteem for a sage.” On this verse, the word “zaken” is an acronym, “this one who has acquired wisdom,” and refers to any talmid chacham,whether young or old.

Quite a frightening collection of sins. Let us make sure that we will not be that man.

IN A NUTSHELL
We must be especially careful not to speak lashon hara in a beis midrash or beis haknesses, and not to speak about a talmid chacham or elderly person.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Positive Commandments

Pointing out someone’s misbehavior in a gentle, respectful way is required by the Torah. “You shall reprove your fellow,” is onethe 613 mitzvos. This mitzvah can be challenging at times, depending on your relationship to the person who is doing wrong, and what he is doing.

The Chofetz Chaim offers a powerful illustration where the average person will not find it hard to offer reproof:

You enter the local supermarket and notice that a neighbor of yours, a member of your shul, is heading to what used to be the kosher refrigerator. You observe with alarm as the man absentmindedly takes two deli sandwiches out of the refrigerator and puts them into his shopping cart. Obviously, he has not been to this supermarket since the kosher section was moved some two months ago.
Those two deli sandwiches are treife (non-kosher).

What should you do?

Obviously, says the Chofetz Chaim, there really is no choice. Every bite of meat that the man would eat would be another sin. The only thing to do is to stop him before he takes the first bite.

And it is the same with lashon hara, says the Chofetz Chaim. If someone were to approach you and begin relating something that is heading towards lashon hara, the mitzvah of tochachah (offering reproof) requires that you stop him immediately. “Excuse me,” you can say, “I don’t mean to be rude, but please don’t tell me any more about this. The halachah does not permit me to listen.”

The Chofetz Chaim says that allowing the person to relate his lashon hara and then telling him, “You really should not have said that,” is comparable to allowing the man to eat his treife sandwich and then telling him that he has just eaten non-kosher food.

You are sitting in shul on Shabbos afternoon on a long summer day, after Shalosh Seudos and before Maariv. In the front of the shul, the rav is sitting at the head of the table about to begin his weekly halachah shiur. In the back of the shul, four men are engaged in what appears to be a very enjoyable conversation. You know these men; unfortunately, they are not careful with their words. They enjoy telling funny stories about people whom they all know.
You know that the right thing is to attend the rav’ s shiur. But that conversation in the back looks so inviting ….

The Torah states:”To Him you shall cleave” How does a person attach himself to Hashem? By attaching himself to talmidei chachamim. We should associate with talmidei chachamim at every opportunity so that we will be influenced by them and learn from their ways. In our example, if the person makes the wrong choice and goes to the back of the shul to listen to lashon hara, he has also transgressed the mitzvah

IN A NUTSHELL

We are obligated to stop others from speaking lashon hara.
We should not associate with groups who engage in forbidden con­versation.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Positive Commandments

As the saying goes, truth is stranger than fiction. That certainly was true in “The Case of the Disappearing Cookies.”

Some 20 years ago, an eighth-grade yeshivah student returned to class after recess and discovered that a bag of cookies was missing from his desk. Only one boy had remained in the classroom during recess, and he denied any knowledge of what had happened to the cookies. The cookies’ owner found this impos­sible to believe. “They were in my desk when I left the room at the beginning of recess, and you admit that no one was in the room during recess other than yourself. And yet, you claim that you have no idea where my cookies are. I’ll tell you where they are — you ate them!”

As soon as the rebbi entered the classroom, the student rushed over to him, pointed a finger at the other boy, and shouted, “He stole my cookies!”

The mystery was solved a few minutes later when another rebbi walked into the room and said, “You are not going to believe what I saw. I was walking by this classroom a few minutes ago when I noticed a squirrel scampering along the window ledge. Suddenly, it began to jump from desk to desk until it came to that desk” — and he pointed — “and took out a bag of cookies! I was amazed by the squirrel’s sense of smell; it knew exactly in which desk there was food.

“I watched it disappear out the window as it dragged the bag with its teeth.”

The owner of the cookies meekly apologized to the other boy.

The Torah states, ”Judge your fellow favorably.” From here, we learn the obligation to give others the benefit of the doubt. If we see an average Jew do something that has an even chance of being either good or bad, we must assume that he has not done anything bad. If he is known as a yarei Shamayim (G-d-fearing person), then even if it seems more likely that he has done wrong, we are obligated to give him the benefit of the doubt.

In our story, the owner of the cookies had no proof that the other boy had done anything wrong. By telling the rebbi, “He stole my cookies!” he was guilty of speaking lashon hara and of not giving the boy the benefit of the doubt.

What he could have done was to report to the rebbi that his cookies were missing and that the rebbi might want to speak to the boy who had remained in the room. The boy probably would have told the rebbi that he was absorbed in a book and would not have noticed if anyone had quietly stepped into the room during recess. (He certainly would not have noticed a squirrel scampering along the desks.)

There are more serious situations where lashon hara involves multiple sins:

Mr. and Mrs. Smolner hired Yanky and his crew to rip out the old floor in their dining room and replace it with a new wood floor. The Smolners were not fully pleased with the finished product and they asked for a reduction in price. Yanky insisted that the finished product was fine and demanded the full price that had been agreed upon. Mr. Smolner paid the full price, but at every opportunity, he told others that Yanky did mediocre work. Yanky’s business suffered because of this.

The Torah states, “… You shall hold on to him-a ger and resident-so that he can live with you… and let your brother live with you.” From these verses we learn that we are commanded to help our fellow Jew to earn a livelihood. We should offer him a loan or a gift of money so that his business will be successful; we should offer him work or become partners in a business venture with him. We should do whatever possible to save him from falling into a situation where he cannot support his family and would sink into poverty.

In our example, Mr. Smolner is doing the opposite. He is ruining Yanky’s reputation and causing others to decide not to hire him. If Mr. Smolner truly feels that he was cheated, he can go to beis din and ask them to summon Yanky to a din Torah (court case). Ruining another person’s good name is not the Torah way and is a transgression of the mitzvos mentioned above.

IN A NUTSHELL
Speaking lashon hara can result from not judging others favorably, and can damage another person’s livelihood, a most serious sin.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Positive Commandments

Among the 613 mitzvos is the command,“Remember what Hashem, your G-d, did to Miriam on the way when you left Egypt.” Miriam was stricken with tzara’as after she criticized her brother, Moshe Rabbeinu, in a private conversation with her brother Aharon HaKohen. She criticized Moshe because she misjudged him; she did not realize that because Moshe’s level of prophecy was greater than that of any prophet who ever lived, he needed to live a dif­ferent kind of life. By misjudging him, she was guilty of speaking lashon hara.

When discussing the mitzvah to remember this incident, Ramban writes:

The Torah commands that we remember the great punishment that Hashem brought upon the righteous prophetess [Miriam], who spoke only against her brother, with whom she did kindness and whom she loved like her own self; and she did not speak in his presence, which would have embarrassed him, nor she did she speak about him in public. She spoke only between herself and her holy brother [Aharon] in private, yet all her good deeds did not help her [to escape punishment for speaking lashon hara]. So too, you will not escape punishment if you speak to your brother against your fellow Jew.

The mitzvah of “Love your fellow as yourself,” is “the great rule of the Torah,” as the Tanna R’ Akiva said. Sefer HaChinuch calls this “the mitzvah of ahavas Yisrael.”

In the Chofetz Chaim’s words:

We are commanded to be concerned for someone else’s money as we would be for our own; to be concerned for his honor and to speak his praises the same way that we are concerned for our own honor.
When someone speaks lashon hara or rechilus about his fellow Jew, or accepts lashon hara or rechilus — even if the information is true — he shows clearly that he does not love him at all. Surely, he has not fulfilled the requirement of this verse [meaning, to love the person like one’s own self].

The Chofetz Chaim makes a powerful point. No one is perfect; we all have faults. Yet no one wants others to know about his faults in the slightest way. If someone were to discover one of my faults and tell someone else about it, I would be thinking, “Oh, how I hope that he won’t believe what was said about me!”

Yet, this fault that I want so badly to keep a secret is only a fraction of all the faults I possess. It is only because I care about myself so much that I don’t want anyone to think of me in a bad light.

This is the way we have to think when it comes to another person’s honor. We must protect his dignity and make no mention of his faults.

 

IN A NUTSHELL
We must learn a lesson from Miriam’s mistake.
When we speak lashon hara, we transgress the mitzvah of ahavas Yisrael.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

Flattery will get you nowhere” is how the saying goes. In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim teaches us that flattery can, in fact, accomplish a lot — in the negative column.

Mr. Degelman has applied for a job in a thriving company owned by Mr. Stern. It is a prominent,high-paying job, and Mr. Degelman wants it very badly.
One day as he is walking out of shul, he overhears Mr. Stern mention that he is not on speaking terms with Mr. Rothberg because of a financial disagreement. “Ah,” Mr. Degelman says to himself, “this is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for.” He approaches Mr. Stern and says, “You know, not many people are aware of this, but I happen to know that a couple of weeks ago, Rothberg made a major blunder in the investment market and is still trying to recoup his losses.”
“Is that so?” Mr. Stern responds. “Serves him right, that good-for-nothing. And I wonder if his losses have anything to do with his cheating me.Thanks for the information.”

The Torah states,”and you shall not flatter the land.” According to some Rishonim (Early Commentators), this verse forbids false flattery. In our example, Mr. Degelman has engaged in flattery to win favor with Mr. Stern.

If Mr. Degelman had acted according to the Torah, he would have tried to find a way to make peace between the two men. Or, says the Chofetz Chaim, he might have gently attempted to explain the tragedy of machlokes (strife) to Mr. Stern. Instead, he spoke lashon hara and possibly added fuel to the fire by giving Mr. Stern new reason to think he was cheated.

Mr. Degelman’s real problem is a lack of emunah (faith in Hashem). If he truly believed that how much he earns and what job he holds is decreed in Heaven, he would not have engaged in such shameful behavior as a way of getting the position that he wanted so badly.

Sometimes, says the Chofetz Chaim, it is the listener of lashon hara who is guilty of flattery.

Stanley’s boss, Ben Walder, has just ended a business meeting with Chaim Bern, a member of Stanley’s shul. The meeting did not go well and Walder did not get the deal he had been hoping for. He is angry. Mr. Walder approaches Stanley and says, “I understand you know this Bern fellow — he’s been president of your shul for three straight years. How was he ever elected? He is the most miserable, stubborn, haughty person I’ve ever met! You know what I mean — right?”
Stanley smiles, meekly nods his head, and says, “Yes, yes, I know what you mean.” In his heart he is thinking, “The truth is that Chaim Bern is a very nice person; it’s for good reason that he’s been our shul president for the past three years. But I don’t want to get on my boss’s bad side. I have no choice but to agree with whatever he says.”

Of course, Stanley is absolutely wrong. He should have responded to his boss’s tirade by saying, “Sir, I don’t mean to be disrespectful and I certainly don’t want to anger you, but Chaim Bern really is a wonderful person.” It is possible that his boss would have sharply rebuked him— but that would have been a small price to pay for upholding the Torah. As our Sages teach, “Better to be called a fool all your life and not be considered wicked before Hashem even for an hour.”

At worst, Stanley would have been fired. A Jew is required to surrender all his money rather than transgress a single lo sa’seh (negative commandment). Yes, getting fired would have been difficult. But one must believe b’emunah shleimah (with perfect faith) that in the long run, one does not lose from fulfilling the will of Hashem

The Torah states, “Do not curse a deaf person. As Rashi teaches the Torah in fact forbids us to curse any Jew. If someone loses his temper at someone and in the process not only speaks lashon hara about him but also curses him, he has transgressed this sin as well.

IN A NUTSHELL
We must be on guard not to speak or listen to lashon hara as a means of gaining approval.
Speaking lashon hara can sometimes involve the lowly act of cursing another Jew.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

Better that one throw himself into a fiery furnace rather than embarrass someone else in public.” To embarrass someone else is a most serious sin. In fact, Tosafos is of the opinion that a Jew is obligated to sacrifice his life, to die al kiddush Hashem, rather than embarrass another Jew in public (as the Gemara quoted above seems to indicate).

Unfortunately, there are times when we see one Jew embarrassing another. How can this be? How is it possible for an otherwise Torah-observant Jew to be guilty of one of the most serious sins in the Torah?

Rabbi Yisroel Chaim Kaplan was a revered tzaddik and the Mashgiach Ruchani of Beis Medrash Elyon in Monsey. One day, R’ Yisroel Chaim ran into the beis midrash and, with tears streaming down his cheeks, shouted, “I just saw a murder!” The students were momentarily frightened, until R’ Yisrael Chaim explained. “I just witnessed one student embarrassing another — that’s murder!”

The Manchester Rosh Yeshivah, Rabbi Yehudah Zev Segal, maintained that if children would be taught from their early youth that there are few things as terrible as embarrassing someone, they would be on guard against committing this sin.

If Reuven speaks lashon hara about Shimon in Shimon’s presence and this causes Shimon embarrassment, then Reuven has also transgressed the
Sin of, “… and do not bear a sin because of him”, which we learn that it is forbidden to embarrass someone even when correcting him for the wrong that he has done. If he has embarrassed him in public then he is in danger of forfeiting his share in the World to Come; teshuvah, which includes seeking forgiveness, is his only hope.

Another very severe sin is to cause pain to an orphan or widow, “You shall not cause pain to any widow or orphan.”This pasuk is followed by a frightening warning concerning those who are guilty of this sin. Rambam writes:

One must be careful regarding orphans and widows … as it is written, “You shall not cause pain to a widow or orphan.” And how should one act towards them? One should only speak gently to them, and treat them only with respect. One should not hurt their bodies through hard work, nor their hearts through [hurtful] words …

When someone speaks lashon hara about an orphan or widow in his or her presence, causing the person to feel hurt or embarrassed, he has transgressed this sin. Here, too, his only hope is to engage in sincere teshuvah and seek forgiveness.

IN A NUTSHELL
Speaking lashon hara can involve the very serious sin of embarrassing someone or causing pain to a widow or orphan.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

There is no greater source of blessing than shalom, peace, and there is no greater source of destruction than machlokes, strife.

When Jews are at peace with one another, we cre­ate a special aura of protection around ourselves. We are protected from our enemies, we are protected from the indictments of the Satan, and even more incredibly, we are protected from Divine punishment for our sins.

This, said Rabbi Aharon Kotler, was the difference between the Generation of the Flood and Generation of the Dispersion. The fact that the Generation of the Flood was mired in robbery proved that the people were not united at all. Therefore, their fate was sealed and they were destroyed. However, the Generation of the Dispersion, though it was rebellious towards Hashem, maintained unity towards one another. Therefore the people dispersed but not destroyed.

When lashon hara causes or strengthens machlokes, the speaker has transgressed, “And do not be like Korach and his congregation.”
Korach led a shameful rebellion against the leadership of Moshe Rabbeinu and Aharon HaKohen. The story of his rebellion and the bitter end that he and his followers met remains a symbol for all time of a dispute that was not l’shem Shamayim (for the sake of Heaven) and therefore had tragic consequences.

The Torah states, “And you shall not aggrieve one another.” Rashi states: “Here the Torah cautions us regarding causing pain through hurtful words.”

The Torah forbids us to say [or do] anything that will hurt someone’s feelings. This is very different from the common case of lashon hara. Common lashon hara is where Reuven tells Shimon, “You know, Levi is a terrible person,” or something else derogatory about Levi. Ona’as devarim is where Reuven tells Levi, “You know, you really are a terrible person.” Though these words were said privately, the speaker has been guilty of the very serious sin of ona’as devarim because he has hurt Levi’s feelings.

The Chofetz Chaim informs us that if Reuven tells Shimon, “Levi is a terrible person,” and Levi is present, then aside from transgressing the sin of lashon hara, Shimon has also been guilty of ona’as devarim.

The classic example in Tanach of ona’as devarim is the episode of Chanah and Peninah, the two wives of Elkanah. Chanah was childless, while Peninah had a number of children. Peninah, recognizing that Chanah was a tzadekes, firmly believed that if Chanah would pray more intensely, she would be granted a child. So she taunted Chanah in the hope that this would spur her on to greater tefillah. Though her intentions were honorable and, as Rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz writes, it surely pained Peninah to hurt Chanah’s feelings, she did not escape severe punishment.

R’ Chaim compares this to someone who puts his hand in a fire. The best intentions in the world will not save him from getting burned. To hurt a person’s feelings is to play with fire.

IN A NUTSHELL
Lashon hara can sometimes lead to machlokes, which is highly destructive, and can involve the terrible sin of hurting someone’s feelings.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

In the Midbar, the tribes of Yehudah, Yissachar, and Zevulun camped on the eastern side of the Mishkan, near Moshe Rabbeinu, Aharon and his sons. That is why those three tribes produced many outstanding talmidei chachamim.

On the other hand, the tribe of Reuven camped on the southern side of the Mishkan, near Korach (who was from the family of Kehas). That is why scores of leading judges from Shevet Reuven joined Korach in his shameful challenge to Moshe and Aharon’s leadership.

It is very, very important to associate with good people who are involved with good things. It is important to avoid associating with those who unfortunately have loose tongues and pay little or no attention to the laws of shemiras halashon. As the Chofetz Chaim makes quite clear, when a person is a baal lashon hara and speaks badly about others on a regular basis, he is sinning countless times, and in a way that makes it very difficult to ever achieve complete teshuvah.

In a famous incident, the Chofetz Chaim was once traveling by wagon with some horse traders who had no idea that their companion was the famed author of Sefer Chofetz Chaim. For a while the Chofetz Chaim said little — until the conversation turned to a particular trader whom these men obviously disliked.

The Chofetz Chaim respectfully told the men that such talk was absolutely forbidden. They responded by telling him to stay out of their affairs. The Chofetz Chaim replied, “If you persist in speaking lashon hara, I will have no choice but to ask the driver to stop so that I can get off this wagon.”

The men did not take him seriously and resumed their sinful conversation. The Chofetz Chaim asked the wagon driver to stop, and he disembarked.

If someone associates with a group of people who regularly speak lashon hara, he transgresses, “Do not be a follower of the majority for evil.” This can prove to be a great test. No one wants to be considered an outcast. And no one wants to become the object of ridicule: “What’s the matter? Are you some sort of goody-goody that you can’t join our conversation?” “Look wh became a tsaddik it’s ‘Mister Speak-No-Evil!’”

Yes, it can be difficult, but the rewards — in this world as well as in the next — are indescribable

In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim also informs us that if someone comes before a beis din (rabbinical court) and as a lone witness offers negative information about someone, he has transgressed, “A single witness shall not stand up against any man for any inquity or for any sin.”

According to Torah law, the testimony of a lone witness is invalid; we need a minimum of two witness to offer testimony in court. Therefore, when one witness alone stands up in court and speaks disparagingly about someone, all he has accomplished is to give that person a bad name.

IN A NUTSHELL
Do not associate with baalei lashon hara.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

Want to hear what Yosef did? You’ve got to hear this! — But don’t tell him that I told you! He thinks I’m his friend.”

When someone speaks lashon hara and at the same time is careful that the other person should not know of his dislike towards him, he has transgressed, “Do not hate your brother in your heart.” The key word here is “in your heart, “It is wrong to show open hatred for a fellow Jew. But it is even worse to act as if you like him while harboring hatred in your heart. This is the kind of hatred of which this verse speaks.

If we think that we have a valid reason for being upset or even angry with someone, then we should speak to the person about it, in a respectful manner. If we keep the anger bottled up inside it will grow, and over the course of time will most certainly develop into sinas chinam, baseless hatred. This is the hatred that destroyed the Second Beis HaMikdash.

If someone speaks lashon hara about someone out of a desire to “get even” with that person or because he bears a grudge against him, then he has transgressed, “Do not take revenge and do not bear a grudge.

Sometimes we are truly wronged by someone and we find it hard not to bear a grudge When this happens, there are a number of thoughts we can focus on to rid ourselves of bad feelings towards that person.

We can tell ourselves any or all of the following: “I don’t know what possessed him to do such a thing to me. Maybe he is having problems of which people are unaware, and this is causing him to behave this way.”

“I actually feel more sorry for him than for myself. Thank G-d, I do not resort to such behavior, even when I am upset with someone.”

“What will I gain by bearing a grudge or seeking revenge? This will only lead to more bitterness and ill feelings, and everyone will lose. On the other hand, if I rid myself of any ill feelings and forgive him, Hashem will judge me the same way and be forgiving of my misdeeds.

“And if I am good to him, there is a reasonable chance that he will want to respond in kind, and we will be on the way to real friendship and good will.”

Finally, we should bear in mind the following: In Heaven, all Jewish souls are one. Therefore, seeking revenge against another Jew is as ridiculous as hitting one’s own hand for “having the nerve” to get stuck in a door. What the person is actually doing is punishing himself.

IN A NUTSHELL
If we truly seek to avoid lashon hara, we must rid ourselves of hatred towards others, and we must not seek revenge or bear a grudge.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

In his famous Iggeres (Ethical Letter) to his son, Ramban writes that anavah, humility, is the greatest of all good midos, and that it leads to yiras Hashem, awe of Hashem. Being humble does not mean to think of oneself as a “nobody,” a failure. To the contrary, a person can be successful in life only if he has self-esteem and feels good about himself.

What, then, is anavah?

To be humble is to realize that whatever we accomplish in life is only through siyata diShmaya, help from Hashem. Without Hashem’s help, we are helpless, literally.

To be humble also means to realize that although we have accomplished many good things in our lives, we really do not know if we are achieving our potential. It is possible that we can accomplish so much more.

To be humble also means not to feel haughty just because we have been blessed with talent in any given area. A talent is a blessing from Hashem to be used in His service, not to make one feel superior to others.

Finally, to be humble means to realize that we are not perfect. No one is. So rather than focus only on our good qualities and feel proud, we should give “equal time” to our faults, recognize them, and work to correct them.

The Torah states, “And your heart will become haughty and you will forget Hashem, your G-d. Another verse states, “Be careful, lest you forget Hashem, your G-d.” By way of the first verse, the Gemara derives that the second verse is a negative commandment not to be haughty. The Chofetz Chaim draws the following conclusion:

Since the speaker of lashon hara belittles others, most probably he considers himself a wise, important person — for if he recognized his own faults, then why would he make fun of others? Thus, one who speaks lashon hara is guilty of arrogance and has transgressed this sin.

The Chofetz Chaim adds that when a person builds his own stature in the eyes of others by belittling someone else, then he certainly is guilty of this sin. Furthermore, our Sages teach us that this person loses his portion in the World to Come.
The Torah states, “… You shall not desecrate My holy Name…” This verse cautions us not to cause a chillul Hashem, desecration of Hashem’s Name, through our words or actions. The Chofetz Chaim says that when someone speaks lashon hara, he is guilty of chillul Hashem. In the Chofetz Chaim’s words:
As this [lashon hara] does not involve taavah (craving) or physical pleasure which can allow a person to be overcome by his desires, therefore, committing this sin is considered a sort of rebellion against Hashem and a casting off of the yoke of Heaven — and this is a chillul Hashem.

What exactly does the Chofetz Chaim mean? True, there is no physical pleasure in speaking lashon hara, but there is pleasure.

Don’t people enjoy telling others how someone did something utterly ridiculous? Doesn’t the speaker feel pleasure when his listeners roar with laughter and slap him on the back for telling a great story? Why, then, is this a chillul Hashem?

The answer may be that there is a great difference between this pleasure and the pleasure of, for example, eating non-kosher food. The desire to enjoy good food is something inborn. If someone has a craving for nonkosher food, we do not tell him, “Well, program yourself to look at this food as disgusting, and then you won’t want to eat it.” This will not work and, in fact, our Sages state clearly that one should not say, “Non-kosher food is despicable to me.” Rather, he should say, “I would like to eat it, but Hashem decreed that I should not.”

Lashon hara, however, is different. People are not born with a desire to speak lashon hara. They develop a desire for it because they choose to focus on others’ faults. Furthermore, a person who enjoys telling nega-tive stories about people can program himself to change his attitude. He can develop a feeling that making fun of others is something despicable. Rather than enjoying the good laugh he gets at someone else’s expense, he can learn to enjoy the pleasure of refraining from evil speech.

And if he does not make the effort to “reprogram,” then he has cast off the yoke of Hashem regarding this mitzvah and has been guilty of chillul Hashem.

IN A NUTSHELL
Speaking lashon hara is a sign of arrogance and is a chillul Hashem.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

When a person speaks lashon hara, he transgresses the pasuk, “Beware of a tzara’s affliction, to be very careful and to act…”

Tzara’as is not leprosy. Though it is a skin disease, it is a disease unlike any other. It is not caused by contact with a germ or other form of impurity. The Gemara teaches that tzara’as is a punishment for any one of seven sins; at the top of the list is lashon hara.

We can learn how terrible lashon hara is from the very severe tumah of a metzora (one who is afflicted with tzara’as). A metzora is the only living person who can transmit his tumah to another human being simply by standing under the same roof with that person, though there is no actual contact between them.

A metzora must live in solitude; he must let his hair grow and tear his clothing like a mourner. He must call out to those who pass by, “I am tamei (impure)! I am tamei!”

No other tamei in the Torah has to make such an announcement. What is its purpose? The Gemara states that the metzora makes this announcement so that others will pray that he should be healed of his tzara’as. The question, though, remains. Why doesn’t the Torah state that those who are afflicted with other forms of tumah should ask that others pray for them?

The Chofetz Chaim explains: Normally, a person’s Torah learning and prayers have awesome power in Heaven. But this is not the case with a ba’al lashon hara, one who often speaks lashon hara. Zohar teaches that when a person contaminates his mouth with lashon hara, the ruach hatumah (spirit of impurity) created by his words affects his gift of speech in a very powerful way. His Torah and tefillah are wrapped in a spirit of impurity and carry little weight in Heaven.

Therefore, the metzora cannot count on his own prayers to rid himself of his tzara’as. For this, he must call out to others, “I am tamei! I am tamei!” and hope that they will pray on his behalf.

In Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, the Chofetz Chaim asks: If tzara’as is a punishment for lashon hara, why don’t ba’alei lashon hara become afflicted with it nowadays? He cites the explanation of Chidah:

When Hashem punishes someone, He does so for the person’s benefit, so that he will do teshuvah. It was only while the Beis HaMikdash stood that a metzora could become purified from the tumah of his tzara’as. Today, when to our misfortune there is no Beis HaMikdash and no korbanos, there would be no way for a metzora to become tahor; he would remain with this severe form of tumah for the rest of his life. Therefore, today, the tumah of tzara’as clings only to the neshamah, but not to the body.

Both one who speaks lashon hara and one who listens to it are guilty of the sin of, “And before a blind person do not place a stumbling block.” With these words the Torah forbids a Jew to cause another Jew to sin. When someone speaks lashon hara to a willing listener, each one is causing the other to sin. Although the speaker is the one who initiates the conversation, the listener is required to either tell the speaker to stop or simply walk away.

The Chofetz Chaim concludes this segment by quoting the ethical will of the Tanna R’ Eliezer HaGadol to his son Hyrkanos:

My son, do not sit among groups who speak disparagingly of others. For when their words ascend to Heaven, they are recorded in a book, and those who are present are inscribed as a “Wicked Group.”

In Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, the Chofetz Chaim asks: If tzara’as is a punishment for lashon hara, why don’t ba’alei lashon hara become afflicted with it nowadays? He cites the explanation of Chidah:

When Hashem punishes someone, He does so for the person’s benefit, so that he will do teshuvah. It was only while the Beis HaMikdash stood that a metzora could become purified from the tumah of his tzara’as. Today, when to our misfortune there is no Beis HaMikdash and no korbanos, there would be no way for a metzora to become tahor; he would remain with this severe form of tumah for the rest of his life. Therefore, today, the tumah of tzara’as clings only to the neshamah, but not to the body.

IN A NUTSHELL
· From the metzora and his tzaraas we learn the severity of lashon hara.
· By speaking or listening to lashon hara, we are causing someone else to sin.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM Preface: Negative Commandments

Name the greatest threat to world peace and security in these times.” A straightforward challenge with a fairly predictable response — or so one would think.

The Chofetz Chaim offers his own insight into what causes destruction. His answer is the real answer, because terrorists and evil regimes are powerless unless Hashem allows them to carry out their evil plans. And it is we, the Jewish people, whose actions determine what will be decided in Heaven.

The Mishnah states: “Know what is above you (— an Eye that sees, an Ear that hears …).” R’ Chaim Volozhiner offered an original explanation: Know that whatever happens Above is because of you. It is our actions and words on this earth that determine whether the world will earn Hashem’s mercy or the opposite, G-d forbid.

In today’s segment, the Chofetz Chaim states:

Whoever spreads gossip about his fellow Jews is guilty of a lo sa’aseh (negative prohibition), as it is written, “Do not go as a gossipmonger among your people.” What is a gossipmonger? One who brings reports from one person to another, saying, “This is what So-and-so said about you, this what I have heard that So-and so did to you …” Though the report is true, he is destroying the world.

As mentioned above (Day 3), when Jews speak evil of each other, this gives the Satan the ability to speak evil of the Jewish people before Hashem. The result, says Zohar, is death and destruction in this world. When the Chofetz Chaim writes “he is destroying the world,” he means it in a very literal sense.

The Chofetz Chaim lists the other primary mitzvah that deals with lashon hara “Do not accept a false report,” which, our Sages teach, also includes the sin of speaking lashon.

To refrain from speaking lashon hara can be a very great test. The test of not listening to lashon hara can be even greater. It is very easy and can be very tempting to sit back and listen as someone tells a funny story about someone that makes the person appear foolish.

At Mount Sinai, Hashem declared that by accepting the Torah we would become a “kingdom of priests and a holy nation.” Through Torah, we are to become noble, refined, exceptional individuals, people whom other nations will look up to and admire.

To become such a person, a Jew must carefully guard the two pathways to his neshamah, his eyes and his ears. He must not view what is forbidden and he must not listen to what is forbidden. And he must carefully guard his power of speech, which defines his essence as a human being.

IN A NUTSHELL
The sins of speaking and listening to lashon hara are stated explicitly in the Torah and bring death and destruction to the world.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Preface (continued)

From verses in Tanach and teachings found in the Gemara, we see how important it is to correct bad midos. Anger is compared to idol worship, and we are told to be kind and compassionate. Yet, there is no mitzvah in the Torah that specifically prohibits us from showing anger or cruelty.

R’ Chaim Vital, famed talmid of the holy Arizal, explained that the Torah does not include avoiding anger and cruelty as part of the 613 mitzvos because developing good midos precedes the mitzvos. Good midos are the foundation of Torah. Without good midos, it is impossible to observe the mitzvos properly and to be elevated by them.

Yet, Hashem did see fit to include not one but two prohibitions against speaking lashon hara as part of the 613 mitzvos.1 This, says the Chofetz Chaim, underscores what we have already said, that lashon hara is more damaging than other forms of bad behavior. Evil speech is terribly damaging to the people who are the victims of such talk and terribly damaging to the Jewish people as a whole, for it empowers the Satan in a way that other sins do not.

There is another reason, says the Chofetz Chaim, why Hashem saw fit to include two mitzvos lo sa’aseh in the Torah against speaking lashon hara. Through speaking lashon hara, a person can transgress virtually every mitzvah in the Torah that is bein adam lachaveiro (between man and his fellow)! And he can also transgress quite a number of mitzvos bein adam laMakom (between man and Hashem). No wonder Talmud Yerushalmi states that just as the study of Torah equals all others mitzvos combined, the sin of lashon hara equals all other sins combined!

In Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, the Chofetz Chaim offers his own explanation of Talmud Yerushalmi’s statement. Mitzvos other than Torah study are physical in nature. For tzitzis, one dons a garment, a lulav is held in one’s hand, a shofar is blown, etc.

Targum Onkelos translates “And man became a living being” as “And man became a speaking spirit.” The power of speech is a function of the neshamah. (This is why animals cannot speak.) Torah study, in which the power of speech is used, is a “neshamah mitzvah.” This is why it equals all other mitzvos combined.

And speaking lashon hara is a “neshamah aveirah.” This is why it equals all sins combined.

In the lessons that follow, the Chofetz Chaim will list the 31 mitzvos that one can possibly be guilty of when speaking lashon hara.

Sefer Chofetz Chaim is a book of laws. The Chofetz Chaim saw fit to list these 31 mitzvos as an introduction to these laws, so that we will approach the study of this sefer with an understanding that we are about to embark on a journey of utmost importance.

Living by the laws of Sefer Chofetz Chaim can change a person’s life, in this world and the next.

IN A NUTSHELL:
The sin of lashon hara is equal to all sins combined and can cause one to transgress many, many mitzvos.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Preface

Our opening lesson spoke of Hashem’s deep love for every Jew. In this lesson, the Chofetz Chaim quotes the verse “‘I love you,’ says Hashem … ” and he describes the various ways by which Hashem refers to His beloved people: “My children, My portion, My inheritance.” It is obvious that, indeed, Hashem loves us very, very much.

It is because Hashem loves us so much that He cautions us to rid ourselves of bad midos. Evil habits such as speaking lashon hara lead to quarreling and bitterness. A home that is free of lashon hara and rechilus (evil speech that causes bad feelings between people) is a happy, peaceful home — and Hashem wants very much that we should be happy.

Some people derive pleasure from speaking lashon hara. Those who live by the laws of shemiras halashon and carefully guard their tongues know that the pleasure of refraining from evil talk far outweighs
the fleeting pleasure of relating an exciting piece oflashon hara. This is in addition to the spiritual reward for refraining from lashon hara, of which the Vilna Gaon (quoting the Midrash) said: “even Heavenly angels cannot fathom it.”

The complete verse in which the Torah forbids Lashon reads, “You shall not be a gossipmonger among your people, you shall not stand aside while your fellow’s blood is shed — I am Hashem.” The second part of the verse teaches that we are obligated to try to rescue someone’s life if we possibly can, and if we don’t try, then we have sinned.

What is the connection between the two halves of this verse? The Chofetz Chaim explains: Lashon hara can be deadly, like shedding blood. As an example, he cites the story of Doeg HaAdomi, whose slander resulted in the murder of an entire city of Kohanim.

While such cases are extreme, lashon hara can and has destroyed lives in a different sense. Families, friendships and entire communities have been ruined because of lashon hara and the bad feelings that it caused.
In fact, the Chofetz Chaim’s son, R’ Aryeh Leib, wrote that this is what impelled his father to author this sefer. In his words:
It seems to me that one particular episode aroused my father’s pure spirit to compose this work. When he was about twenty-four years old, a dispute erupted in our town between some members of the community and the rav. Ultimately, the rav was forced to leave the town and took a position elsewhere. As I recall, the rav passed away a few years later. It was said in our town that within a few years, the rav’s opponents fell victim to Divine punishment on this world.
It was not long after this that my father involved himself with the study and writing of the laws of lashon hara.

IN A NUTSHELL
Living by the laws of shemiras halashon is the key to a peaceful, happy home and life.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

Some may claim, says the Chofetz Chaim, that it is better not to study these halachos. They might say: “Don’t our Sages teach that it is better to let someone sin unintentionally than to point out his error, if you are sure that he will continue to sin in any case?1 So why learn the laws of lashon hara? Everyone knows that it is nearly impossible to avoid speaking lashon hara — unless you want to be a hermit and not speak to anyone!”

The Chofetz Chaim convincingly refutes this claim with the following points:

The rule that one should not try to correct someone who will definitely ignore the rebuke does not apply to a sin that is stated explicitly in the Torah. Since the Torah explicitly prohibits lashon hara, we are required to alert everyone to the gravity of this sin.

The Gemara states that no one is innocent of the sin of avak lashon hara (statements that either hint to lashon hara or might lead to lashon hara). The Chofetz Chaim states that this is only said of the average person. However, someone who studies the laws of lashon hara and strives to live by them can avoid even avak lashon hara. It is reasonable to assume that the Chofetz Chaim was speaking from experience; he was so knowledgeable of the halachos and so careful to apply them that he probably avoided even avak lashon hara at all times.

At the very least, studying these halachos will ensure that we will not be in the category of a baal lashon hara, someone with a loose tongue who has no regard for the mitzvah of shemiras halashon and speaks whatever comes to mind. Our Sages state that such a person’s evil speech is equivalent to the Three Cardinal Sins (idol worship, immorality, and murder) and that he will not merit to greet the Shechinah.

We may add one more point. Shemiras halashon should not be seen as something difficult, which we do because Hashem has not given us a choice. We can apply to shemiras halashon what the Mishnah says regarding Torah study: “If you do this” you will have the best of both this world and the World to Come.

What does the expression “If you do this” imply?

Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian explained: If someone were to ask you, “I’ve never tasted wine in my life — what does wine taste like?” you might respond, “Well, it’s a little sweet and a little sour.” Of course, this tells the questioner very little. There is only one way to really know what wine tastes like — by tasting it.

Similarly, there is only one way to understand how beautiful life can be when one lives without luxury while devoting himself to Torah study: “If you do this …”

And only one who lives by the rules of shemiras halashon and carefully avoids lashon hara can truly appreciate how wonderful life is when we speak only good of our fellow man.

IN A NUTSHELL
We are required to learn the laws of shemiras halashon and can surely live by them, if we will only try.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

We live in a world where, unfortunately, falsehood is all too common. Advertising, which is a multibillion-dollar industry, often tries to convince people that products of poor quality are the best that money can buy. Politicians running for office will say anything that can get them elected. To exaggerate in order to make a point is accepted as normal.
This is not the Torah way. The Chofetz Chaim was exceptional in his midas ha’emes, quality of truth, both in how he lived and how he spoke. It was only natural, then, that when writing his very first sefer, Chofetz Chaim, he would be exceptionally careful in choosing the right words for each halachah.
In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim tells us how careful he was:
Every paragraph of this sefer has been carefully researched (together with friends who are gedolei Torah). I searched again and again to make sure that nothing contradicts anything in Shas. Many times, I concentrated on one point for many days until, with Hashem’s help, I clarified the matter according to Torah truth.
My hope to Hashem is that a reader who will examine each halachah carefully will see that we were exact with every word in this sefer … Whoever will judge me favorably will be judged by Hashem the same way.
One of the great Torah giants of the previous generation, Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky, made a fascinating statement regarding the writings of the Chofetz Chaim: Because the Chofetz Chaim was exceptionally careful with his words in daily life (and perhaps also because he taught the Jewish nation to be very careful in matters of speech), he merited a special siyata diShmaya (assistance from Heaven). We know that the writings of the Rishonim (Early Commentators) are very precise. Every word is measured and requires careful study. R’ Yaakov wrote that the Chofetz Chaim’s works were written with this kind of precision and we should measure each one of his words very carefully.

The Midrash tells us that if a Jew toils to study the laws of a particular sin, then Hashem will reward him by weakening his yetzer hara for that sin. Thus, says the Chofetz Chaim, learning these laws will weaken a person’s desire to speak lashon hara. Once a person controls his speech a bit, as time goes on he will learn to control it more and more until he has mastered the great quality of shemiras halashon.

If someone makes an effort to improve, then he is granted siyata diShmaya to accomplish his goal. When we study Sefer Chofetz Chaim, we are making an effort to improve our speech. Hashem will surely assist us in our efforts, and with time we will feel the joy and satisfaction of using the gift of speech only for the good.

IN A NUTSHELL

Every word of Sefer Chofetz Chaim was written with exacting precision. Studying these laws qill weaken our desire to speak lashon hara.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

Such great Torah personalities as the Brisker Rav and Rav Aharon Kotler marveled at the Chofetz Chaim’s greatness in Torah. They felt that his tzidkus, outstanding piety, caused people to overlook his ge’onus, genius in Torah. When we open his works on halachah, Sefer Chofetz Chaim and Sefer Mishnah Berurah, we gain a bit of insight into how wide-ranging his knowledge was. We also gain insight into the Chofetz Chaim’s ameilus, his incredible effort in searching for every source of every law, leaving no stone unturned in his quest to clarify the halachah.

In today’s segment, the Chofetz Chaim writes:

Therefore [i.e. because of the many misconceptions people have regarding lashon hara] I have gathered my strength, with the help of Hashem, to compile all the laws of lashon hara and rechilus in a single sefer. I gathered these laws from wherever they are scattered through Shas and the poskim (codifiers) — especially the Rambam, Smag and Sefer Shaarei Teshuvah by Rabbeinu Yonah, z”l, who show us the way in these halachos …
I have called the sefer “Chofetz Chaim,” based on the verse” Who is the man who desires life, who loves days of seeing good? Guard your tongue from evil …” (Tehillim 34:13-14)

Each section of Sefer Chofetz Chaim is comprised of two sub-sections: the halachos, which the Chofetz Chaim named Mekor Chaim(Source of Life), and the sources of the halachos, which he named Be’er Mayim Chaim(The Wellsprings of Water of Life).

The Chofetz Chaim did not choose these names at random. When the first man was created and Hashem blew life into him, the Torah states, “And man became a living being”, which Targum translates as “a speaking being.”

What defines us as human beings is our power of speech. This is what distinguishes us from animals and all other creatures. To whatever degree we refine our way of speaking, we have given more meaning to our humanity. A person who uses his power of speech to lie, make fun of others, speak badly of others or for vulgar language is lowering his level of humanity. It is, in a sense, as if he is saying, “I’m really not much different than the other creatures of this world.”

Let us be careful how we speak so that we will be more elevated, spiritual and happy people.

IN A NUTSHELL
Sefer Chofetz Chaim is truly a “source of life,” because the power of speech is what defines us as human being.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

We have already demonstrated that lashon hara is one of the worst sins that a Jew can commit, that it causes enormous harm in Heaven, that it had the power to destroy the Beis HaMikdash and send us into exile.

Then why, asks the Chofetz Chaim, are so many people not careful about speaking and listening to lashon hara?

He answers: People who are unlearned simply do not know the facts. They mistakenly think that if the information being said is true, then it is not lashon hara.

Of course, this is a terrible mistake. We are not allowed to speak negatively about anyone even when we are absolutely certain that the information is true. (If it is false information, then the speaker would be guilty of hotza’as shem ra, slander, which is even worse than common lashon hara).

What about learned people, who do know the basic rules of shemiras halashon?

The yetzer hara is very clever. He has ways of getting anyone, including learned Jews, to sin. This is how he does it:

“Him? It’s not lashon hara to speak about him. That man is thoroughly evil, he’s always involved in machlokes (disputes)! It’s actually a mitzvah to speak against him!”

“Yes, he’s a good person, but what did I say wrong? He’s not that bright … so what? I didn’t say that he’s a bad person!”

In the Chofetz Chaim’s words: “The yetzer hara works on two fronts. Either he convinces the person that the statement is not at all lashon hara, or that the sin of lashon hara does not apply when speaking about that individual.”

And if these tactics do not succeed, the yetzer hara has one more weapon in his arsenal. “You’re not going to speak lashon hara? Well, then, I guess you plan to be a hermit for the rest of your life. There is no way that you can live among people and socialize without speaking lashon hara.”

This statement is patently false. Rather than cause a person to become a hermit, shemiras halashon is what permits us to speak. Once a person becomes knowledgeable in these all-important laws, he knows what he may and may not say in conversation.

The Chofetz Chaim concludes that the situation in his days (before he wrote his sefer) was sad indeed. Many people did not see lashon hara as a sin at all. If someone tried to stop such a person from degrading another Jew, the response might have been, “What are you trying to do — make me into some sort of tzaddik?”

The Chofetz Chaim was determined to change this terrible situation.

IN A NUTSHELL

The Satan has clever ways of convincing good people to transgress the terribly destructive sin of lashon hara.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

As we have seen, the sin of lashon hara is the primary reason we are in galus. It is clear from many teachings of our Sages that lashon hara is a most severe sin, one of the worst that a Jew can commit.

Why? Why should a sin that involves mere speech be viewed by Hashem in such a serious way?

The Chofetz Chaim offers three powerful reasons why this is so.

1. Hashem judges us midah k’neged midah, measure for measure. The reaction in Heaven when we speak lashon hara on this world is a powerful example of this. As long as we speak only good of one another, the Satan (Accusing Angel) cannot accuse the Jewish People in Heaven. However, when Jews speak evil of each other, this gives the Satan the ability to speak evil of the Jewish people before Hashem. The result, says the Zohar, is death and destruction in this world.
Our Sages teach that the sin of lashon hara “reaches the Heavenly Throne.” We now understand why. It is like a chain reaction. When we speak evil on this earth, we should picture the Satan before Hashem’s throne indicting the Jewish people by enumerating their sins. Do we want to be the cause of this?

2. Imagine a funnel that was just used to pour brake fluid into one’s car. Would anyone think of using the same funnel to pour wine into a wine bottle? Would anyone in his right mind drink such wine?
The human mouth is a precious “funnel.” It was given to us for avodas Hashem, so that we can study Torah, pray, speak kind words to others and express ourselves in other positive ways.
When we speak lashon hara, falsehood, or other improper speech, we contaminate our mouths spiritually, in a very real sense. The Torah and tefillah that emanate from the mouth of a baal lashon hara, one who speaks lashon hara regularly, has little, if any, power in Heaven.
What would a baal lashon hara do if a loved one was ill, G-d forbid? Most probably, he would respond like any other Jew — by reciting Tehillim, or learning Torah as a source of merit for the person. How horrible he would feel were he able to see that his words of Torah and prayer never reached the Heavens, because his loose tongue had ruined them, destroying their power.

3. We talk all the time, thousands upon thousands of words each day. Says the Chofetz Chaim: A person who disregards the sin of lashon hara will sin many, many times each day. Over the course of a year, he might accumulate tens of thousands of sins — a frightening thought for anyone who understands the seriousness of this sin.
This, says the Chofetz Chaim, is another reason why the sin of lashon hara is so terribly destructive.

IN A NUTSHELL
Lashon hara gives the Satan power, weakens the power of our Torah and tefillah, and can cause a person to accumulate a staggering amount of sins.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

We live in very difficult times. How great is our yearning for the coming of Mashiach and the rebuilding of the Beis HaMikdash, when our nation’s suffering will end! The question is: What can we do to make this happen?

A lot, says the Chofetz Chaim, for it is within our power to end this galus.

The Gemara teaches that the primary sin that led to the destruction of the Second Beis HaMikdash was sinas chinam, baseless hatred among Jews. The Chofetz Chaim says that hatred alone would not have caused the Churban. The Gemara must be referring to hatred and the lashon hara that it brought about. And, if the sin of lashon hara brought us into galus, surely it has the power to keep us there.

Furthermore, says the Chofetz Chaim, it was following an episode involving lashon hara that Hashem decreed exile upon His beloved people.

The Torah states that when the Meraglim (Spies) returned from their mission in Eretz Yisrael with a slanderous report, the Jews were punished by having to remain in the Wilderness for forty years. The Gemara teaches that they were punished in another way as well:

R’ Yochanan said: This day [when they returned with their report] was Erev Tishah B’Av [and the people cried that night after hearing the report]. HaKadosh Baruch Hu said: ‘You wept for no reason. I will establish this night for you as a time of weeping for all generations.’”

Thus, because of the Spies’ lashon hara, the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash and our nation’s exile were decreed.

The Chofetz Chaim makes another important point, which we will now elaborate on.

Receiving a blessing from a tzaddik is something very special. A tzaddik’s words have great power in Heaven, and therefore his blessings are eagerly sought.

Far greater than a tzaddik’s blessing is a blessing received directly from Hashem. No one would intentionally do something that might cause him to squander such a blessing — or so it would seem.

The Torah states: “Cursed is the one who attacks his neighbor in secrecy.”3 This refers to one who “attacks” his neighbor secretly by speaking lashon hara about him.4 Says the Chofetz Chaim, “How can the berachos of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, which we yearn for, come to rest upon us when, to our misfortune, we are in the habit of committing this sin?”

So the next time you are tempted to speak lashon hara, think to yourself, “Hashem loves me and wants to shower me with berachah, and I certainly want to receive His berachah. I had better guard my tongue — there is too much at stake.”

IN A NUTSHELL
The key to ending this galus and to meriting Hashem’s infinite blessings is to eradicate the sins of sinas chinam and lashon hara.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction

The Chofetz Chaim begins his magnificent work on the laws of shemiras halashon (guarding one’s speech) by summarizing our purpose in life. Hashem separated us from the other nations, gave us His precious Torah, and brought us to the holy land of Eretz Yisrael so that we could become a holy people by keeping His mitzvos (commandments). “His intention is entirely for our good,” says the Chofetz Chaim, “for by living a Torah life, we make ourselves deserving of Hashem’s kindness, in this world and the next. “

Hashem loves us very, very much, – more than we can imagine. Therefore, He gave us the 613 mitzvos, 613 precious gifts through which we we are able to draw close to Hashem and earn His blessings. And, says the Chofetz Chaim, Hashem has shown us His love in another important way:

If a person gives someone a gift and then sees that the recipient fails to appreciate what he has been given, the donor may take the gift back. Hashem, however, takes a different approach. In His great love for us, He seeks ways to awaken us to teshuvah (repentance) so that we can continue to earn His great blessings. Therefore, throughout the period of the first Beis HaMikdash (Holy Temple), Hashem sent nevi’im (prophets), who told our ancestors what they were doing wrong and guided them along the path of teshuvah.

Eventually, due to our sins, Hashem had no choice but to banish us from our land. However, He stands ready to redeem us, if only we will correct the sins that led to our exile.

We can accomplish this by focusing on how much Hashem loves us. In Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, the Chofetz Chaim offers a powerful mashal(parable):

Reuven and Shimon are involved in a bitter dispute. One day, someone approaches Reuven and says, “You know, the other day I saw one of the Torah giants of our time showing great love and respect for Shimon.”
Reuven is surprised, to say the least. However, he is not convinced. Perhaps Shimon is a top-notch faker, so that he can trick even the leaders of the generation into thinking that he is a tzaddik!
Then someone tells Reuven, “I saw the great Tanna Rabi Yehudah HaNasi showing great love and admiration for Shimon.” Another man approaches Reuven and says, “I heard Eliyahu HaNavi say that he heard Hashem saying that He loves Shimon very much.”
“Woe is me!” Reuven cries. “How wrong I’ve been about Shimon!”

Hashem loves every Jew with a deep, unconditional love. How, then, can we dislike or speak against any Jew? Is it possible to hate the person Hashem loves?

IN A NUTSHELL
We must focus on how much Hashem loves each and every one of us, and how He yearns, as it were, to return us to our Land and rebuild the Beis HaMikdash.

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